


All This and Heaven Too

by FivePips, jennandblitz



Series: Rock 'n' Pole [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Angst, Anxiety, Arguing, Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Bondage, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kink Negotiation, No Age Play, Other, Pregnancy, Recreational Drug Use, Rope Bondage, Smut, Spanking, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, asexual!Remus, genderfluid!Sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 54,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandblitz/pseuds/jennandblitz
Summary: With the decision to start a family made, Sirius and Remus find the perfect person to help them along the way. This big shift unearths lots of feelings and thoughts for them both, though.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Rock 'n' Pole [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452979
Comments: 140
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> as always, let us know if we miss any tags!

Sirius took a sip of the punch Monty had made, leaning against the doorframe of the master bedroom. They’d congregated in the upstairs hall for some reason, but Sirius didn’t mind because their  _ house _ was bursting with people. They still couldn’t quite believe they actually owned a house, with Remus, and it was  _ theirs _ .

“This place is perfect, Sirius, it’s wonderful. Right on the route to work too--” Marlene hadn’t stopped talking all afternoon. Sirius could only grin in response.

“Right? It is, isn’t it?”

Dora leaned against the bannister of the stairs, looking out of the window. “And the view is great. This neighbourhood.”

“I love this neighborhood, it is fantastic.” Frank patted Neville’s back.

“I’ve been saying we may need to move. I wouldn’t mind coming here.” Fleur was smiling at Neville.

“Yeah. Bill says he wants to move out to the middle of nowhere, but I don’t think I can handle that. I reckon we can convince him, right hon?” Dora put an arm around Fleur’s waist, also smiling at Neville.

“Yes, I’d go crazy with the baby and all.” Fleur’s eyes widened a little.

“A BABY?” Marlene shrieked.

Sirius looked between Fleur, who was looking more than slightly awkward, and Dora, who was smiling wryly. 

“Sorry, I did not mean to say anything. This is your day in your new house.” Fleur made a face, furrowing her brow and scrunching her nose.

“No, no no,” Sirius hurried to say, “it’s fine. It’s so absolutely fine. I’m so excited for you! You’re going to have a baby?” They stepped forward and hugged Fleur tight whilst Marlene gave another shriek and hugged Dora. It said something about how much Sirius wanted a baby of their own now that the news was met with a sort of jealous longing and not just excitement for their friends.

“Thanks! We were going back and forth for awhile who would carry the baby, and I’m honestly a little jealous that Fleur is carrying the little thing.” Dora was still grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s amazing!” Marlene hugged Fleur as soon as Sirius stepped back, and Sirius went to embrace Dora. What if…?

“Ha, you will not be saying that when I’ve got awful heartburn and fat ankles, my love,” Fleur said, giving her girlfriend a fond look.

“You’ll be glowing and carrying a life in you. It’d be great to be able to do it with you, but we’re not going to have two kids.” Dora snorted, hugging Sirius back.

_ Oh shit _ . Sirius grinned, trying not to just burst with an idea because they could  _ hear _ Poppy in their head getting ready to chastise them. “My little cousin, having a kid. That’s amazing, Dora. I bet Bill is over the moon.”

“He’s the most excited, I think. He’s been dying to tell everyone and I’ve let it slip. Please, don’t tell anyone else.” Fleur pleaded.

“We won’t, will we Marly?” Sirius said, giving their friend a sharp look. Well, except Remus, obviously because this was  _ too perfect _ .

“NO! WE WON’T!” She looked like she was about to burst.

“Exactly.” Sirius nodded, sidling past the group. “Ah, I’m gonna go, get another drink. I’ll see you in a while?”

“Yes!”

Sirius was sure they managed to look vaguely okay as they started down the stairs, but halfway down they broke into a run, looking for Remus. “REMUS!”

Remus was chatting with his mam near the doors out into the back garden. “What is it Sirius?”

“I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!” Sirius ran over to him and seized him by the forearm, pulling him towards the kitchen. “Come with me, come on!”

“What?” Remus laughed, probably thinking how manic Sirius was being.

Sirius just rolled their eyes, seeing the kitchen was far too full of people for a real conversation. They dragged Remus into the laundry room, following him in before they slammed the door behind them. “Important news,” they gasped out, feeling as if they might explode with excitement. “Very important news.”

Remus was staring at them as if they had five heads. “What…”

“I know who we can ask to be our surrogate.”

It took Remus a few moments to respond. He was probably racking his brain for who on earth could be their surrogate. They have had plenty of conversation about their group of friends and who they might consider asking. “Who?”

“Dora!” Sirius clasped their hands together, bouncing on the balls of their feet. “This is a secret, but Fleur is pregnant and they were talking about how they couldn’t decide over who should carry the baby and how she was a little jealous and wished they could both carry, and--and--she’s my cousin, so the baby will even have Black genes-- _ good _ , not crazy Black genes!”

Remus was staring at them with an opened mouth. “You’re joking. This… no way.”

“Yes way! Yes! Lets ask her! We can talk to them all at some point! Let’s ask them, please, please?”

“You’re going to actually… we’re going to actually be… oh my god.” Remus blinked a few times. “I… it would be  _ our _ baby. Like…”

“Exactly!” Sirius moved forward, putting their hands on his shoulders. “Exactly.”

“Sirius!” Remus wrapped his arms around them, picking them up in a hug.

Sirius stifled a squeal into his shoulder, kicking their legs. “I KNOW!”

“I can’t believe it!” Remus spun around a little. “How can we go back out there? I’m not going to be able to pretend that nothing is happening. Oh god. We should invite them to dinner or something.”

“Dinner. Invite them to dinner. Next week when we’re both off. It’s perfect, it fits so well, doesn’t it?”

“Yes!” Remus set them down. “Okay, we need to go back out there.”

“We can put on a brave face until we’ve spoken to them.” Sirius stood up, grinning ear to ear. “Oh god, I’m so excited.”

“I’m going to die from keeping this in, oh god.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, why do you ask them to dinner?”

“I’ll make up some Black family agenda, don’t worry,” Sirius said, waving a hand. They didn’t want to think about that yet.

“Okay, oh god. Okay.” Remus kissed them soundly, grabbing them by the shoulders. “Right, I need another cup of that punch.”

Sirius laughed, kissing back with a little nip to his bottom lip. “Let’s go.”

“Stop kissing me then,” He mumbled before deepening the embrace.

“Never,” Sirius murmured, pressing closer. “It’s a shame I didn’t drag you into the bathroom, that has a lock on the door.”

“Mmm, I know.” Remus pressed them against the door but pulled back when they both heard Marly shriek somewhere. “Christ.”

“You know,” Sirius chuckled, “I thank my stars every day that I never had to live with Marlene.” Sirius kissed him again before stepping back and opening the door.

“Could you imagine?” Remus followed them out.

“You’d never sleep a wink, would you?” Sirius gave him a grin over their shoulder, brimming with excitement that they might have found a surrogate. “Punch?”

“She’d keep me up ‘til god knows.” Remus shook his head as she came skipping into the kitchen with the biggest grin.

“Marly!” Sirius grabbed her around the waist, laughing. “We were just talking about how happy we are that we never had to live with you, you absolute banshee.”

“You two missed out!” She hugged them.

“I think I didn’t.” Remus made a face as he poured two glasses of punch.

“Sure, sure.” Sirius laughed at the dryness in Remus’ voice.

“So.” Marlene started, pinning them with a look. “Did you run off because of why I think you ran off?”

Sirius rolled their eyes. Sometimes Marlene was oblivious, and sometimes she was painfully intuitive. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“You’re so strange, Marly.” Remus handed Sirius a cup.

“Thank you caro,” Sirius said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, I wanna talk barre placement ideas with you.”

The housewarming went on until close to midnight, but eventually everyone filtered home and Sirius collapsed onto the sofa with a satisfied sigh. They could tidy tomorrow, couldn’t they?

“You look like you need your robe to swan around in right now.” Remus leaned against the doorway of the living room. “I think that was a good party, huh?”

“Yes! And the chaise!” Sirius chuckled, tilting their head to watch him. “It was wonderful.”

“I’m having a  _ hey, this is really your life moment _ .” He ran a hand through his curls.

Sirius’ smile softened a little and they held their hand out to him. “I have that every day I wake up next to you, I think.”

“Sap.” Remus walked over to them, taking their hand.

“Only for you caro,” they murmured, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“Are you going to ask Dora and them over for next Saturday?” Remus smiled down at them.

“Friday. They have a competition on Saturday night. Friday still suits though, right?”

“Yeah, I’m out at 4 Friday.”

“Perfect. I’ll leave it and text them in the morning, if that’s alright?” Sirius kissed his hand again, tilting their head over the arm of the sofa to look at him.

“Perfect.” Remus ran his fingers through their hair. “I hope it works out.”

“I think it just might…” 

“Me too. I got a good feeling.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” Remus grinned leaned down, pressing a kiss to their forehead. “Want to go relax in our large soft bed?”

“Mmm, yes please. I am far too tired to work on our goal of shagging on every surface.”

“I’m not in the mood anyway, so that’s good.” He laughed, tugging on Sirius’ hand.

“Thank god,” Sirius quipped, chuckling as they stood up. Snuffles had already retired to bed apparently, because he wasn’t in his bed by the window.

“It really feels like home now, doesn’t it?” Remus slipped his arm around them as they walked towards the stairs.

Sirius smiled as they walked past the canvas of their wedding day. “It is home. It’s ours, full of all of our things and all our love.”

“Ah, and maybe a baby soon enough.” Remus kissed their cheek as they went up the stairs.

“Right? God… it’s amazing.” Sirius took the last few stairs, tugging Remus into the bedroom. “Come on.”

“I love your bed, but this bed is the best.” He kissed them one more time before going to get undressed.

Sirius was quick to shrug out of their clothes, kicking their shoes off before they flopped onto the bed. “God, I’m exhausted.”

“Me too. It was a busy day.” Remus pulled on a pair of PJ bottoms then crawled into bed.

“It’s only going to get busier, but it’s worth it.” They rolled over, throwing an arm around Remus’ waist. “I love you.”

“So so so worth it. I love you too.” He snuggled up against them.

“Goodnight, Rem,” Sirius mumbled, their eyes already closing.

“Goodnight, my pearl.” He let out a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

The week did not fly by. It crawled. So slowly. Remus was going to lose his mind. He couldn’t talk about why he was being grumpy and touchy. The only person he could talk to was Sirius, and even then they really could only imagine what would happen. He wanted to shout about how they were going to ask Dora to be the surrogate, which meant the baby would also be part Black! Except no one knew -- not even Dora, Bill, and Fleur yet! To say Remus was frustrated was an understatement.

But they did have a plan. Remus made them make a list of talking points:

  1. Is Dora really interested in carrying a baby?
  2. Would Dora be interested in being a surrogate and egg donor?
  3. What are the legalities? (I have a list for what we should know like transferring the parenthood to us after birth on the certificate)
  4. Money for expenses?
  5. What should the boundaries be?
  6. Being involved in the baby’s life post-birth?
  7. Doctors (We already have one through the agency, but Dora should get to choose)



It was finally the night of the dinner, and Remus tried his best not to speed home from work. Sirius had been texting him all day about dinner and how stressed they were, but also excited. Remus couldn’t help but agree. Thank god he was finally bursting through the doors of their home.

“Hi love!” He called out to them, toeing out of his shoes.

“Hi! In the kitchen!” Sirius called back above the music they had blaring.

Snuffles came running to Remus with a ball in his mouth as he came into the dining room. “How are you?” He took the ball and tossed it before going into the kitchen.

“Fine! I am making cocktails from Monty and we’re ordering in. I have decided that I cannot cook for this many people.” Sirius turned at the counter, smiling at him. They were in ripped jeans and a tank top, their hair scraped up into a bun.

Remus put his hands on their hips. “Oh good, we don’t want to have you covered in sauce like Reggie would be.” He kissed their cheek.

“Ha, no matter how femme I’m feeling, I’m clearly not a housewife,” they said dryly, kissing Remus’ cheek.

“Thank goodness. Not that there is anything wrong with housewives if that’s what they want to be, but you’re not.” He rubbed a hand over their side. “Looks good.”

“There’s a mocktail for Fleur, and then well, a decidedly  _ not _ -mocktail.”

“Good, good.” Remus nodded. “I’m fucking dying inside.”

Sirius huffed a laugh. “I know. You’ve been grumpy all bloody week, caro.”

“I’m sorry!” He groaned, resting his forehead on their shoulder. “I’ve been so pent up with this.”

“It’s alright. Hopefully we can end the night celebrating, hm?” Sirius wrapped their arms around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“I’m trying not to get too excited over it because it’s not a for sure thing.” He was sure that he was going to be gutted if Dora said no. The thought kept popping in to ruin any excitement.

“Right,” Sirius said, their voice soft. “And if Dora says no, then we have other options. We’re getting this damn baby, Remus.”

“Okay, okay. I just love the idea of Dora because she’s your family, you know?” Remus lifted his head up.

“I know, I love it too.” Sirius smiled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

Remus kissed back for a moment before pulling away. “I’m going to get out of my climbing gear and hop into the shower. When will they be here?”

“About twenty minutes, I think? Dora just text me saying they were about to leave.”

“All right, I’m going to hustle then. What… should I wear?” Remus took a few steps towards their stairs.

Sirius gave him the biggest smile. “Just what you would for dinner with friends, caro. Don’t worry.”

“It’s an important night!” Remus shouted as he made his way for the stairs.

“I know! Wear your dark jeans and that burgundy button-up!” Sirius called back.

Remus laughed as he practically ran up the stairs to their bedroom. He quickly stripped out of his clothes then got in the shower. The only thoughts running through his brain were ones to do with the night ahead. It was all so scary and exciting, he was sure that he was going to vibrate out of his skin. Surely this was how James felt when anything exciting happened within their found family. At least he wasn’t crying at the drop of a hat.

Once he was out of the shower, he changed into what Sirius suggested before fussing a tiny bit with his curls -- he needed a haircut. Then he headed back downstairs to the kitchen. He found Dora, Fleur, and Bill already there in the dining room. Sirius was serving out the fancy looking cocktails and mocktails they had made.

“Hi! Sorry!” Remus went to hug Dora… probably a bit too tight.

“Hey Remus! How are you?” Bill was beaming already.

“Alright Moony,” Dora said, sounding a bit winded.

“Brilliant! How are you all?” Remus let go of Dora then turned to Bill. “Anything interesting happening?”

“Ha, no, nothing… just… you know.” He gestured to Fleur, who Sirius was currently asking a million questions of.

“Yeah! I know! How exciting!” Remus nodded.

“Okay, you’re both being fucking weird.” Dora took a sip of her drink, raising one eyebrow.

Remus looked to Sirius. He had no idea when the hell they would actually ask. Sirius was staring at him incredulously, shaking their head a little.

“Well, okay.” They sighed and passed Remus a drink. “Seeing as he’s blown our cover already. We had something kind of weird but really important we wanted to ask the three of you.”

“Me!” Remus glared at them.

Fleur laughed, looking between them. “I am wondering how strange your request is going to be if the two of you say it is weird.”

“I mean, sort of weird. I also feel like we should be a little offended.” Remus tried to make a joke, but it fell flat in his brain.

“I love weird, tell me.” Dora leaned forward.

“Weird’s cool… sometimes…” Bill put an arm around Fleur.

Sirius bit their lip, looking mainly to Dora. “Remus and I… we want to have a baby. But obviously, anatomy is in the way a little… So, we’re looking into surrogacy, and, well. Dora, we thought it would be amazing if you would consider being our surrogate, seeing as you and I are related, you know?”

“REALLY? FUCK YEAH I WOULD LOVE TO!” She jumped up again.

“REALLY? Oh! Oh, okay. We -- there’s a lot to talk about.” Remus threw his arms around her again.

“YOU WOULD?” Sirius jumped up too, wrapping their arms around them both. 

“Fuck, yeah I would!”

Fleur laughed over Dora’s shoulder. “That’s not weird, it’s rather sweet.”

“It works out well, Dora, seeing as you were feeling a little down about how the chips fell with the three of us, hm?” Bill smiled, standing up to put an arm around his girlfriend.

“Yeah! Fleur, we’ll get to be pregnant together.” Dora pulled away to go hug Fleur.

Remus couldn’t stop smiling. It was going to happen, they were going to have a baby.  _ Shit -- in the best way possible. _ “Sirius nearly exploded when you talked about it at the house warming.”

Sirius laughed. “I did, I had such an epiphany.” They smiled at Remus, their eyes looking a little watery. “You really would want to, Dora?”

“I do! I really want to! I’d love to be able to give you this. Fleur and I have two ovens and only want one bun. So -- it’s perfect!” She kissed her girlfriend’s cheek.

“Being pregnant with you is going to be so wonderful, my love,” Fleur said, smiling.

“Well, when you put it like that…” Sirius bit their lip around a grin.

Remus took a deep breath. “Okay, we should talk about some things.”

Over dinner they discussed the technicalities of the whole thing. Dora, like Sirius, tended to be down for anything so she was just  _ ready _ . She also seemed ready to be pregnant with Fleur. Now they were sat in the living room, the trio on the sofa and Remus and Sirius on their new love seat. “This seems very opposite of what the Black ancestors would want.” Bill commented with a chuckle.

“ _ That _ is why we’re doing it,” Sirius said, gesturing to him. “Fuck the lot of them.”

“Ha! My motivation in life is to be so anti-those bastards. Oh god, mum is going to fucking freak out.” Dora’s eyes widened, as if she just remembered her mother.

“My mam is too, but maybe for different reasons?” Remus laughed.

“I think everyone will freak out? But that’s alright.”

Fleur chuckled. “We shall have to tell your mum, Dor.”

“Do we really have to?” She groaned, rest her head on Fleur’s shoulder.

“I don’t think we should keep it secret,” Bill said, chuckling. “She’ll be happy.”

“Yeah, and I haven’t seen your mum in years, Dora. Alphard keeps asking about her.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand, shooting him a smile.

“Yeah, he brings her up whenever we talk to him.” Remus nodded. “Plus, she’d probably be more angry if you didn’t tell her. Not that I don think that she’ll be angry from what I understand.”

“Exactly,” Bill agreed, smiling at his partners.

“God, logic, you all. I hate you. Not really. I love you all. Especially my baby daddy.” Dora winked at Remus.

Remus nearly choked on his drink. “Oh god, don’t call me that to your mother.”

Sirius snorted a laugh, throwing their head back. Remus squeezed their thigh.

“Please, do not call him that.” Fleur looked as if she sucked on something sour.

“Only  _ I _ get to call him that,” Sirius said with a lurid grin. They  _ looked _ like they were joking, thankfully, so Remus hoped no one would take them seriously.

Remus laughed, hoping that he didn’t sound like he was forcing it. The trio joined in the laughter. He leaned in to Sirius as Bill started to talk about how he thought it’d be great that the babies were going to be so close in age. “You’re in so much trouble,” He whispered.

Sirius smiled and kissed his cheek. “You wouldn’t do that to the future parent of your child, would you caro? Besides, it was  _ obviously _ a joke.”

“Trouble.” Remus turned back to the group.

“I love you,” Sirius sing-songed.

“Right! And the whole group is just… it all works together so well, all the children are going to grow up together.”

“It’s so exciting!” Remus agreed, not forgetting what Sirius had done.

“I’ll send you the details of the surrogacy agency, Dora, and we can talk about appointments and that?” Sirius kept their hand on his thigh.

“Yeah, when I’m not three cocktails down I think,” Dora said, gesturing with her drink.

“That’s a very good idea. I think we should probably head home.” Fleur nudged her.

“You’re welcome to stay the night, if you’d rather, guys?” Sirius glanced to Remus then to the group.

Remus knew exactly what they were doing, so he didn’t comment as Bill stood up. “No, we’re good. Thanks though.”

“You sure?” Remus asked, patting Sirius on the knee to walk them out.

“We’ll be okay.” Fleur hugged Remus. “I’m so happy, Remus.”

“Me too.” He kissed her on the cheek.

Sirius and Dora embraced by the door, Sirius hugging their cousin tightly.

As soon as they said their goodbyes, Remus closed the door and rested against it. “So, we’re having a baby.”

Sirius grinned, pushing their hair back from their face. “ _ We’re having a baby. _ ”

“We are.” Remus grinned.

“Dora is so excited too, this works out, it’s fucking perfect, Remus!”

“So perfect, princess.” He held his hand out. Sirius took his hand and padded closer, resting their head on his shoulder as they planted a kiss there through the fabric. “I love you.” He wrapped his arms around them. “But what do you think I’m going to say?”

“That I am in trouble for the Daddy joke, even though everyone knew it was a  _ joke _ .” Sirius sounded sullen, lifting their head from his shoulder.

Remus wasn’t even mad about it because they thought it was a joke, but they had boundaries and this was one. “Are you supposed to even talk about it with anyone else? I’ve let you get away with it with Marly because it’s Marly and Dorky would kill her if she said anything.”

Sirius bit their lip. “I just couldn’t pass up the joke, caro. I’m sorry.”

“Who?”

“Daddy.” They at least had the good grace to sound a  _ little _ repentant.

“And when do you call me Daddy or even talk about it with others?”

“Like… never. Only talk about it to Marlene, if I  _ have _ to.”

“Yeah, and what’d you do?” Remus questioned, wrapping his arms around them.

“Called you Daddy.  _ As a joke _ .” Sirius pouted.

“You said you couldn’t help it, maybe we should have a lesson in self control?” He hummed, rubbing their back a little.

Sirius bit their lip, their eyes brightening a little as they pressed against him. “You are a good teacher, Daddy.”

“Yeah?” Remus smiled. “Go up to our bedroom, princess, get undressed. Put on the collar I bought you recently, and then sit on your knees on the bed. You’re not allowsd to touch yourself or get off or hump the bloody mattress or floor or anything. Just sit nicely.”

Sirius grinned. “All these in-built clauses now, Daddy, almost like you don’t trust me.” 

“Hmm, wonder why that is.” He stepped back, letting go of Sirius. They just shrugged in response before bounding away towards the stairs.

Remus smiled, going to the kitchen to clean up the dishes. He took his time before filling two glasses with water. Once everything was clean, Remus made his way upstairs. He ignored Sirius, not even looking at them on the bed when he set their water down. Remus went into the bathroom to get a cloth, and to get down to his briefs. Sirius watched him, their eyes bright, but didn’t say anything, surprisingly.

He fussed around in the bathroom for a few minutes before finally go out into the bedroom. Still, he tried not to focus on Sirius as he climbed into bed on his side, which Sirius had their back to since they were facing the door. Remus set the cloth aside and smiled to himself, looking at Sirius’ back.

Sirius tilted their head to the side a little. “Daddy?”

He didn’t answer, he just reached for his phone. They shifted, but didn’t say anything else. Remus looked down at his phone, trying his best not to give Sirius any attention.

“Are you… taking a picture?”

Remus still didn’t answer, scrolling through Instagram.

Sirius was still for a moment longer before they inhaled sharply and turned around. They settled back on their knees facing him, biting their lip hard. For a second he was going to question Sirius, but they didn’t do anything but sit there. He had a feeling it had to do with feeling left. They would have to talk about it after. Sirius watched him, shifting again, clearly getting impatient or uncomfortable.

He set aside his phone and rolled onto his side. “You’re so pretty, princess.”

“Thank you,” Sirius murmured, seeming to relax all at once.

“You’re listening so well.”

“Trying to make it up to you,” they said, watching him.

“Yeah?” Remus reached out to rub a hand over their thigh.

Sirius squirmed at the touch, biting their lip. “Yes Daddy.”

“Your knees must hurt.”

They just nodded.

Remus pouted. “Oh, you poor princess. Why don’t you come here and cuddle with me?”

“Okay,” Sirius breathed, gingerly shifting onto their knees before moving closer.

Remus reached out for them, guiding them to be the little spoon once they were close enough. He kissed their shoulder then wrapped his arm around their middle. Sirius exhaled then sank into him, their hand going to his arm.

“What are we doing?”

“Just cuddling for now. I could get you off in a bit.” Remus ran his hand over their stomach.

“Could?” Sirius bit their lip, shifting.

“I could, yeah.” He kissed over their shoulder.

They tilted their head to bare their neck to him, sighing softly. “I wanna be good for you, Daddy.”

“You do?” Remus hummed before he nipped at their neck.


	3. Chapter 3

By now, Sirius was pretty used to be made to wait in the bedroom before Remus arrived, so they were happy to wait there, naked with their new collar. What they  _ didn’t _ expect was for Remus to ignore them when he walked into the room, nor for him to leave again, come back a few minutes later and settle on the bed behind them. 

Sirius knew it was a test of some kind, but they were getting a little anxious facing away from him like that, waiting for something to happen. Instead of speaking up, though, they just turned around, feeling miles better once they knew he was definitely there and hadn’t left. They had  _ no _ idea what he was up to, though, as he spooned them and kissed at their neck. They were torn, as always, between sinking into the sensation and trying not to get too carried away.

“Do you think you need to be tickled?” Remus asked, his fingers dancing down their stomach. They weren’t tickling, really.

Sirius tensed up, squirming a little. “No, no I’m sorry already Daddy.”

“You are?” Remus’ fingers continued to stroke over their abdomen.

“Yeah, very sorry Daddy,” they said, trying not to squirm even more.

“What are you sorry for?” Remus bit down on their neck, his fingers still moving.

“Ahh, fuck--for, for making the Daddy joke in front of everyone.”

“Did you learn you lesson?”

Sirius closed their eyes; they could feel their cheeks flushing. “Yes Daddy.”

“That’s good princess, you learn so fast when you want to.” Remus’ fingers went down past their belly button. Sirius  _ tried _ not to moan softly at the praise and Remus’ touch, but it didn’t work very well. “You’re so good when you listen.” He wrapped his hand around their cock. Sirius moaned in earnest that time, their eyes opening to watch Remus stroke them.

For a moment he stroked them softly before pulling his hand off them, and bringing it up to their mouth. “Lick.”

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sirius breathed, shivering as they did what he asked. They took their time, laving the flat of their tongue over his palm.

“That’s enough, princess.” Remus kissed the back of their neck.

Sirius could only response with another shiver, grinding their hips back against Remus’. “Mm, I love your fingers.”

“I know.” Remus let out a huff of a laugh, moving his hand back down to their cock.

“They’re the best,” they continued, tilting their head a little to watch him.

“They are, huh?” Remus started to stroke them again with a smirk on his face.

They moaned, grinding against him a little. “Yeah, ah, they are my favourite.”

“I know. You like them in your mouth and around your cock and inside you and around your neck and pulling your hair…” Remus sucked on another spot of their neck, moving his hand faster, gripping them a little tighter.

“Ahh, yeah. I can never decide where I--fuck--like them best, Daddy.” Sirius’ stomach flipped as they watched his hand.

“I know you do. You like them spanking you too.” Remus stopped, thumb running over the head of their cock.

Sirius practically  _ whimpered _ , still rolling their hips against his hand. “I do.”

“Do you wanna come, princess?” Remus started to stroke them again.

“Yeah. Please, Daddy.”

“Okay, you can come when you want.” He continued to move his fist just as Sirius liked.

“Ahh, fuck. Yeah--yes Daddy,” Sirius managed to get out, their eyes closing. They tipped their head to the side just a little in a silent plea for his mouth on their neck as they felt their climax building.

“Oh, so good princess, you’re so good.” Remus stroked them through their orgasm. “You’re so beautiful like this.”

Sirius bit their lip hard as they came into his hand, their hips jerking as they shivered. “Fuck, ah, god.”

“Mmm, good.” Remus brought his hand up to their mouth. “Do you wanna lick it off?”

“Yeah,” Sirius panted, even though they were still catching their breath. “Wish it was yours.”

“It’ll have to do, won’t it?” Remus hummed. Sirius just nodded, swirling their tongue as they sucked on his fingers. “Mmm, your mouth is so good, princess.”

Sirius reached behind them and ran their hand over his thigh up to his hip, letting out a satisfied hum at his praise. 

“I love you princess.”

“Love you Daddy,” Sirius murmured as they pulled off his fingers, licking their lips.

“I love you so much. Are you okay?” He pressed a soft kiss to their shoulder.

“Mmhmm.” Sirius sighed, tipping their head onto his shoulder. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I didn’t… I’m sorry if I made you nervous.”

Sirius frowned a little. “I… I just got a little anxious, I think. I couldn’t see you and you didn’t answer me.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve done that before you too. I thought it was okay because you weren’t blindfolded or tied up.” Remus ran his clean hand through their hair.

“I know, I thought so too.” Sirius leaned into the touch, feeling a little bad about their unexpected reaction. “I got it in my head that I had to stay still and if I moved to see if you’re still here then you would be mad at me.”

“I wasn’t though.” He continued to play with their hair. “You could have safeworded.”

“I know, and I would have if I didn’t want to or couldn’t turn around.” Sirius frowned, rolling over to face him. “Would you rather I had safeworded than turned around? I thought that would be better so it didn’t stop things. I felt  _ much _ better after. I could see you, you know?”

“Right, yeah, no that’s right.” Remus seemed unsure about something.

Sirius sighed, cupping his face in their hands. “Remus. It was a moment of me feeling uncomfortable. I am not upset, I don’t feel like you abandoned me or did me wrong. I was just anxious for a moment, but we made it better.”

“I should have known, I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to, I don’t want you feeling that way and I should have known it.”

“It’s  _ okay _ .” Sirius kissed the end of his nose. “Please don’t feel bad about it, Remus. It was a moment, that’s it.”

“Right, right. Do you need anything?”

“You. To cuddle me and let me tell you how fucking fantastic you are. That’s it.”

“It’s my job.” Remus laughed softly then promptly let out a yawn.

“I mean it. You’re amazing. You do this so wonderfully and you always give me what I want. You are just… everything about you is wonderful. You’re  _ so good _ , Remus.”

“You’re wonderful.” Remus kissed their shoulder.

Sirius narrowed their eyes at him. “Are you absorbing my compliments at all or just letting them bounce off your steely exterior?”

“Hmm?” He burrowed a little into his pillows.

“I think that’s the latter.”

Remus rolled his eyes, moving so he could get under the duvet. “You’re the wonderful one, you’re so good.” He wrapped his arms around Sirius after he settled under the covers.

“So are you, though. Please don’t underestimate how much you mean to me, Remus.”

“I’m not underestimating that at all.” He kissed their forehead. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Sirius sighed--he was the master of changing the subject, but they would let him get away with it just this time. At least for the moment. “We are, we’re going to have a baby and you’re going to be an amazing Dad.”

“You’re going to be an amazing parent.” He kissed their cheek. “We’ll deal with that all tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“You’re avoiding. Will you talk to me? Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Remus closed his eyes, grimacing. “I don’t want to say it.”

“Say it, please.” Sirius sat up, biting their lip.

“You won’t say something until you’ve turned the response over in your head for like ten seconds?”

Sirius winced. “Ten seconds.”

“I think I need to take a break from being a Dom for like… a bit? I shouldn’t have done that because I know that you don’t like not seeing or hearing me.”

True to their word, Sirius managed not to burst out with  _ don’t be fucking ridiculous _ and let out a long sigh instead. They counted back from ten, trying to formulate an answer in their head, not jump to conclusions or accusations like Poppy always told them to. “If you feel that way,” they started, trying to be gracious and understanding and not just  _ no, I love you like this _ , “then we can do that, but I really don’t think it’s necessary. I don’t feel like you ignored my limits, or anything like that. I felt a little anxious for like… ten seconds, and then I fixed it.”

Remus opened his eyes. “I think I’d feel better if we took a break. I’m sorry.”

“How do you think ignoring it will fix it or make you feel better about it, caro?” Sirius tried to be as gentle as possible, but they wanted to understand.

“It’ll give me time to think about it.” He shrugged. “I don’t think it’s ignoring it. This should be about you, anyway. I made  _ you _ anxious.”

“Remus.” Sirius sighed, rubbing a hand over their face. “Okay, I’m… right, you know when you’re climbing, and you’re free climbing, and there is a moment where your fingers slip just a little and you get an  _ oh fuck _ feeling where you think you  _ might _ possibly lose your mind, and then you catch yourself and it’s fine?”

“Yeah, but… Sirius, that’s my own body and my own mind. I’m meant to be taking care of you here.”

“Do you get that same feeling when we’re both climbing, when you see me slip?”

“I have you on the belay, I know you’ll be okay because I have you. I’m meant to have you here too.” He explained, rubbing his face.

“You  _ do _ have me. Listen, I’m getting real Karamo from Queer Eye about the metaphors here, but you don’t feel the weight on the belay so much until I slip, right? I notice it, I’m aware of it. You have me, trust that I trust that you have me.”

“I’m aware of it too, Sirius. I put you on the rope, I know it’s there. I tied the knots, I should be more aware here sometimes.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course, but I still don’t want to make you feel anything other than safe.” Remus looked at them, shaking his head.

“I feel safe. Trust me that I’m telling the truth and I don’t feel unsafe with you.” Sirius took his hand, gesturing with their joined hands to show their wedding rings. “I feel the safest when we’re like this. Even when I fuck up, or if things go wrong, it’s still you and me. You have me.”

“I know,” He whispered, giving their hand a squeeze.

Sirius kissed his knuckles, not breaking eye contact. “If you want to take a break, we can. I respect your decision. Don’t put a time frame on it, we can just come back, when you’re ready.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Whatever you need, caro.” Sirius smiled, kissing his hand again. “Although I am still going to paint the pole room tomorrow, regardless.”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course you are. I love you.”

“I love you too. So much. I have never felt more safe and loved than with you, Remus.”

Remus nodded. “Can we sleep? Tomorrow you can finish the pole room and I’ll send Dora that information.”

“That sounds perfect.” Sirius kissed him softly. “Goodnight, caro.”


	4. Chapter 4

A few weeks later, Remus was still hesitant about being a Dom. He really felt like shit after talking to Sirius. It was probably an overreaction because Sirius was being so open and honest about being okay. He still thought that he should have done something about it. Remus knew how Sirius felt about being left and ignored, he just assumed they would be okay. It wasn’t fair to Sirius that Remus could neglect information like that. The anxious part of his brain was telling him he shouldn’t be a Dom because he would just hurt Sirius again.

Outside of Remus wondering when he would be comfortable with going back to their Dom/sub relationship, things were busy. Dora had appointments, they were putting the final touches on the house, and they had so much to do with their jobs. The day for Remus to give his sperm and Dora to have the fertilization procedure came up quickly. Thank  _ god _ he wasn’t feeling sex repulsed like he had been for days before.

Remus was awake before Sirius, somehow, and down having coffee and scrolling through his social media. Snuffles ran down the stairs just a few moments before Remus heard footsteps following him.

“I know, right?” Sirius was clearly speaking to Snuffles. “He’s awake before me, the world’s ending, isn’t it?”

“Stop being dramatic. It happens… sometimes…” Remus rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Very, very rarely.” Sirius came into the kitchen. “Hi caro,” they murmured, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“Hi love.” Remus smiled then kissed their cheek.

They busied themselves pouring coffee, Snuffles trotting around after them. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I slept fine, just woke up early. It’s a big day.” He rested his head on his hand to watch Sirius.

“It is.” Sirius padded over to sit next to him. “How are you feeling about it?”

“Ah weird?” He scrunched his nose. “It’s too bad we don’t live closer to the clinic because the idea of wanking in a room is a bit…”

Sirius smiled over the rim of their coffee cup. “I’m sure there are ways to make it less weird.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus let out a little laugh. “Will they let you in there?”

“I could sneak in,” they said, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t think I’d object to that.” Remus snickered. They hadn’t had sex in weeks in general -- not even the most vanilla sex.

“Didn’t think you would.”

“About nine months from now we could be parents.” He grinned at them.

Sirius bit their lip around a broad smile. “It’s amazing.”

Remus was going to be a dad within a year if it all went right. Sirius was going to be a parent. They were going to have a family. It was overwhelming and so wonderful all at once. He couldn’t wait for it to happen. “It’s so amazing.”

“We’re so lucky.”

“Mmm, so.”

Sirius set their coffee down and held their hand out to him. Remus smiled, taking their hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He squeezed their hand. “I…” Remus frowned a little, trying to decide what he wanted to say to them. They just gave him a reassuring smile, squeezing his hand in return. “You’ve been so understanding lately.” He sighed, trying to piece together exactly what his mind was trying to say. It was so scrambled.

“Of course, you’re my husband and I love you.” Sirius’ smile didn’t fade at all as they rubbed their thumb over his knuckles.

They hadn’t talked about the night that Remus decided he needed a break since it happened. He felt bad because Sirius was working on the pole room by themselves, and it wasn’t going to be used for what they wanted at first. “I… hmm… I know that. Christ, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”

Sirius gave a little chuckle. “Just shut your eyes and blurt it all out.”

“My brain doesn’t work that way!” He put his hand on his forehead with a chuckle.

There was a pause for a moment before Sirius scooted their chair a little closer. “How do you feel about our dynamic right now?”

“I still don’t trust myself with it.”

“Is that a blanket statement across all kinds of scenes and power exchanges, or just specific things?”

Remus rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know…” It was all so complicated in his head, and he knew that it wasn’t. He just tended to blow it all up.

“Okay, that’s okay. Have you had any more thoughts about our conversation from last time? About trust being two-way?”

“You sound like Poppy.” Remus laughed, leaning into them.

Sirius chuckled. “She’s rubbing off on me—she’d be so proud.” They kissed his temple. “Don’t avoid the question.”

“I really don’t know. I know you trust me, but I’m not… I’m still nervous about doing something that will make you anxious.”

“I’m not.” Sirius pulled back enough to smile at him.

“I know you’re not, but I get nervous about what’s going to happen if I do mess up and you do get anxious. I don’t want to ruin where you feel safe.” Remus bit his lip then nodded.

“Well, honestly, I don’t have that safe space at  _ all _ right now, do I? Neither do you have your space to feel fully in control and  _ safe _ yourself.” Sirius glanced away, biting their own lip before they looked back to him. 

That was  _ true _ . They hadn’t been intimate at all, even when Remus was feeling more meh. Normally he would give Sirius something when he was somewhat interested. He hadn’t even watched them get themselves off in weeks. “Yeah, that’s right, but Sirius, won’t I make it worse if I mess it up again?”

“You didn’t mess it up before, Rem. How long have we been doing this?”

“Over a year now.” He frowned because it felt like he messed it up. He was meant to be aware of those triggers and boundaries.

“And this sort of thing has only happened once, in over a year? Of us both being new to this shit? Figuring it out together and where all our limits are? You didn’t mess up. My boundary crept up on me. So far as we knew, if I was tied up or blindfolded I needed you to keep talking or keep contact. I was neither tied up or blindfolded, Remus, so how were you to know?” Sirius kissed his hand again, sitting forward. “This is a joint thing, we are both responsible.”

“I know…” Remus groaned, putting his head on the table. “I do know it’s both of us.”

Remus felt Sirius kiss the top of his head as their hands came up to his shoulders. “It is. Just because I’m the sub doesn’t mean I relinquish  _ all _ my power for real, do I? I could’ve safeworded, and I felt that I didn’t need to.”

“I know you could have, but sometimes I worry that you won’t safeword.” He lifted his head up.

Sirius shifted, ducking down so they were on his eye level. “Have I ever done a thing I didn’t want to? Do you think I would go along with it, or kick and scream?”

“No -- I -- I…Ugh, you do sometimes want to do things to please me.”

“That is true.” Sirius nodded, looking earnest. “I do those things because I enjoy making you happy and pleasing you. I  _ enjoy _ it, which means I want to do it.”

“I know that logically, really.”

“I know you do. And I also know your anxiety isn’t logical. It’s okay. I just want you to know my point of view too.”

“All right,” Remus said with a little smile. “I love you so much and I do want to try again, eventually. I’m just not sure how.”

“I love you too.” Sirius smiled in return, appearing to relax a little. “What if we started with something you  _ know _ is a big yes for both of us?”

Remus shifted a little in his seat. “Maybe? What are you thinking?”

“Well, I could be a little bit of a brat, and you could spank me for it.”

“Maybe.” Remus nodded.

Sirius gave him a smile. “Okay.”

He let out a long breath. “Do you want to make some breakfast?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Let’s see to it then.” 

Remus felt a little better about things talking to Sirius. He knew that he had been avoiding things, but he wasn’t ready to bring it up. He worried what would happen to their relationship if he did. Though, he was glad that Sirius was understanding and didn’t give up on him. Sirius had grown so much in the last few years that they had been together. They were far less reactionary with many things. Remus was really proud. Himself on the other hand… well he had to work a little harder it seemed.

They made their way to the clinic after breakfast, and Remus was starting to feel a bit nervous. It was a big deal, and he thought it was interesting they were putting this on a person who could be sex repulsed. At least today he wasn’t repulsed, but when he closed the door to the room, holding the cup he was meant to wank into, he felt a bit strange.

“Okay, so this is how we’re making a baby,” Remus muttered to himself.

Looking around the room, he wondered how they thought this was a good space for people to get off. It’s was so plain and sterile, it didn’t look much different from the waiting room. Even the wooden chair with the red fabric looked similar to the ones out front.

A knock at the door startled Remus a little, and he was even more surprised when Sirius’ hissed voice came from the other side. “Remus, let me the fuck in.”

He laughed to himself as he cracked opened the door. “Sirius!”

Sirius stepped in and shut the door behind them, locking it again. “Christ. I did that thing we saw in that awful detective show and ‘accidentally’ spilled some shit in the waiting room so they were distracted, then ran in here.” They let out a breath, smiling at Remus. “Hi caro.”

He laughed, “Thank fuck you did. This is not a good place to get off in.” He wrapped his arms around Sirius.

Sirius peered around over his shoulder, grimacing. “Oh, it’s not pretty, is it?”

“Not at all.” He shook his head then pulled back a little.

“Well luckily, I’m here and I can up the prettiness of a room this drab by, ooh, at least 37%.”

“Only 37%?” Remus put his free hand on their hip. “I think far more than that.”

Sirius’ grin widened. “How about 69%?”

“Okay, we can go with 69% even if I think it’s more.” He pressed a kiss to their neck.

“Mm, you do flatter me,” Sirius murmured, bringing their hands up to gently rake their fingers through his hair, just how they knew he liked.

“I do?” He closed his eyes, trying to pretend they were at home, but it smelt so clinical. “This is not the sexy way I thought we’d first have semi-public sex.”

Sirius chuckled. “Me neither, though we can give it our best shot.”

“Right, as much as it pains me, we should probably make it somewhat quick.”

“Oh that does pain you, doesn't it?” Sirius chuckled as they kissed him briefly before taking him by the shoulders and manoeuvring him into the seat in the room.

“It does.” Remus let himself be pushed into the seat.

Sirius stepped between his legs, swaying their hips from side to side. Biting their lip, they hooked their fingers through the hem of their shirt, pulling it up. He reached for their swaying hips with a smirk.

“Oh, this is something I can deal with.” He grinned.

“Oh yeah?” Sirius gave him a look, pulling their shirt up over their head before draping over Remus’ shoulder.

“Yes. The room is much prettier now.”

“I thought so. What percentage do you think we‘re at?” Sirius kept swaying their hips, canting them forward a little as their hands went to their jeans.

“Mmm, about 85%.” Remus grinned, watching them.

“I think we can improve on that,” Sirius murmured, leaning in to kiss him before they straightened up and turned on the spot so they were facing away from him. They shot him a frankly lurid smile over their shoulder before wiggling their jeans from their hips.

Remus let out a low groan, sitting back a little. Sirius was wearing the black lacy underwear that he had bought them for their anniversary. “Christ. It’s about 150% now.”

“I thought it might be.” Sirius wiggled their hips again. “Is this helping at all?”

“Yeah, a lot, princess,” Remus reached out for them.

Sirius bit their lip, looking back at him with wide eyes.

“Come here, Sirius,” he said with a laugh.

“Okay, okay,” Sirius said, laughing themselves as they turned and climbed into his lap.

“Thank you.” Remus grinned again before kissing them, his hand going to their thigh. “How are we going to manage this?”

“I have an idea,” Sirius murmured, kissing him again.

Remus moaned a little into the kiss. “What’s the idea?”

“It involves my mouth, to be specific.”

“I love your mouth.” He nipped at their bottom lip.

“Mm, I know.” Sirius pulled back, looking at him. “Can I go down on you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Remus nodded a little frantically. “Don’t swallow.”

Sirius smiled, slipping from the chair to their knees before him. “I won’t. It’ll be very hard for me, as you know, but I will manage.” Sirius bit their lip as they undid his jeans.

“I know.” He watched them, hand going into their hair. They leaned into his touch, pressing a kiss to his wrist as they took Remus’ cock from his jeans and gave it a slow stroke. “Ah, shit, princess.” He closed his eyes for a moment before looking back down at them.

Sirius kept holding his gaze as they leaned forward, swirling their tongue over his tip as they stroked. Remus’ fingers curled in their hair as he let out a moan that he tried to stifle. “You look so good.” Sirius just smiled in response, taking him into their mouth and sucking lightly.

His hips bucked up a little as he watched Sirius. The whole room around them seemed to melt away and it was them. Sirius held his eye contact, as if they knew how he needed distracting from their surroundings, as they bobbed their head, taking him deeper.

Pleasure was curling in his stomach as Sirius locked eyes with him. The warm feeling of Sirius’ mouth was intoxicating. Sirius hummed, swirling their tongue as they twisted their wrist, doing everything they knew Remus liked. “Fuck, Sirius, you feel so amazing. Ah…” He bit his cheek hard, trying not to be loud.

Remus could see the flicker of satisfaction across Sirius’ face from the praise as they bobbed their head and let out a little moan of their own that resonated through Remus. The feeling unexpectedly sent Remus spinning closer to the edge. “Fuck, I’m gonna come -- Sirius.” He gripped their hair.

Sirius’ eyes slipped shut as they twisted their wrist, tonguing across the head of Remus’ cock.

He came, holding tight to Sirius’ hair, giving himself completely over to Sirius. They stroked him through his climax, only pulling back when Remus sank into the chair. They quickly leaned up and grabbed the cup from Remus’ other hand, spitting neatly into it.

“Did you swallow any?” Remus tried to catch his breath.

Sirius shook their head, wiping their mouth on the back of their hand before they spoke. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Good, need as many as we can get for the most chances, right?” Remus rubbed his eyes, feeling a little light headed.

“Exactly.” Sirius smiled, setting the cup on the small table before leaning in to peck a kiss to his lips.

“You should dress so we can get this to them.” He tucked himself back into his jeans.

“I’m going, I’m going.” Sirius stood up, pulling their jeans on, then their shirt. “We should do the secret agent thing and I’ll leave, then a few minutes later  _ you _ leave.”

“If you want to and if it makes you feel super secret.” He laughed, reaching for the cap.

Sirius snorted a laugh. “Nah, we can be normal, I guess.” They straightened their shirt and ran a hand through their hair. “I’m gonna go find the others and pretend I didn’t sneak in here, alright?”

“Okay, one more kiss.” Remus followed them to the door with the cup in his hand. “Part of our child could potentially be in here.” He gestured to the cup.

Sirius peered into the cup, giving him a look. “Okay that’s part-exciting, part-sort-of-gross.” They leaned in, kissing him again. “Go do what you need to do, get us a baby.”

“You love my come.” Remus kissed them back before they opened the door, feeling very happy the place he needed to drop the cup off was right around the corner.

Sirius gave a dreamy sigh. “I do, I do. Which is why it’s part-exciting because I just spit for the first time, like, ever.”


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius felt just a tiny bit embarrassed as they hurried down the hallway of the clinic, looking for Bill and Fleur. They had just sneaked into Remus’ room and given him a blowjob and spat into a cup and maybe that would end up being their child. They had ducked into the bathroom to make sure they didn’t look so obviously fucked, but they were still sure people somehow  _ knew _ they had done something sordid. 

Refusing to think too much on that, or the fact that Remus had called them princess, which he hadn’t done for weeks, Sirius carried on through to the waiting room.

Thankfully, there were Bill and Fleur, sitting together and chatting. Sirius smiled and made their way over. “What a surprise seeing you two here,” they said with a grin.

Fleur looked up at them with a knowing look. “And where did you go?”

Sirius just shrugged, smiling. “Got a little lost looking for the bathrooms.”

“I’m sure you did.” Bill snickered. “They took Dora back to get her ready. Is Remus on his way back?”

“I presume so.” Sirius sat down, glancing around. They were actually a little nervous for this all to work out, for things to go well. They knew Bill and Fleur, and Dora, were trusting both them and Remus with so much.

“You presume so. What a coincidence Remus is walking back now just after you.” Bill gestured to the hallway, where Remus was walking down, looking a little more tense than usual after just having an orgasm.

Sirius smiled at the sight of him, regardless of how tense he looked, because they loved him so much. They sat up a little straighter, giving Bill a sly look. “Hi caro.”

Fleur just gave a sigh.

“Hi love.” Remus sat down next to them. “It’s very strange that everyone knows what I was just doing, but they said that Dora would be ready to see in about a half hour.”

“It’s a weird feeling, for sure.” Sirius held their hand out for him. 

“That’s good,” Bill said, nodding. “Oh, she did say on the way here that she was going to ask you two if you wanted to hang out this afternoon, the three of you. She’s probably forgotten to mention it to you, right?”

“Yes, she did.” Remus snickered. “That’d be nice, maybe we can go get coffee or something.”

“Yes!” Sirius smiled, feeling quite pleased. “That sounds good.”

Eventually, a nurse came out to retrieve them to go and see Dora. Bill and Fleur went in first, Sirius and Remus giving them a few moments before going in themselves. Dora was sat on the edge of the hospital-style bed, looking as bright as ever.

“Hey! I got your sperm in me!” Dora let out a loud laugh.

Remus flushed. “You do.” He let out a snort of a laugh, going closer to her. “Thank you so much for doing this, Dora.”

“Are you kidding? Of course! I got to give you both this!” Dora sat up, hugging Remus.

Sirius followed him over, laughing at Dora’s outbursts as they hugged her too. 

“I hope it works, you’ll only be behind Fleur by two months!” Remus pulled back from the hug.

“I think it will! I’ve got a good feeling.” She grinned from ear to ear.

“My love, I don’t know if you can  _ tell _ yet, it’s been thirty minutes.” Fleur chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. Bill stood at the foot of it and watched them both with the proudest expression.

“It’s a feeling, Fleur! Like the energy, something Mary would say.” She threw her hands up.

“I’ve got a good feeling too.” Remus grinned even more -- somehow.

“Me too, me too.” Sirius slipped an arm around Remus’ waist, so pleased to see him happy.

He leaned into Sirius. “I’m so excited. Whatever happens, this baby is going to be so loved.”

“So loved.” 

There was a moment’s pause before Dora clapped her hands. “Right! Enough sitting around being wistful about the state of my uterus.” She pointed at Sirius, then Remus. “you two, let’s go get coffee or Mexican food or something.”

“Sounds good, let’s go.” Remus nodded. “What do you fancy, Dora?”

“We could do Mexican for lunch and finish with a coffee,” Sirius said, chuckling at the bright look at Dora’s face.

“Yes! That.” Dora hopped off the bed and turned to her partners. “I’ll see you guys back at home? Have a good date day.”

“We will!” Fleur gave her a quick peck. “Love you, my love.”

“Love you hon,” Dora said, embracing her and then Bill.

“Love you. Enjoy your Mexican coffee.”

Sirius chuckled, watching them with a smile before they looked to Remus and grinned at him. They were going to have a baby.

Soon enough, the three of them were at a Mexican restaurant a short way away from the clinic, having just eaten what arguably might be their weight in various foods. In the middle of the table there was a large plate of churros and some sort of chilli chocolate dip and Sirius was nursing a burn on their finger where they’d dived in with a little too much gusto to have their first bite.

“So then, this poor lass comes up to me and is like,  _ I’m sorry, you don’t know me really, but you’re a friend of Marlene’s, aren’t you, and I thought you should know. _ And she gets this big sad look about her and I’m taking internal bets on what she’s going to say, when she tries to break it to me that Bill is cheating on me with this beautiful blonde girl.” Dora paused in her story to take a bite of churro. “It took everything in me not to laugh in her face, but I just said,  _ yeah, that’s my girlfriend _ .”

“What did she do?” Remus questioned with a grin.

“The look on her face was  _ priceless _ . She thought she’d misheard me or something, and said  _ pardon _ in this strangled voice, so I said,  _ yes, that’s my girlfriend. Isn’t she gorgeous? _ ”

Sirius snorted a laugh into their coffee cup, shaking their head. Dora was just as hot headed and hard to keep up with as people kept telling them  _ they _ were.

“And then when she didn’t say anything, I just said something like,  _ Oh are they dancing without me? Rude,  _ and walked off.”

“That’s fantastic.” Remus dipped the churro into the chocolate. “I’m still amazed at poly relationships. Somewhat… jealous that people are able to feel that much. Not that I’m not happy with Sirius.” He looked wide eyed at them.

“I should bloody hope not,” Sirius said, laughing as they shook their head. “I’m a one man kinda person and you’re the man for me.” 

“Me too, only one person for me and it’s you. But I’m just -- I’m saying that I don’t think I could manage to deal with all that love. I’m glad you have it though.” Remus took a big bite of his churro then chewed, looking a bit thoughtful.

Sirius gave a little frown as they watched him, wondering if he felt as off as they thought he was right now. They put their hand on his thigh beneath the table, squeezing a little as they gave him a reassuring smile. “Any more love than I have already and I think I would be overwhelmed.”

“Oh god you two are disgustingly cute,” Dora said, leaning in to dip a churro in chocolate. 

“Mmmhmm, yeah we are disgusting.” Remus chuckled before finishing his churro.

“We are, and I’m not even sorry.” Sirius grinned, finally feeling brave enough to try another churro without burning their fingers. “Like you, Bill and Fleur aren’t sweetness personified.”

“You guys are more disgusting.” She sounded very stern about it. “But I fucking love them both to pieces.”

“I feel as if our kids are going to be the best of friends, you know?” They said around a mouthful of churro, smiling at Remus again.

“I’m sure they will.” He leaned into Sirius.

“They definitely are. Thick as thieves I reckon.” 

“Oh god, they’re going to be a riot.” Sirius grinned, setting their coffee down. “I’ll grab the cheque and we can go?”

Once they had gathered their things, Sirius and Remus dropped Dora off back at her flat. Remus was quiet as they drove to the house, and as they pulled into the driveway Sirius put their hand on his thigh.

“What’s wrong, caro?”

“I’m excited, I don’t know… thoughtful.” Remus turned the car off.

“Thoughtful about?” Sirius prompted, turning in their seat to look at him.

“I don’t know, you were so quiet today.”

“Was I?” They bit their lip, sighing softly. “I certainly didn’t mean to be… I think I was just letting you take the lead on baby things because I know how excited you are. And… I think, to a point, I was thinking a lot on being a same sex couple and what that means to start a family, you know? But it’s nothing bad.”

“So you’re not regretting things? I was thinking you might because you usually never stop talking.”

Sirius snorted a laugh before they realised how serious Remus was being. “Oh… Remus, no. I’m not regretting  _ anything _ . Not at all.” They reached over and took his hand, bringing it up to kiss his knuckles. “I’m  _ so _ excited to have a baby with you.”

“All right.” Remus let out a long breath. “Good. I was just worried.”

“You’ve been worried about that all day?”

“Ah, yeah.” Remus went to open the door. “You didn’t seem yourself.”

Sirius bit their lip, letting his hand go. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“No, it’s okay, really.” He shook his head. “I’m just in my head right now.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed, opening the door to get out of the car. They wondered for a moment if Remus’ anxiety had gotten a little worse since they hadn’t been leaning into their dynamic. For a while they’d thought what they did in the bedroom was good for both of their mental health, but it was always strange to try and voice why out loud. “Come on, we should celebrate.”

“Okay, I think we have some of that prosecco.” Remus got out of the car.

“Ah, that sounds perfect.” Sirius went ahead to unlock the door, glancing back over their shoulder at him with a smile.

Remus smiled back as he came up the front steps.

“Hi,” Sirius murmured, turning to peck a kiss to his lips before stepping back through the unlocked door and pulling him with them. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus kissed back, following them in.

Sirius tried not to worry about him as they knelt down to greet Snuffles, who came barreling in to see them both with an excited little whoof. He really was in his head at the moment, and Sirius was hatching a plan to try and draw him out of it. “How about, we crack open that prosecco and make a blanket fort? We can watch some rom-com and eat chocolate.”

“Yeah, sure.” Remus went towards the kitchen after kicking his shoes off. He didn’t seem excited by the idea.

“Or we can do something else, if you like?” Sirius sat in the entryway, leaning back a little to watch him go into the kitchen.

“I think the blanket fort is fine.” Remus disappeared to near the fridge, where Sirius couldn’t see.

Sirius scooted over to lean against the door, peering around to the side. “What can I do to get you out of your head, caro?”

“I don’t know.” Remus shut the door to the fridge.

“We could go for a walk with Snuffs whilst it’s still light out?”

“Oh, sure.” Remus was holding the prosecco in his hand. “I’ll put this back and put my shoes back on.”

“It was just a suggestion. We can stay in and drink prosecco but you didn’t seem as enthused by that idea either.”

“Sorry, I’m just not really in the mood for much.” He opened the fridge again to put the bottle away.

“We can do nothing then, that’s okay too.” Sirius stood up and crossed over to him, putting their hand on his arm. “Am I making it better or worse by trying to suggest things? I can just go and finish painting that bit of the bathroom if you’d rather some time alone.”

“Ah, I think alone time would be good. I’ll walk Snuffs while you do that.”

Sirius couldn’t lie, they were a tiny bit sad he had chosen alone time, but they also understood how important it could be. “Alright,” they murmured, leaning closer. “Can I have a kiss?”

Remus leaned in and kissed them softly.

“Love you.”

“I love you too. I won’t be long.” Remus kissed them again before stepping back.

“Okay.” Sirius smiled at him before turning back to go towards the stairs. They bit their lip as they got changed into the sweats they had been painting in but paused in the hallway. They could go and paint the bathroom, or they could finally get around to installing their pole. Dancing felt like something they could do right now to make themselves feel a little better, or at the very least distract them from how they couldn’t make  _ Remus _ feel better.


	6. Chapter 6

Being in his head was something Remus thought he had been working on so well. Poppy had helped him so much, and he knew talking was important, but Remus was having trouble untangling his thoughts enough. He was sure he should have been over the moon today. Dora could be carrying their baby. It made him worried how quiet Sirius was though. He thought that Sirius wouldn’t be able to shut up today, but they went quiet. This made Remus think that Sirius was regretting things.

Thankfully, Sirius wasn’t. They were just being thoughtful themselves. Remus still didn’t feel right. He was anxious over everything, and he figured that he needed to see Poppy sooner than he was meant to now. It wasn’t fair to Sirius that he was acting this way, and this was affecting them in ways that they didn’t need. Sirius deserved him to be open.

Snuffles gave a bark, tugging on his leash to turn around. He probably wanted to go home, they had been on a bit of a longer walk than Remus had meant at first. The last thing that Remus wanted was to be home because he didn’t want to upset Sirius by not talking or not giving them what they needed. It felt to him that he made everything about himself. Sirius being anxious? He turned around to himself not being a good Dom. Sirius being quiet? Obviously ignoring Remus and having regrets about having a baby.

“Okay, buddy, we’re going home.” Remus gave Snuffles a pat then turned back down the street.

Maybe he could do something nice for Sirius by setting up a blanket fort and bringing them prosecco. That wasn’t what they wanted though, they were trying to be nice to Remus. They probably needed a bit of help with the pole, putting it up, he could help with that. Then he could just let them dance all night because they would be so happy about that. Remus could make them a light dinner, seeing as they had a huge lunch. Sirius would hopefully enjoy it.

Shouldn’t things be happier? Dora could be pregnant with their baby. Why did he have to bring things down all the time? Maybe he was still that grumpy bastard of pre-Sirius that people joked he no longer was. Sirius loved him, he knew that, but his brain was being such an arsehole on a day he was really wishing that it wouldn’t be.

By the time he got back to their house, Remus didn’t feel much different. He let Snuffles off his lead then went to the downstairs bathroom, assuming Sirius was there. They weren’t and the place they wanted to paint was still white. Remus frowned then went upstairs, looking for them in their room but they weren’t there either. He found Sirius in the pole room, listening to KP and dancing. They didn’t even realize he was standing in the doorway for a few moments.

Sirius landed on their toes, spinning around and swaying with the music as they did a move Remus couldn’t even begin to describe, all tangled up like a pretzel and still so graceful. He realised their eyes were closed as they moved, lips moving along to the lyrics.

He smiled, deciding not to bother them in their element, and went back to the bedroom to change into something comfortable. He figured that he would paint the bathroom so they didn’t have to do it. So he got the paint and went to work, trying to occupy himself to give Sirius time to dance. They probably needed to clear their head after today.

By the time he finished the bathroom, it was nearly dinner time. He still wasn’t hungry, so Remus snagged his journal from their room first then went back downstairs to write. Poppy always thought it was good that he journaled, so he just wrote out all his thoughts. He poured out everything that he could into the pages, hoping that it would make himself feel better.

“Hey you.” Sirius’ voice came from behind the sofa as they came into the room. “I didn’t realise it had gotten so late…”

“Oh, hey, yeah it’s dinner time. Do you want a salad or something? I’m still kind of full from lunch.” Remus closed the journal and pulled his legs up so Sirius could sit if they wanted. 

“Salad sounds perfect. I’m so full,” they said, skirting around to come and sit beside him on the sofa. They were still in their pole clothes, their hair up in a bun. “I looked out the window once I’d stopped dancing and thought  _ fuck, when did it get so dark? _ then ran down here because I thought you and Snuffs weren’t back yet.”

“Sorry, I came up to the room and you were dancing. I didn’t want to bother you.” Remus set the journal on the table and sat up straighter. He didn’t mean to make them nervous.

Sirius gave a little chuckle. “You did? Damn… I must’ve been in the zone.”

“You were.” He laughed, standing up. “Any salad requests?”

“Ooh, chickpeas, and cherry tomatoes. I’m pretty sure there’s some spinach in the fridge too?”

Remus nodded as he went towards the kitchen door. “Coming right up.”

“I’ll come sit with you. We can break out that prosecco too?” Sirius stood up, stretching their arms above their head for a moment before following.

“Yeah, okay.” Remus held the swinging door open for them.

Sirius sketched a little bow as they stepped through. “Thank you.”

“Mmm, no problem.” He kissed their cheek then went to the fridge.

“Pass me the prosecco and I’ll crack it open?”

Remus did so then went back to pull out everything for their salads. A few moments later there was the pop of a cork and Sirius made a little strangled noise. Remus turned to see them taking a drink from the bottle.

“It fizzed over, and you can’t let prosecco hit the floor,” they said with a grin.

He just shook his head with a smile as he went to work on putting their food together. “Bad luck?”

“Absolutely. Like spilling salt or something.” They padded over and leaned their hip against the counter beside Remus. “Shall we forego glasses?”

“With dinner?” He chuckled as he reached for the cherry tomatoes.

“Well, I  _ guess _ .”

“Okay.” Remus nodded as he put a few tomatoes in his salad.

Sirius was quiet for a moment as they retrieved two glasses and poured prosecco into them. “Alright, here we are,” they hummed, sliding one to Remus before holding theirs up. “To starting a family?”

“Hopefully.” Remus picked up his glass.

“Nah, it’s happening whichever way you look at it, caro. If it doesn’t take this time with Dora, then we just move onto Plan B. There are 26 letters after all.” Sirius smiled, clinking their glass against his.

Remus smiled, clinking back. “To starting a family then.” He took a long sip before setting the glass down to finish making their salad. He was just adding the dressing when he felt Sirius’ arms around his middle and their chin on his shoulder. “It’s done love.” He patted their hand on his stomach.

“Mm, I’m comfy here.”

“Ha, well, we can cuddle on the sofa and eat if you want.”

“That sounds lovely,” they murmured, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before they stepped back, retrieving both their wine glasses.

“Okay.” Remus grabbed two forks then took their bowls before heading into the living room. Sirius was hot on his heels, as was Snuffles, as they all settled on the sofa. “Want to watch something?”

“Sure. Bake Off?”

“Yeah that’s good.” Remus reached for the remote.

Sirius leaned in and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus found the show before smile over at Sirius.

“You know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Even if sometimes I want to personify your anxiety so I can pull it out of you and throttle it.”

Remus let out a sharp laugh at the thought. “If only you could.” He shoved a forkful of salad into his mouth.

Sirius grinned. “You know I so would.”

“Mmm, I wish it were possible.” Remus stabbed his fork into his salad.

“One day, when technology catches up to us.”

“Yeah.” He continued to eat, trying to feel better.

Sirius just rested their head on his shoulder as they finished their last bit of salad. “That was a top notch salad Remus Lupin-Black.”

“Yeah? That good?” He chuckled as he put his bowl down. “It was decent.”

“You need to be kinder to yourself, caro.” Sirius shuffled closer. “Would you let someone say half the things you say about yourself to me? Never mind what you  _ think _ .”

“No, I would never. It’s hard sometimes, I try and most of the time it’s not so bad. Lately, it’s just been shit.”

“I know, I can tell. I love you. So much.”

“I know you do, I love you too.” Remus closed his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Sirius watched him for a moment. “I think I do.”

“What’s that?” He pulled his legs up onto the sofa.

“What we talked about this morning. Not having our safe space… I’m not Poppy, but I’d wager you’re anxious and everything feels out of your control?”

“I’m sure that it’s not helping.” Remus acknowledged, rubbing a hand over his face.

Sirius nodded. “And I’m not saying that that’s the only way to fix how you’re feeling, but acknowledging it will help, won’t it?”

Remus agreed, unsure of what to say now. He did feel like he wasn’t in control.

“So…” Sirius trailed off, sighing. “I wish I could just snap my fingers and take your anxieties away, caro.”

“Me too.” Remus tried to focus on the TV, shifting a little in his seat.

Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek before they slipped from the sofa, gathering up their plates. They disappeared into the kitchen, then came back a moment later with the prosecco to top up their own glass before settling back on the sofa with him.

With a sigh, Remus shuffled down a little and rested his head on Sirius’ lap. He just wanted it to be okay. Sirius didn’t say a thing, just shifted to make it a little more comfortable for him and gently carded their fingers through his hair. It didn’t take long for Remus to fall asleep with his head on Sirius’ lap.

At some point in the night, Sirius got Remus to get upstairs. He was happy to wake up in the bed, and not be curled up on the sofa the next morning. He felt like crap still, but a little better. Squinting, he saw coffee on his nightstand, but didn’t feel like drinking it just yet.

Sirius was sat up in bed, the pillows propped behind them and their hair damp as if they had been in the shower. They glanced over to him almost out of habit, then seemed to realise he was awake. “Morning caro.”

“Morning.” He yawned, closing his eyes again. “Sorry for ruining yesterday.”

Sirius tutted. “You didn’t ruin anything, Rem. Be kind to yourself, hm?”

“We were meant to be having a celebration and I just brought it down last night. Plus, I made you think Snuffs and I were missing or something.”

“You didn’t. I was just worried for you, caro. Tell that anxious creature in your head that it’s wrong.”

Remus groaned, burying his face in the pillow. If only it was that easy, he let out another noise of frustration. A moment later he felt Sirius kiss the top of his head, and the mattress shift as they presumably cuddled down next to him. He turned his head to the side. “Not having that control… I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal.”

Sirius was nearly nose to nose with him, their wet hair tickling his cheek a little. “That’s understandable.”

“I took something you were anxious about and made it about me.” Remus took a deep breath.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, caro. You were anxious because I was anxious--for like, half a second--and felt like you had betrayed my trust, or something. It’s almost fair that my anxieties inform yours because, well, we’re a couple, aren’t we?”

“I know, logically.” He shut his eyes again.

Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Remus would have rolled his eyes if they were open. He didn’t feel like it was something that they should be proud of.

“Proud of you for verbalising what you’re thinking and feeling. Do you think our dynamic had an impact on your anxiety?”

“I guess.” Remus shrugged.

Sirius made a frustrated-sounding noise and smacked Remus on the arm, hard. “Oh my  _ god.  _ Enough of the shrugging! You know I hate you shrugging when we’re trying to have a conversation!”

“Oi!” Remus pushed himself up. “Am I not allowed to ever shrug? I really don’t know!”

“Then say you don’t know! No, you’re never allowed to shrug, again, because it drives me mad.” Sirius sat up, glaring at him.

“You can’t make a rule like that!” He looked at them with a furrowed brow.

“I just did.”

“It doesn’t seem fair.” Remus scoffed, reaching over for his coffee finally.

“Neither is me trying to understand how you’re feeling and you just giving me shrugs in reply.”

“A shrug means I don’t know!” He threw a hand up.

“Oh, so you  _ can _ say those words!”

“I guess I do.” Remus shuffled out of bed. “I’m going to hop in the shower.”

Sirius sighed. “Okay,” they said, sounding a little muffled.

Remus went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He groaned, leaning his head back against the door. How on earth were they supposed to bring a baby into their family? If he couldn’t verbalize his feelings, after over two years, then he’d always have the same argument with Sirius. There was no way that he could properly raise a child. Shit, how could he make such a mistake?


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius stared at the ceiling above the bed, letting out another groan. They hadn’t meant to snap at Remus, but it was so frustrating for them to see him like this and be trying so hard to understand him.

They could hear the shower running in the bathroom and wanted to just walk in there and get straight in the shower and hug Remus so tightly they squeezed all of his anxieties out of him, but it didn’t work like that. Snuffles padded into the bedroom and looked up at Sirius with mournful eyes.

“C’mon then, you spoiled thing,” they said, patting the bed beside them.

Snuffles promptly laid himself in Sirius’ lap and Sirius buried their face in his fur. They really just wanted to help Remus.

After a very long shower, Remus emerged wearing a towel around his waist. He went over to the dresser, not really glancing over at Sirius and Snuffles. Sirius turned their head to watch him, still absently patting Snuffles.

“Hi…”

“Hey, I’m going to make some eggs or something. Do you want any?” Remus rubbed the back of his neck after pulling on his jeans.

Sirius shook their head. “No thanks…” They sat up a little, trying not to dislodge the dog. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“It’s fine, I was being a bastard.” Remus cleared his throat as he got into a shirt. “Sure you not hungry?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay.” Remus nodded then headed out the door of their room. Sirius watched him go then buried their face in Snuffles’ fur again, letting out a big sigh.

They were so worried they had ruined it by snapping at him. They thought they were much better at dealing with confrontation and not being as reactionary as they used to, thought that Poppy might have been proud of them, but they messed up. They just wished they knew how to help Remus better, or understand what he was dealing with so they could make it easier. Certainly snapping at him for shrugging wasn’t going to help.

Sirius knew Remus would be feeling awful, and  _ wanted _ to help, but they just didn’t know how. After two years, they still didn’t understand how to make him feel better. Last time he’d been so upset they had ended up phoning Hope to help, which was clearly a good omen for their relationship.

It was a while later when Sirius had to finally get up to use the bathroom. With a sigh, they dragged themselves out of bed and padded over there, Snuffles still asleep on the bed. Instead of going back to bed though, they convinced themselves to go to the pole room, hoping that dancing, or at the very least  _ stretching _ might make them feel a little better.

It did help, a little, and Sirius paused, panting slightly from the exertion as they stretched again. They grabbed their water from the windowsill and glanced out, pausing when they saw Remus in the garden… gardening? They frowned and set their chin on their palm, watching him.

God, Sirius wanted to run downstairs and hug him and kiss him and tell him he was exactly perfect however he was, they didn’t  _ care _ so long as he was Remus. They didn’t care if he only ever spoke to them in shrugs again, or if he never called them princess for the rest of their lives or sex was a thing of the past, so long as he was here and Sirius could wake up and kiss him good morning and kiss him good night.

Sirius sniffed, refusing to cry over a stupid argument. Refusing to cry when they had only been trying to help Remus, but it was so frustrating to see him so sad, to hear him be so unkind to himself. What if Remus really needed someone kind and understanding and supportive, and instead he got Sirius? They really, absolutely refused to cry.

The doorbell jolted Sirius out of their thoughts and they hastily wiped their eyes before starting down the stairs to where Snuffles was already barking. They gave themselves a quick glance in the mirror--ugh, why was it always so obvious when someone had been crying?--before looking through the peephole.

Richard stood at the door with a smile, holding what  _ looked _ like a garden gnome, but that couldn’t be right, could it? Sirius pulled open the door, hoping the smile they put on was convincing enough. “Hi, Richard.”

“Hello, Sirius, I hope I’m not being a bother on a Saturday!” Richard shifted the gnome in his arms.

“Ah, no no, you’re fine. Come in for a cuppa?”

“I don’t want to be a bother, just wanted to drop this off for your garden. Remus mentioned working on it last time you came for lunch at Hope’s.” He patted the gnome. “I saw this yesterday at the garden center, and thought it was perfect for you.”

Sirius chuckled. “Ha, oh my god… is it… smoking a joint?”

He laughed. “It is! I thought you’d get a kick out of it.”

“Oh, absolutely. Remus will love it. Are you sure you don’t want to come in?”

“No, you should enjoy the day with your husband.” He handed over the gnome. “It’s a beautiful day out, not sure how many more we’ll have of these before the weather realizes it’s fall now.”

Sirius managed another laugh. “Exactly, best make the most of it. Thank you Richard, I’ll get him to text you about the gnome. He’s actually in the garden just now.”

“Oh! Good, I’m glad.”

“Right!” Sirius shifted the gnome to their other arm. “Thank you. Say hi to Hope for us.”

“I will, have a nice day, Sirius.” He smiled, hesitating for a moment then hugged Sirius.

Sirius froze, hugging back briefly as they felt tears spring to their eyes again. They were the worst for that, managing to keep it together until someone hugged them. A smile on their face, they stepped back from the hug after what  _ had _ to be an appropriate amount of time. “Take care.”

Richard frowned a little. “Are you all right?”

“Fine, thank you. It’s just been a long week is all.” Sirius made themselves smile a little wider. “Thank you.”

“Okay, take care.” Richard hesitated again but turned around. He paused again. “I’m not doing the wrong thing by leaving am I?”

Sirius chuckled. “Absolutely not. Thank you again for the gnome, it’s ridiculous and I love it,” they said, stepping back and going to shut the door.

“Whatever’s wrong, it’ll be okay, I’m sure. Spend some time with Remus.”

“Yeah, it’ll be okay. Really, don’t worry. It’s just one of those things.” Sirius smiled, gave a little wave and then shut the door. They didn’t  _ really _ want to go out into the garden, but there was no better place for the gnome at the moment. With a weary sigh, they made their way through the house to the doors into the garden, watching Remus again for a moment.

Remus looked before sitting down on the grass fully, instead of bending. “What is that?”

Sirius smiled again. “It’s a garden gnome smoking a joint. Richard just brought it over.”

“Oh, that’s… nice.” Remus put his head in his hands.

“I thought we could put it on the deck?” Sirius stepped out, trailing over to set the gnome down because it was getting a little heavy now. “What do you think?”

“Yeah, that’s good.” He glanced over, dropping his hands.

Sirius bit their lip. “Can I do anything?”

“No, I’m nearly done for now.”

Sirius nodded again, biting their lip harder to try and stop the tears coming again. “Remus, I’m really sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Sirius.” Remus shook his head.

“I want to make it better for you.”

“You can’t and it’s not your fault.” He looked up at the cloudless sky.

“Okay.” Sirius sniffed again, refusing to wipe their eyes. They wished they could go over and just hug him but they felt like they couldn’t. So instead, they just turned back towards the house.

“Sirius…”

Sirius looked up at Remus’ voice, still biting their lip.

“It’s not your fault,” He said again.

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m going to go back inside.”

“All right,” He practically whispered, looking down at his hands.

Sirius just nodded again, as they turned back and went into the house, deciding to do something like… make tea, or  _ something _ .

At some point, Remus came back in and went right up stairs again. “I’m just washing up again,” He called as he was halfway up.

Sirius didn’t even bother to reply, just sitting at the kitchen table staring blithely at a crossword. Worse, they felt so stupid about being so upset. Remus said it wasn’t their fault, and yet Sirius had spent all day moping and crying and not doing anything useful.

When Remus came back down, he was in a new shirt and his favorite joggers. He sat down next to them at the small table in the kitchen. “Any good clues?”

“Hm?” Sirius looked up, a little surprised. “Oh, no, I don’t think so. I can’t really concentrate.”

“Oh, okay.” Remus sighed and stood up again, going towards the kettle.

Sirius cleared their throat, feeling awful. “What about, magic for a period of time?”

He clicked the kettle on after filling it again. “A spell?”

“Spell!” Sirius counted under their breath, seeing if it fit for a moment. “Ah, yes, god fuck I had such a block I was staring at that for so long.”

“Mmm, it happens.” Remus watched the kettle.

“Yeah.” Sirius sighed, watching him. Everything was so wrong. “Next one is a Byron clue…  _ ere _ . Feel like Reg would appreciate that.”

“I’m sure he would.” He leaned against the counter, back to Sirius. “I don’t know what to do, Sirius.”

Sirius bit their lip harder. “Neither do I. I don’t know how to help.”

“You can’t, and I’m sorry. I don’t… I’ll,” He let out a huff. “We’re supposed to be happier. Dora could be pregnant and look at us.”

“I know.”

“What are you thinking?” Remus asked as the kettle clicked off.

Sirius wasn’t sure if they could say it out loud, or whether it was really what they were thinking, but they could help wondering if things would be better if they just jumped right back into everything. If Remus would feel better, if they would feel better. “I don’t…” They sighed, rubbing a hand over their face. “How fucked up everything feels and how I want to click my fingers and have us both just feel better and let you beat the shit out of me so I don’t have to feel awful about not being able to help you.”

“I know you want to help, but… Sirius,” Remus said with a shake of his head. “I don’t trust myself.”

“I trust you. I trust you with my life.”

“I know you do, but that doesn’t change how I feel.” He filled his mug, staring at the water rising.

“Did you trust yourself when we first tried all of this?” Sirius sniffed again, determined this time not to cry.

“Yeah.”

Dammit, they were hoping that would be a no. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know what to suggest.”

“Okay.” Remus swallowed as he picked up his mug. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. Sirius didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t do their usual trick of getting Remus out of his head with sex, because sex was the problem. Why did they not know how to help him unless it was shagging, for god's sake? What kind of spouse did that make them? “It’s… not though, is it?”

He shook his head. “No. This shouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve blown it all up and made everything worse. I -- I don’t know how to fix it. I always do this.”

“You get stuck in your head. And… and usually I can get you out of it, but I can’t this time because I usually get you out of it with… I don’t know, a fucking blowjob or something and clearly that didn’t work in the clinic yesterday even if you called me princess,” Sirius blurted out, sucking in a breath as they looked away again.

“I know, maybe we’re… we’re done with that part of our relationship?”

Sirius felt selfish to try and demand they keep a hold of it, because it was their safe space and they’d never felt safer than with Remus like that. If Remus didn’t want to… But even trying to imagine never having that safety net of him like that made Sirius tear up again. It wasn’t that they didn’t like vanilla sex, for gods sake, but that the psychological aspect of this, the mental bond they had, was something special.

“Maybe, ye--yeah,” they managed to choke out, their voice so clearly breaking as their shoulders slumped.

“Sirius…” Remus trailed off and they felt his hand on their back. “I’m sorry. I -- maybe we can find someone to give that to you?”

Sirius laughed a humourless laugh, looking up at him. “You’re fucking joking, right?”

“I don’t know, Sirius. I know that you like it and feel safe. If you need that...” He set his mug down. “If I can’t give--”

“Tell me you’re fucking  _ joking _ , Remus,” Sirius said, staring at him incredulously. “Because if you think for a second that I feel safe because I’m getting the shit beaten out of me and not because it’s  _ you _ and you understand me and care for me like no one has ever done before, then you are fucking delusional. If you think that any fucking bastard can make me feel even a fraction like you do, then we have a fucking problem.”

“I’m sorry.” Remus was staring at them with wide eyes.

“You fucking should be,” Sirius said, ignoring their voice breaking again as they shoved at his shoulder, seething. “You fucking should be! I like  _ you _ doing those things, I like the two of us doing it  _ together _ . Not… not just the physical thing, not just whatever fucking happens. You… you…” they scoffed, looking away finally, disbelieving.

“I’m sorry.” He tried again. “I just want you to feel safe.”

“So come back.” Sirius stood up, ignoring the chair scraping back with a clatter. “So get back here and give me my safe space back, because you can say what you want but I  _ know _ you need it too. I know it makes you feel better because we’ve talked about it a thousand times.”

Remus looked at them, his mouth open, but no words were coming out. He had tears in his eyes. Sirius crumbled at that, seeing tears in his eyes. Their shoulders slumped but they couldn’t look away from him.

“Remus…”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around them. “I don’t… I don’t know how…”

Sirius pressed their mouth into his shoulder, circling their arms around his waist to hold on tight. They didn’t even try to stop the sob that came out.

“I want you to feel safe and I feel like I can’t give that to you. I’m sorry.” He sniffled.

“I know you can,” Sirius mumbled, closing their eyes and trying to remember that even if they didn’t have that part of their relationship anymore then he wasn’t going to just  _ leave _ . “I feel like you can. You always have.”

Remus just shook his head, continuing to hold them, rubbing their back.


	8. Chapter 8

Remus hated himself for making Sirius feel this way. The idea that Sirius could get what they needed elsewhere to feel safe was stupid, but he thought it might help. Now Sirius was in pieces and Remus felt even worse than he did when he got home. “If I can’t trust myself, I can’t help you.” He ran their hand over their back.

“This isn’t just about me, Remus,” Sirius mumbled into his shoulder, sniffing. “You get something out of this, too, don’t you? Or you  _ did _ . Unless you’ve just lied about it before. Don’t… don’t turn this on me, please.”

“I didn’t lie. I did feel better. I’m not turning it on you. It’s my own fault, Sirius.” He closed his eyes, trying to not cry.

“It’s  _ both _ of us. I just… don’t go.”

Remus shook his head. It always hurt so much when they argued and Sirius begged him not to go. “Where the fuck am I going? We’re supposed to have a baby. I -- why…”

“I don’t  _ know _ , Remus.”

“I do this all the time, I’m sorry.” He didn’t understand some days how Sirius could even stand him.

“You  _ don’t! _ You… you’re just in your head. Get back here. I trust you, I love you. I need you here.”

“I’m right here, I love you too.” He pulled back a little, trying to think about how to slow it down for a minute. “Why don’t we go take a nap?”

Sirius lifted their head to look at him, their eyes red. “Okay.”

Remus stepped away and picked up his tea, not feeling tired for once. “Come on.”

Without saying anything else, Sirius followed him into the living room, hands in the pockets of their hoodie. Remus sat down, sitting cross-legged, hoping Sirius would just cuddle up. They hesitated for a brief moment, before practically curling up in Remus’ lap. He ran his nails over Sirius’ scalp, unsure of what else to say. Sirius just leaned into him, letting out a soft sigh.

Remus sat drinking his tea, trying to figure out how to fix everything. When he thought Sirius was sleeping he took another deep breath. “I know you trust me, but if I can’t trust myself then how on earth can I do anything to you?” He whispered, still stroking their hair. “I don’t want to lose you, but I just catastrophize every so often when I’m anxious. I don’t know where my confidence went either in the last few weeks. Yesterday when you didn’t talk much at the clinic or lunch, I thought you were wondering how on earth you were going to stay with me or raise a kid when I was being a dick...when I’m taking away a safe place for you… I… I thought maybe you realized it was just too much.” He wiped the tear that escaped after he set his tea aside.

“Then this morning you got so angry because I just didn’t know.” Remus’ voice cracked. “I know I’m a fucking arsehole some days… I… I don’t know why you want to keep doing this with me. I want you to do what you need to do and I can’t give you everything you need, so now you’re so upset…” He trailed off and shook his head.

“Maybe you were right about not wanting a baby before.” He nearly choked on his words. “It won’t be the end of the world if we don’t have a kid. It’s probably better. Maybe…” He sniffled.

“You know that’s not true.” Sirius’ voice startled him, mumbled into his shoulder as they squeezed their arms around his middle.

“It is.” He cleared his throat again.

“I want a family with you,” Sirius said, lifting their head to look at him. “You want to be a Dad, I know you do.”

Remus shook his head. “But what if I can’t… what if you…”

Sirius sat up, shifting a little so they were facing him as they cupped his face in their hands. “I love you. You love me. That’s the thing that matters, isn’t it?” They bit their lip, eyes flickering over his face. “So we make everything work…”

“Making it work isn’t good enough sometimes.” He sniffled once more.

“You  _ do _ give me everything I need, because I just need you.”

“What if it’s not enough?”

“You don’t get to decide that. I do.”

Remus let out a low laugh, not finding it very funny. “You do?” 

“Yes.” Sirius didn’t look as if they were remotely amused. “I get to decide what I want and what I need and whether you are enough. And you are. Regardless of what you do or how you act, you are  _ enough _ . So, please, as your spouse, for god's sake, let my words mean something. You are enough for me. You have always been enough and you will always be enough.”

“I’m sorry.” Remus furrowed his brow. “I trust you and I… I don’t know.”

“I know. Let me know for us both.” Sirius sat up straighter, rubbing their thumb over his jawline as they turned towards him more.

“That’s not fair.” He shook his head.

“How?”

“It’s a two way street. I can’t put it all on you.”

“You’re not putting it on me. I want to take it. I want you to know, because I know.” Sirius lifted their hand to push the curls back from his forehead. 

“I don’t want to put it on you though and I don’t want you to take the burden. It’s not fair to you. I’ve taken away your safe place and I’m blowing this all up.” Remus shifted in his seat.

“It’s not a burden, and it was your safe space too.” Sirius sighed softly, leaning in to kiss Remus’ nose. “I want to help. I want to take those things so you don’t need to shoulder them.”

“You can’t though.” Remus shook his head. “You really can’t even if you said you want to.”

Sirius bit their lip, sitting closer. “Can I kiss you?”

Remus shook his head then sniffed again. He didn’t feel like he deserved a kiss. “I -- no…”

Something passed over Sirius’ face for a moment but they nodded. “Okay.”

It didn’t feel okay. He rubbed their back.

“I need the bathroom,” Sirius mumbled, shifting away. 

“Of course.” Remus watched them slip off the sofa and pad through to the downstairs bathroom, shoulders slumped. “Yeah.”

Remus leaned forward and put his head in his hands. How did he let it get like this? It was like he couldn’t stop himself from slipping away. It wasn’t fair to Sirius at all. It was meant to be the happiest time of his life -- a new house, possibly a baby on the way -- and his brain was just a fucking dick. He was being a fucking dick.

It felt like a long time later, when he heard the bathroom door open, then Sirius’ footsteps. They started up the stairs and Snuffles lifted his head from his bed, looking between Remus and the hallway as if he was wondering what the hell was going on.

After a minute, Remus stood up and went up after Sirius. He needed to fix it, but just  _ couldn’t _ . He needed to at least try. The bedroom door was closed, surprisingly, so he pushed it open.

Sirius was sat on the edge of the bed, looking as if they were packing. Their eyes were red and their shoulders were slumped. They looked up at him, as if caught in the headlights, before smiling a little sadly. 

Remus’ heart felt like his dropped right into his stomach. “Where are you going?” Obviously Remus finally managed to push them away enough to finally want to leave. It was bound to happen.

“I thought it would be a good idea to go to James and Lily’s for a night…” Sirius sniffed, pushing their hair back from their face. “Just for a night, to give you some space.”

Remus shook his head. “No.”

Sirius frowned, pausing in their actions to look up at him again.

“I -- I mean, if you think it will help…” Remus put a hand over his eyes. “I don’t want you to go, but…”

“So tell me not to go.” Sirius’ voice was so soft.

“I don’t control you like that.”

“Tell me not to go.” 

“I don’t want you to go.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Then I’ll stay,” Sirius practically whispered.

“Okay.” Remus crossed over to his side of the bed after wiping a hand over his eyes again. Sirius just watched him, still paused in folding a shirt into their bag. “If you want to stay, okay.”

“Of course I want to stay. I wanted to give you space… I… feel like I’m coming back to you to try again and again today and you just… keep pushing me away.”

Remus sat down heavily on the bed, pulling his legs up. “I know and I can’t stop. It might be better if you did go then. I don’t know how to stop.”

Sirius sniffed. “If I go,” they whispered, “will you want me to come back?”

He nodded, biting his cheek. Of course he wanted them back.  _ Fuck _ , he didn’t want them to go in the first place.

“Just a nod?”

Remus was afraid to open his mouth, everything he said or did today was just completely shitty and not right. He was so shit at making things better. Now it was all finally come to a head.

Sirius watched him for a moment longer before they nodded, almost to themselves, standing up and shoving the rest of the clothes from the bed into the bag.

“I’ll -- I’ll call Dora…” Remus managed to say, not really sure how he was going to explain this all to her. He was going to end up a single dad before she even could tell she was pregnant or not.

They didn’t say anything, just shouldered their bag and walked towards the door, stepping past Snuffles. Remus let out a sob, as if he had been holding it in all day. How was this really  _ it _ ? How could he fuck up so much?

Sirius’ footsteps paused for a moment in the hallway before starting down the stairs.

Snuffles let out a bark, making Remus look up to see him staring at him. He sucked in a breath. If they went, they probably wouldn’t come back, but what if that was what they wanted or needed to do? Remus pushed himself off the bed, still with tears in his eyes, and headed down the stairs. He needed them to stay though.

Sirius was in the hallway, pulling on their shoes.

“Don’t go, don’t go, please.” He sniffed back more tears. “I’m so afraid that -- that this is over because I’m a fucking -- idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Sirius said softly, setting their bag down and closing the gap between them. “You’re not, you’re my best garbage and I love you.”

“Then why do I fuck this up all the time?” Remus shook his head.

“You don’t. We argue, because that’s what happens in relationships, isn’t it?”

“This feels worse.” He ran a hand through his curls.

“It does,” Sirius admitted, sighing softly. “It does.”

“If we’re having a baby, I shouldn’t be doing this and making you feel this way. I don’t feel like I can make you safe, and I can’t make myself feel safe.” He shook his head.

“If we’re having a baby maybe I shouldn’t be so reluctant to give it up? It’s a two-way street, you just said.”

“It is -- it is and I…” He swallowed hard. “I’m the one that is fucking this up. Not you. You try all the time.”

“Fuck ups are a two-way street.”

“Today feels like a one-way street. I mean, this has been weeks and I’ve just let it get worse and worse.” Remus leaned back against the wall.

“Well… this is… this is breaking point, isn't it?” Sirius ran their hands through their hair.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered and closed his eyes.

“Do something, Remus. Please.  _ Anything. _ ”

“I feel like I forget how and I’m so scared…”

Sirius stepped forward, grabbing his hand and putting it on their waist.

Remus just curled his fingers a little. “I made it all go bad.”

“You can make it good again,” Sirius murmured, watching his face as they took his other hand and put it against their cheek, leaning into it.

“I just don’t want you to go. I don’t know if I can do anything?” Remus rubbed his thumb over their cheek bone.

“I won’t go if you don’t want me to. Tell me to stay.”

“Stay.” Remus licked his lips. “I never wanted you to go. Stay.”

“Okay,” Sirius breathed, stepping a little closer.

“What do you need?” Remus asked them.

“You.”

Remus took a deep breath in through his nose. “Okay.”

“You still love me?” Sirius’ eyebrows pitched up for a moment.

“What?! Of course I still love you.” Remus’ stomach twisted.

Sirius nodded, biting their lip as their gaze flickered over Remus’ face.

“I’m always going to love you, no matter what. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I love you.”

Remus nodded, rubbing his thumb over their cheek again, the knot in his stomach untwisting.

“Kiss me?” Sirius asked, barely whispering, their eyes wide.

Trying not to think much, he leaned forward and lightly pressed his lips to Sirius’. They kissed back tentatively, letting out a shaky breath. Remus dropped his hand from their cheek, running it down their back as he deepened the kiss before pulling back a moment later.

Sirius looked at him, their lips still parted a little, as they tightened their grip on his forearm.

“What do you need?” Remus questioned again, holding them tighter.

“Tell me what to do.”

Remus frowned for a second. They  _ needed _ this and  _ wanted  _ it as much as Remus did. Today it didn’t have to be to sex. “Pick your bag up and go unpack it.”

Sirius just nodded, their breath a bit shaky as they plucked up their bag and slid it onto their shoulder.

“Upstairs now, come on.” Remus started for the stairs, letting another breath out.

“Yes,” Sirius murmured after a brief pause, following after him.

Remus swallowed as they walked up the stairs, “Yes…”

Sirius almost missed the next step as their head snapped up to look at him. Remus could practically see the word on their lips. “Yeah? Ye—yes, Daddy.”

“Good… princess.” Remus got to the top step and took Sirius’ hand. They squeezed his hand back, slipping ahead towards the bedroom as they did. He followed them, sitting back down on the bed. “Put everything back nicely.”

Remus watched Sirius’ eyelashes flutter for a moment before they opened their bag and began emptying everything from it. He sat back against the headboard. “Don’t rush, you might miss something.”

They smiled over at him from the dresser, biting their lip. “Of course, Daddy.”

“Good, princess. When you’re done you can put on your favorite collar.” The more he talked, the more confident he felt, the  _ safer _ he felt.

“Yeah?” Sirius paused, looking back at him, watching.

“You keep asking that. Yes.” He tried to be a little firmer.

Sirius slid the dresser drawer shut, their cheeks going a little pink. “Yes Daddy.”

“Thank you princess.” Remus smiled at them. “You’re… you’re listening so well.”

“Thank you.” Sirius seemed to relax a little further as they dug through the top drawer, then pulled out the metal collar Remus had bought them just over a year ago. They almost seemed a little  _ shy _ as they ducked their head to slip it around their neck.

“Pretty princess.” Remus patted the bed. “Come here.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius felt a strange mix of elated and terrified as they clipped the collar around their neck and straightened up. It felt so good to know where they stood with Remus, that even if he was upset with them, he still loved them. Sirius had spent so much of their life not quite knowing what other people wanted from them, having to second guess and get it wrong and be a disappointment or worse, but with Remus, here like this, they felt like they knew exactly what they needed to do, because he would tell them.

“Come cuddle with me.” Remus was still sitting up against the headboard. His eyes were still red from crying.

Sirius nodded, sniffing as they wiped away the last of the tears beneath their eyes before padding over to him, climbing gingerly onto the bed. “Hi…”

Remus reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind their ear. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Sirius murmured, shifting to sit next to him, still on their knees. “I wanna stay here with you… want you to want me to stay.”

“I want you to stay, I don’t want you going anywhere.” He held his arms open. “I never wanted you to leave.”

“Okay.” They moved forward, wrapping their arms around his waist and pressing their face into the crook of his neck, their heart rate finally coming down a little.

“Daddy’s sorry for hurting his princess and making them feel anything but… loved.” Remus kissed the top of their head and held them tight.

Sirius felt something untwist in their chest, taking a deep breath. “I always feel loved with you, Daddy.”

“I don’t think you did today. I don’t think you’ve been feeling safe for weeks because Daddy’s not feeling right.”

“Daddy’s not feeling right because we haven’t been… this.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his neck, just happy that he was talking to them, even if it was third person.

“I’m supposed to be stable and strong but I’ve been so unconfident and afraid. I don’t want to hurt you and I did.” Remus rubbed light circles over their back.

“It’s okay,” they said, closing their eyes as they sank against Remus a little more. They were surprised by their own reaction to this all, but it was just a time for high emotions, wasn’t it?

“It’s not really. I made you feel unsafe and… abandoned?”

Sirius sniffed. “Yeah… yeah, a little. I know it’s… irrational, because you’re not going to leave, but… yeah, abandoned.”

“Suggesting anyone who could do this for you but me was wrong. I’m sorry.” Remus kissed their cheek then nuzzled their neck. “I love you so much, I don’t want you to feel that way. I’ll try to be better.”

“I got upset because… the thought of you being okay with someone else… I want to stay with you.”

“I know, Daddy’s got you princess, I’m not going.” He pressed a little kiss to their neck.

“I want to help.” Sirius pulled back just a little to look at him, their heart still hurting at how red his eyes were. “I want to make it less scary, so you feel stable and…”

“And what?”

They paused, biting their lip. “Just… so you feel better, so you feel stable, and  _ safe _ .”

“I know and I really don’t know what I need.” He frowned.

“When you know, tell me?” Sirius leaned in, pecking a kiss to the end of his nose.

“This is making me feel better.” Remus gave a little smile at the kiss.

They smiled, nudging his nose with theirs. “Good. I love you.”

“I love you.” Remus’ hand came up to play with their hair. “I love this too.”

“Me too. I’m glad you feel better.”

“Do you feel better?”

Sirius nodded, smiling a little more now. “Yes.”

“That’s good princess, I’m so glad. I never want you to be unsafe.”

“You feel better, right Daddy?” They asked, biting their lip. There was a nasty, nagging voice at the back of their head that was concerned Remus was only doing this for them.

“I feel better, yes princess.” Remus kissed their forehead.

Sirius peered at him a moment longer, just to make sure he did, before nodding slightly and leaning into him. “Good.”

“Do you not believe me, princess?”

“I just want to make sure,” they said, swallowing.

“Make sure what? Tell Daddy what you’re thinking, princess.”

“Just make sure that you… you like doing this too. That Daddy’s not just doing this for me.” Sirius glanced down, almost holding their breath.

Remus put his finger under Sirius’ chin and gently pushed up so Sirius was looking at him. “I love doing this too. It makes me feel better.”

Sirius practically melted at the touch, biting their lip around a soft murmur of satisfaction. “Okay… good. Thank you.”

“I thought maybe I’d feel better without it but I don’t. I feel better when I have control.” Remus let out a breath. “I think I spiralled when you didn’t tell me how you felt right away. Then I felt bad because I knew you were anxious, I thought it.”

“I’ll be better at telling you right away when something isn’t right.” Sirius let out a breath too, remembering how anxious it had made them to have Remus not answer them, but how they’d probably handled it wrong.

“It’s a two way street, right? We both could have done something different, I guess. But I could have stopped it.”

“Okay. We’re past it now, right?”

“No, we’re working through it, right?” Remus corrected.

Sirius nodded. “Yes Daddy.”

“I’ve got you.” He pushed their hair back from their face.

They couldn’t help tilting into his touch, letting out a soft sigh. “We have each other?”

“We do.” Remus brushed his hand through their hair. “Always, right?”

“Always.”

Remus smiled softly. “What do you want to do, princess?”

“Can we just watch a movie?”

“Yeah, do you want to make a blanket fort?” He looked even brighter now.

Sirius felt their heart lifting at the look on his face. “Yes please.”

“Okay, come on, princess, let’s do it.” He kissed them softly.

They were working through it. Sirius knew it would take longer than one evening cuddling to help them both feel better again, but they were working on it. In some ways, it felt like they were in that honeymoon period of a new relationship for a week or so, feeling almost clingy and so affectionate to each other. As time went on, work got busier, and Sirius got thinking about Dora more often, whether she had their baby, and how wonderful it would be. 

Sirius and Remus talked often, curled up on the sofa, trying to make a point of checking in with each other, how they could get better. It was painful sometimes, but necessary.

Work, thankfully, was busy, so Sirius was able to get lost in it, so it occupied their mind completely whilst they were at the studio. Today especially was an exciting day because Ascendence was finally getting aerial silks. Sirius had been lobbying for them for over a year, they thought, but the business was finally becoming successful enough to justify it. 

Sirius and Marlene had to stay a little late to make sure the contractors installed them correctly and they knew how to operate and look after them. Once the contractors had left, Sirius stood with their hands on their hips, grinning at the silks. “I’m so fucking excited Marly.”

“Me too!” She hopped a little. “This is awesome!”

“Want a go at them?” Sirius stepped forward, kicking their shoes off. “Or do you need to be home?”

Marlene made a face, looking at her Apple Watch. “I have two minutes.”

“Two. Dorky is that strict?” Sirius glanced over at her then shook their head. “What am I saying, of course she is. Come on then,” they continued, bounding forward. “Two minutes.”

“Okay!” She grabbed onto the silks. “We’re going to dinner tonight. We have plans.”

“Ooh, where are you going?” Sirius swung up onto the second set, glancing across at their friend.

She smirked, climbing up the silks. “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Oh god, you’re disgusting. I don’t wanna know any more.” Sirius rolled their eyes, twisting around. “Although you’ll probably tell me anyway, won’t you? You’re a chronic over-sharer Marlene McKinnon.”

“I mean, we  _ are _ going out to eat. The Foundry, the one you suggested before. Then we’re going to Pussy Town for dessert.” She winked.

Sirius nearly fell from their hold as they burst out laughing. “ _ Pussy Town _ . Christ, Marly.”

“It’s a wonderful place.” Marlene sighed as she let the silks catch her as she twisted out.

“I mean, I prefer the town it’s twinned with, but I know what you mean.” Sirius grinned back through their own laughter.

“Maybe Remus will let you go there tonight.”

“One can only hope,” they replied, spinning a little before they dropped back to the floor.

“You doing better?”

Sirius looked at her for a moment, suddenly serious in the way only Marlene could moments after joking about going to Pussy Town. “Yeah. Better… still not? I’m not sure. But better, much, much better.”

“Dorcas could talk to him.”

“I don’t know if he’d want to… I did think about that, though? He was so concerned about stepping over limits, even though neither of us didn’t even know there  _ was _ a limit there.”

“Eh, it happens.” Marlene shrugged. “They sneak up on us.”

“That’s what I said! But he panicked, didn’t he?”

“Classic Moony.” She hopped off the silks.

“Tell me about it.” Sirius sighed, leaning against the wall. “It’s getting better though.”

“Good, oh, you should do something tonight! Try something with him.” She grinned from ear to ear, going over to get her bag.

“That’s my intention, I just don’t know  _ what _ . I don’t think he’s repulsed today so that’s good.” Sirius stretched their arms above their head, moving to gather their own things up too.

“Just be a brat.”

Sirius chuckled. “Well, they do say stick to what you know.”

“Push him, he likes that you said. Make him Dom the shit out of you.” She practically skipped over to them to kiss them on the cheek. “Have a good rest of the weekend! See you Monday!”

“Ha, alright. Wish me luck.” They kissed her cheek back, hugging her briefly. “Have fun on your trip to Pussy Town.”

“You too! You don’t need luck!” She gave them a big hug. “I think I’m over my two minutes, got to run.”

“You’re so over, go, go, before Dorcas gets mad!”

“I’m going to get the shit beat out of me! Oh well.” Marlene did something weird with her eyebrows then rushed off.

“Bye!”

Sirius laughed to themselves as they gathered the rest of their things before locking up and heading for the bus. Once there, they pulled out their phone to text Remus.

_ On my way home _ 💙

**Can’t wait! How was your day?**

_ Wonderful. We got the silks installed today. They’re *gorgeous* _

**That’s great. I’m surprised you’re not still there on them**

_ Marly and Dorcas had dinner plans _ _   
_ _ And I wanted to get home to you _

**💖💖💖💖** **  
** **I’m glad you’re coming home to see me**

Sirius snapped a quick selfie on the bus, smiling at the thought of being home soon.

_ Image.jpg _ _   
_ _ Me too _ _   
_ _ I missed you today _

**😍😍😍😍😍** **  
** **I’ve missed you too**

_ How has your day been? _

**All right, I was working in the garden.** **  
** **Taking advantage of the weather.**

😍😍😍😍   
_ Sounds perfect _

**I’m cleaning up now. See you in a little**

_ See you soon _

Sirius contented themselves scrolling through Instagram and replying to things on the business account until they reached their stop. Shouldering their bag, they hopped off the bus and walked the short distance to the house before letting themselves in to the sound of Snuffles’ happy barks.

“Hi!”

“Hello!” Remus’ voice sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.

“Hey Snuffs!” Sirius bent down to give him some pets before heading through to the kitchen.

Remus was sitting at the small table in the kitchen with his journal, drinking a beer. “Snuffs missed you.”

Sirius grinned, going over to kiss his cheek. “Snuffs misses me when I go to the bathroom.”

“That is true.” He laughed, closing the journal before kissing them back.

“Mmm, hi. I missed  _ you _ today.”

“I missed you too.” Remus smiled at them. “Want a cider?”

“Mm, please.” Sirius leaned against the table, stretching out the back of their legs.

“Okay, I’ll get it for you my pearl.” He stood up and kissed them on the forehead.

“Thank you.” Sirius hugged him briefly. “Today was long,” they said, slipping into Remus’ vacant seat.

“It was, huh? Especially for a Saturday.” He went to the fridge.

Sirius couldn’t help wolf whistling at Remus as he looked in the fridge, tucking one foot up onto the chair. He chuckled as he shut the door, cider in hand.

“Thank you, caro,” Sirius said, leaning back in the chair.

“You’re welcome, you stole my seat.” He sat down in the other chair, holding out the cider.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, not sounding sorry at all, they were sure. “It was all warm and comfy. Thank you.”

“Ah, okay.” He rolled his eyes, reaching for his beer and the journal.

“It’s nice to see you writing,” Sirius commented, sipping their cider.

“I do it often, now I don’t have to hide it away from you.” Remus tapped his fingers against his beer. Sirius couldn’t really look away from them, tapping absently.

“Mm, good.”

“So, what do you want to do with the rest of the afternoon?”

“Well…” They said, still watching his fingers. “Seeing as you’re here and I’m here.”

“Hmm?”

“If you were able to pull yourself away from journaling for a moment, I bet I could think of something else fun to occupy you.”

“What’s that?” Remus laughed, resting his chin on his hand.

Sirius grinned, putting their hand over his on the beer bottle before bringing it to their lips. Ugh, they didn’t even like beer, but this was a moment too good to pass up. They lingered as they pulled away, the tip of their tongue chasing a line of condensation down the bottle until it got to Remus’ hand.

“What are you doing, princess?” Remus hummed.

“Nothing,” Sirius hummed back, lifting their gaze to watch him as they kissed the back of his fingers.

“Nothing?” He moved his hand back. “What would you like?”

Sirius shifted a little. “Your fingers back.”

“Oh?” Remus smirked.

“Mmhm, yes please, Daddy.” Sirius smiled back, Marlene’s words echoing in their head as they batted their eyelashes a little.


	10. Chapter 10

They were working hard on this aspect of their relationship. Remus was trying to find that comfortable spot again. They hadn’t done a scene, or anything more than some cuddling and Remus praising Sirius. He was a little bossy a couple of times when they got off together, but nothing too much. It still felt a little strange, but a good strange.

“I don’t know, princess, have you been good?” He watched them.

Sirius nodded. “I’m always good, Daddy.”

“You are?”

“For you, always.”

“Mmm, you can be a brat.” He sat back in his chair.

“Yeah?” Sirius leaned forward, putting their hand on his thigh and shifting to the edge of their seat. “That’s not very nice of you Daddy.”

“It’s not? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Remus shifted a little.

Sirius’ gaze flickered over his face, then down to his groin and back up. “Pretty please, Daddy? I want your fingers in my mouth.”

“You do, huh?” Remus licked his lips. They hadn’t really dove in like this in over a month.

“Yeah. I was thinking about them all the way home, how much I love them.” Sirius leaned closer, almost in his lap but not quite. “How I can never decide where I want them most.”

“You always think about them, don’t you princess?” He didn’t move, wondering what Sirius was going to be up to.

“Always,” Sirius breathed, glancing down to Remus’ hands again, their gaze lingering. “How good they taste, how they feel in my mouth or round my cock or in my arse.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus smirked at them.

They let out a soft moan. “Yeah. How Daddy’s fingers always get me so worked up,” they said, as they lifted their own hand to their mouth, sucking on the tip of their index finger. “Mmm, mine are nowhere near as good.”

“I know, you tell me that all the time.” Remus rested his head on his hand again. “You have very nice fingers though.”

Sirius squirmed at the praise, biting their lip. They moved forward, their hand going to Remus’ wrist for support as their lips were millimetres away from his. “I nearly missed my stop thinking about how good Daddy’s fingers feel fucking me, getting me all wet and open.”

“Really?” Remus cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks flush. “Those aren’t good thoughts to have in public, are they?”

“No, Daddy,” Sirius breathed, shaking their head a little. “I couldn’t sit still thinking about it. Whether you’d tie me up to do it, or whether you’d hold still and make me fuck myself on your fingers.”

“Ah, princess, I see. That must have been hard to think about on the bus.”

“Mmhmm,” they hummed, pausing for a moment as their gaze flickered over his face again, lingering on his hand. Their fingers around his wrist crept up a little as their tongue came out to wet their bottom lip. “Not very good of me. How can I make it up to you, Daddy?”

“Go upstairs.” Remus’ reply surprised even himself at the abruptness of it.

Sirius’ innocent little smile turned to a smirk. “Ask nicely.”

“I don’t have to.” Remus reminded them.

“That’s not very nice.”

“I don’t have to be nice.” He pushed his chair back a little. In response, Sirius straightened up, leaning their hips back against the table, still smiling mischievously. 

“Daddy’s have to be nice to their princesses.”

“I am nice to my princess, I would be nicer if they listened.”

Sirius just smiled wider. “Oh no.”

“Oh no? Get upstairs.”

“No.”

“I love you, princess, and I want to treat you nice, get up.” He stood up, holding his hand out to them. Sirius hummed in response, stepping closer to take his hand. Before he could react, they brought his hand up, ducking their head to slide two fingers between their lips.

Remus stepped back again, his fingers sliding from their mouth. “ _ No _ .”

Sirius pouted and shifted their weight as if they were one step away from stamping their foot.

“What were my directions?” He reached for one of their wrists.

They pulled it back, stepping back against the table. “Don’t remember. Too busy thinking about your fingers fucking me.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I know, but I also know that you’re a brat and you’re very smart, so you know what I’ve asked.”

“Something about going somewhere… was it in the living room? Out to the garden?”

“You are being a terrible brat right now.” Remus moved a little closer to them. They pressed back against the table, squirming. “Why would I ask you to go out in the garden?”

“Maybe Daddy wants to fuck me in the garden, put his hand over my mouth so the neighbours don’t hear when he makes me scream.”

Remus tried to keep his face straight because the thought about that sent a shiver a pleasure over him. “Princess, go upstairs.”

“Or,” Sirius carried on, as if they hadn’t heard him, “maybe he wants the neighbours to hear as he fucks me on the deck or on the table or in the grass. Maybe Daddy wants everyone to know who his princess is and how pretty they sound when they’re coming from his perfect cock in their arse.”

He took a deep breath. “I thought you wanted my fingers, princess?”

“Of course. Silly Daddy. You fuck me open with your fingers first, ‘til I’m begging you so loud the neighbours can all hear, because I know you like that, me begging.  _ Then _ , if you want, if you think I’ve begged good enough, you can put your cock in me and I’ll try not to come as soon as you do.”

Remus closed his eyes, thinking about fucking Sirius on a blanket in the grass under the stars one night in the summer. “It’s just a bit too cold to do that now, princess.” He reminded them, trying to keep his cool.

Sirius was grinning ear to ear, watching Remus. “Awww.”

“How about when it’s nicer weather?” Remus tried to move closer to them again. They tried to move back again but they were trapped against the table. “Until then, I need you to go upstairs.”

“You  _ need _ me to go upstairs, Daddy?”

“I do need you to go upstairs.” Remus smirked. “I need to be nice to you, don’t I?”

Sirius looked thoughtful, tapping the corner of their mouth with their forefinger. “What if I didn’t?”

“If you don’t then you’ll be punished.” Remus wrapped a hand around the arm at their side. “Come on, let’s go.”

Sirius dug their heels in, making a noise of surprise. “No.”

“Yes!” Remus pulled them towards the stairs. “Don’t you want me to be nice to you?”

“I do, you know I always do,” Sirius gritted out, tripping as they had no choice but to follow him.

“Then why aren’t you listening?” Remus tugged them closer and wrapped his arms around their middle. They squirmed and tried to push him away.

“I like making you--ah--work for me, Daddy.”

“I know you do.” He held them tighter. “But you need to listen.”

“Make me.”

“I’m trying but you’re being the biggest brat!” Remus snapped then hulled them over his shoulder.

Sirius shrieked, kicking their legs, but they didn’t seem to fight  _ too _ much.

“If you don’t listen, then you’re going to get punished! So you’re going to be punished when we get upstairs.” Climbing the stairs with a wiggling Sirius over his shoulder was so much more difficult than just going down the hallway.

Sirius just gripped onto his shirt, not wiggling as much incase they lost their balance. “M’sorry Daddy.”

“Really?” Remus managed to get them up to the last step before setting Sirius down. “I don’t know if I believe that.”

Sirius at least had the good grace to  _ look _ sorry, pouting a little and looking at him with wide eyes. “I am sorry Daddy.”

He shook his head. “Don’t pout, it won’t work. Go get undressed and put a collar on.”

“Okay.” Sirius pulled their shirt off where they stood, letting it drop to the floor. “Which collar, Daddy?”

“Hmm, one that can get wet.” Remus kissed them softly before stepping into their room. “I’m going to make a bath for you.”

Sirius just nodded, going to the dresser and setting about getting undressed. Remus gave them a look one more time before heading into the bathroom. He set to making the bath just like Sirius liked with some bubbles and their favorite scents. “Sirius, bring the lube we can use in the water.”

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius called back, their voice a little sing-song. 

Remus tested the water before adding in the bubbles. “Thank you princess.”

A few moments later, Sirius appeared in the doorway, naked except for the rope collar they had bought for Valentine’s Day last year, and their  _ tiny _ rainbow shorts.

Remus grinned, staring at their legs. “Princess, why are you wearing shorts when I told you to get undressed?” He wasn’t exactly complaining.

“You like these shorts, and I can get undressed with you watching, can’t I?”

“I  _ love _ those shorts.” Remus knew exactly what they were doing as he sat on the edge of the tub. He liked that there was enough space for him to sit comfortably. “You’re so pretty in them princess.”

Sirius took a few steps forward, peeling away from where they were leaning on the door. “Yeah?” They turned a little, looking down at themselves.

“So, so pretty.” Remus put his hand out after turning off the taps. “Can I have the lube, princess?”

Sirius bit their lip, stepping forward to drop the bottle into his hand. “That bath looks nice.”

Remus took the bottle, nodding and setting it aside. “Is it good enough for my princess?”

“Mm, I think so. Should I get in?” Sirius’ hands went to the waistband of the shorts. Remus could tell they weren’t wearing underwear beneath them.

“Yes, get in princess.” He watched them intently. He wasn’t much interested in getting off, but god they were beautiful. Sirius smiled at him, pushing the shorts down to the floor before stepping out of them. With their seemingly endless grace they stepped into the bath, then sat down with a satisfied sigh. He rubbed a hand over their shoulder then kissed the top of their head. “I’m sure it feels good after working all day.”

“Mhmm.” Sirius leaned their head against the side of the tub. “It does. I’m so achey.”

“Oh, my poor princess.” Remus ran his hand down over their stomach, leaning on the side of the bath.

“I had lots of fun on the silks, though.” Sirius tilted their head to look at him. “All wrapped up in them, hanging upside down.”

“You look so pretty on the silks.” Remus wrapped a hand around their cock. “All tied up and breathless.”

Sirius groaned, lifting their hips up towards his touch. “Yeah? You like me like that.”

“I do, I like when you’re all tied up and breathless. You get all pink and sweaty.” Remus twisted his wrist on the upstroke.

“You like that too. But--ahh--I think you like it best when you’re--you’re the one to get me all breathless and pink and sweaty.”

“I do.” Remus kissed their forehead, still moving his hand along their cock.

Sirius moaned, squirming enough to send some water spilling over the edge as their eyes were glued to Remus’ hand beneath the water. “Fuck, yeah…”

“Yeah?” Remus moved his hand faster, gripping harder. “You like squirming under me and just going to pieces because I make you.”

“Yeah, I do. You--ah--you drive me crazy, Daddy.”

“I know I do princess.” Remus worked his hand faster, water splashing around the movement of his arm. “Do you want to come?”

“Ahh, yeah,” Sirius gasped, their back arching. “Yeah, please.”

“How close are you?” Remus pressed his lips to their neck.

Sirius made a little noise in the back of their throat, their fingers almost scrabbling for grip on the edge of the tub. “Ah, please, I wanna come--”

Remus gave them two more strokes then pulled his hand out of the water. “No, not yet.”

The whine that spilled from Sirius’ lips was wonderful, as their eyes snapped open to look at him, panting.

“ _ Oh _ , what’s the matter princess?” Remus grinned at them, pulling his leg up on to the edge of the bathtub.

Sirius sat up, sloshing more water over the edge. A look of pain and pleasure flickered over their face for a moment. “Daddy--ah--why are you being mean?”

“Because you’re a brat, princess.” Remus carded his hand through their hair. They arched up to his touch, tilting their head a little to kiss his wrist with another whine.

“Ah, please. The water feels so--so good.”

“No.” Remus smiled down at them. “Not yet princess. Just enjoy the water.”


	11. Chapter 11

By the time Remus allowed Sirius to get out of the bath, they felt like they could barely stand. They had lost count of how many times he had brought them to the edge of their climax only to back off, and the heat and movement of the water had been pure torture. When Remus had apparently had enough of that, he’d told them to roll over and took his time fingering them, still not letting them come. Sirius had practically sobbed into their arm at one point, holding still so they didn’t just rut against the bath, else they’d be in more trouble. Sirius had their bottom lip caught between their teeth as they stood, trying to concentrate on  _ anything _ other than how turned on they were.

Remus dried them off with the towel before leading them into the bedroom. “I think you need a spanking, princess, don’t you?”

Sirius’ breath caught in their throat. Oh god, they didn’t think they could handle a spanking with how turned on they were, and yet, they wanted it. “Why, Daddy? I was good, I didn’t come.”

“Because you like it.” Remus sat on the edge of the bed and patted his lap.

“Across your lap?” Sirius could barely stand still, their breathing shallow.

“Yes princess.”

Sirius bit their lip harder as they laid across his lap, pillowing their arms beneath their head. He hummed then ran his hand over their arse for a moment, his rough strong hand felt so nice against them. Then it was gone for a moment before it came down hard against them.

“Ah! Fuck,” Sirius yelped, their hips bucking.

“Stay. Still. Princess.” Each word was punctuated with a hard slap.

They let out a whine, trying to keep still. “I’m--ah--try--trying, Daddy!”

“Are you?” Remus hit them harder.

Sirius bit back a sob, not from the pain but from trying not to come against Remus’ thigh. “Ah, yes--yes. Oh fuck, please--”

Remus stopped hitting them for a moment then pressed a finger into them then another. “Hmm, do you want to fuck Daddy’s fingers?”

“ _ Fuck _ , yes--ah, yes please, Daddy. Please.” Sirius dug their fingers into the sheets, trying not to buck their hips again, trying to will away their insistent climax.

“You can fuck them if you want.” He slapped them with his other hand.

“Ahh, like--like this?” Sirius asked, shifting their weight onto their knees a little so they could lift their hips up towards Remus.

“Yes princess, just like that.” He hit them again.

Another whine spilled from their lips even as they pressed their face into the sheets. “I wanna--I wanna come, Daddy please,” they yelped, canting their hips back to push further onto his fingers.

“Already?” Sirius could  _ hear _ Remus smirking as he hit them again.

_ Already?! _ God, how long had they been doing this? Sirius couldn’t  _ think _ and it was  _ glorious _ . They twisted their fingers harder into the sheets, their thighs shaking a little. “Ah--you feel so good, you feel so good.”

Remus added another finger into them. “Fuck, you feel so good princess. You’re doing so good princess.”

Sirius just moaned in response, lost to the sensation of fucking themselves back onto Remus’ fingers, feeling completely wrought out.

“Come for me princess.” Remus hit them harder.

_ Oh thank fuck. _ Sirius was sure they let out a sob, clenching their eyes shut as they ground against him. They could feel their body tightening around Remus’ fingers as they came against his thigh, seeing stars.

“You’re so good princess, so good.” Remus’ voice sounded far away as they came.

Sirius whimpered, biting their lip, shudders still wracking their body; god, they were still fucking  _ coming _ . Remus rubbed their back with his free hand, coaxing them through their orgasm.

“You’re so beautiful right now. You always are but… god…”

Even despite their orgasm, Sirius’ stomach flipped pleasantly at the praise. They just murmured something into the sheets, their chest heaving still.

Apparently, they spaced out for a moment or two, because Sirius blinked and they were curled up with Remus in bed, under the covers. “Mm, love you,” they murmured, still breathing shallowly.

“I love you too. Are you okay?” Remus kissed their temple.

“Mm, very. Floaty. But good, so good.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re floaty.” He chuckled. “Was there anything you didn’t like?”

Sirius bit their lip, pressing a kiss to his neck. “No, I liked everything.” They swallowed, finally starting to catch their breath. “I um--prefer fucking your fingers in… other positions though, for… better leverage?”

“Okay, I’ll remember that.” Remus ran his hand over their arm. “Anything else?”

“No, nothing. I loved everything.”

“Me too.” Remus kissed them softly. “It’s almost dinner time.”

“Mm, stay here a bit more.” They pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Remus smiled. “I’m all right. I feel… really good, actually.”

Sirius grinned, warmth blooming in their chest. “Anything you didn’t like?”

“No, I loved it. Every bit of it.”

“Favourite bits?”

“The bath, I liked taking care of you then the spanking.” He kissed their shoulder. “What did you like the most?”

“Of course you like spanking me, you sadist,” Sirius mumbled, still feeling a bit  _ drunk _ on it all. “I… um, liked the edging. I liked you not letting me, even if I hated you at the time.”

“I was a little nervous for that. We never really did it before, but I thought you might like it.”

Sirius nodded, wondering if they would ever not be surprised by the things they liked. “Obviously, I liked you spanking me too.”

“Not my fingers?” Remus teased.

Sirius groaned. “All of it.”

Things kept getting better. Sirius and Remus worked on their relationship, checking in with each other and both vowing to be better at communicating. They were gradually getting the house exactly how they wanted it, too, in between working.

Dora still hadn’t gotten in touch with them, and Sirius was dying to hear from her whether or not she was pregnant, though they supposed it would take a while to show on a test. Thankfully, everything was busy enough, and Sirius’ birthday was drawing closer. This year, Remus had foregone the surprise element of their party, because they were having it at their  _ house _ \--that still made Sirius pause and grin--and that would be pretty hard to keep secret, they imagined.

Sirius had gotten home a short time ago and let Snuffles out to run in the garden whilst they tidied up in preparation for the party tomorrow. Just as they went to putting the dishes away their phone rang.

_ Incoming Call from Dora _

“Ah, fuck fuck fuck,” Sirius yelped, setting down a stack of dishes and grabbing their phone. “Dora! Hey!”

“SIRIUS!” She yelled. “Hey!”

“AH! GOOD NEWS?” They felt like they couldn’t breathe with anticipation.

“IS REMUS THERE?”

“AHH, NO! NO HE’S ON HIS WAY HOME FROM WORK, HE’LL BE HOME IN LIKE… LIKE FIVE MINUTES I DON’T KNOW. IS IT GOOD NEWS?”

“YES! I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU BUT I WANTED TO WAIT FOR SURE!”

“YES! OH MY GOD, SO YOU TOOK A TEST? IT’S POSITIVE? WE’RE HAVING A BABY?”

“NOT ONLY A TEST! I WENT TO THE DOCTOR! I’M PREGNANT! OVER A MONTH PREGNANT! ALMOST 2!”

Sirius just shrieked down the phone, pressing their hand over their mouth.

“YOU’RE GOING TO BE A PARENT! SIRIUS!”

“OH MY GOD! DORA! YOU--THANK YOU!” Sirius drew in a breath, leaning against the counter. “Thank you, you’re a fucking star, thank you.”

“I’m so happy for you two!”

“God, me too. Where the fuck is Remus?”

“I don’t know! Do you want me to wait til he gets home to tell him or do you want to go?”

“I don’t know! He shouldn’t be long… Should I get him to phone you back? Christ… Dora, you’re  _ pregnant _ .”

“I’m pregnant. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“I’m so fucking excited.”

“Okay, how about I let you go, so you can tell Remus.” She sounded so excited.

“Yes, yes, he’ll probably call you? Thank you Dora, I love you.”

“Love you too! I’ll be around all night. Bye!” She hung up.

Sirius set their phone down and just stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do besides scream and cry in happiness. It was only a few minutes later when the front door opened. “Hi my pearl! I’m home!”

“Remus!” Sirius went running into the hallway, barely even taking in the sight of him before they tackled him into a hug. “DORA’S PREGNANT!”

“What?” Remus wrapped their arms around them. “What?”

“SHE’S PREGNANT!” Sirius kicked their legs, squealing. “She’s fucking pregnant, she just phoned me!”

“I-- I--...” Remus sniffled, hugging Sirius tighter.

Sirius just smiled, burying their face in his neck and holding onto him.

“I’m going to be a dad, you’re going to be a parent. I -- oh… I…” Remus buried his face in their shirt. “Sirius. It’s really happening…”

“It is,” they said softly, stroking a hand through his hair. “We’re going to be parents. It’s going to be wonderful.”

Remus was quiet for a few moments, Sirius could feel a wet spot on their shoulder. “We should call my mam.”

“We should… oh god, we can tell everyone.” Sirius bit their lip, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I told Dora you might call her back.”

“Yeah, yeah, I…” Remus sniffed again, still holding tight to Sirius.

“I love you.”

“I love you so much.” He let out a little noise.

Sirius cupped his cheek, then slid their hand to the back of his neck. “You alright?”

“I’m so good.” He pulled back, his face full of delight but Remus had tears in his eyes.

“God, we’re gonna have a baby, Remus.” Sirius kissed his cheek, then the other, then his nose, and his lips. “You’re going to be the best Dad.”

This seemed to cause more tears for Remus, who buried his face in their shirt again. “Yeah!”

Sirius just laughed, happiness overflowing as they wrapped their arms around him.

“I don’t know who to call first, Dora or my mam.”

“Dora. Then we can call your mam.”

“Okay,” He said as he pulled back. “Let’s go sit somewhere?”

“Sofa. If you get all teary again it’s better for cuddles.”

“Yes, come on.” Remus took their hand and led them to the sofa. “We’re going to be parents. Oh god! We’re going to be able to do the nursery now.”

“Yes! We can talk themes and make it beautiful. Ah, I’m so happy.”

“Me too.” He plopped down onto the sofa, pulling Sirius with him.

“Call Dora,” Sirius said, tucking themselves into his side.

“Okay.” Remus cleared his throat, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He tapped away then a moment later he had the phone on speaker calling Dora.

“Remus!”

“Dora! You’re pregnant?” He asked so excitedly.

“Yes! Yes! Nearly two months!”

Remus looked to be just bursting. “Really? How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

“Yes!” Dora laughed. “I feel great, aside from the morning sickness and all that shit! I’m so happy, I’ve been bursting thinking I was pregnant but didn’t want to tell you until I knew and everything was 100% okay!”

“Thank you! This is the best gift! Thank you.” He had tears in his eyes again.

“Just so you know,” Sirius said, wrapping their arms around Remus. “He’s been crying since I told him.”

“Aw, Remus. Bless you!” Dora laughed again. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you! Let us know if you need anything, okay?! OH! You know I saw this like pregnancy diary. You like answer different questions each day. Would you want one? I mean, you don’t need to have one. I’m just wondering.” Remus rambled off, leaning into Sirius. They pressed a kiss to his temple, chuckling.

“Oh, you’re such a sap, Christ, Remus. Yes, that sounds so fucking cute. I’ll do it.”

“Really? Okay! I’ll get it!” Remus grinned. “Can we tell everyone? Is that okay?”

“Yes! Can we do it together? I want to be there!”

Sirius gasped, sitting forward. “TOMORROW! At my birthday!”

“YES! THAT’S PERFECT!” Remus sat forward as well.

“YES! We’ll be there of course! Ah! I’m so excited!” Dora  _ sounded _ as if she was grinning.

“Oh god! Okay, we’ll let you go. Rest up!” Remus kissed Sirius’ temple.

“Yes, take care, and please let us know if you need anything.”

“I will! See you tomorrow! Love you both!”

“Bye Dora!”

Sirius grinned as soon as Remus hung up, throwing their arms around his shoulders. He hugged them back, squeezing them so tight. “We have to call my mam. She’ll murder me if I don’t tell her first.”

“Yes! Okay, call her!”

He laughed, pulling back just a bit to call Hope.


	12. Chapter 12

Remus felt like he was shaking as he held on to his phone, which was ringing for his mam. He was going to be a dad. They were going to have a family. Sirius was so excited too. He nearly lost his mind when Sirius came flying out at him when he got home from work. For the last month he had been dying to hear from Dora about if she was pregnant or not. To hear she finally had news and was carrying their baby, he couldn’t help but cry.

“Hello, Remus John. What’s going on?” Hope asked lightly.

Remus took a deep breath. “Mam, we’re going to be having a baby. Our surrogate… she’s pregnant.”

There was silence for a moment before Remus heard Hope inhale sharply. “Wha--Oh! Remus! That’s amazing! Oh!”

“Mam, I’m gonna be a dad! You’re gonna be a grandmother!” He rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder.

Hope sniffled. “Oh, I’m so proud of you! You and Sirius will make the most wonderful parents! I’m going to be a grandma! I’m going to be a really bloody cool grandma!”

“The coolest.” He sniffed as well, feeling tears in his eyes again. “Not a crone like Sirius said.”

“Oi!” Sirius nudged him with their shoulder.

“Absolutely  _ not _ a crone, Sirius!”

Remus laughed, tightening the arm around their waist. “You can’t say anything. We’re going to tell everyone tomorrow.”

“At the party? Oh fantastic.” Hope sounded a bit teary. “Oh I’m so excited.”

He wiped a hand over his wet cheeks. “Yeah! At the party. I’m excited too.”

Sirius kissed his cheek, hugging him tight. “It’s going to be amazing.”

“I’m going to let you two go. I need to get myself together and try to not just blurt it to Richard when we go to dinner tonight!” She chuckled. “I love you both, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Love you too, mam.”

“Love you Hope, bye.”

Remus hung up and tossed his phone aside before tackling Sirius with another hug. “I love you. I’m so fucking happy, Sirius!”

“I love you too! God, I’m so happy, it’s going to be wonderful!”

Remus cuddled up with them, the smile couldn’t be wiped off of his face. He had no clue what to do with himself. There wasn’t much they could do now, was there? They had nine months of waiting… well more like 8ish now. “What are we supposed to do with ourselves?”

Sirius chuckled. “I say we can get the wine out. Party prep? Riotous sex? We gotta just wait for Dora to do her thing.”

“Oh god, I don’t even know what to focus on. Let’s get the wine out, I think!” He finally detached himself from Sirius.

“Wine sounds good.” Sirius grinned, smacking him on the thigh. “Do something other than grin maniacally.”

“I can’t!” He practically hopped to the kitchen. He was so full of energy as he got to the fridge.

“God, you’re adorable!”

“I’m going to be a dad!” He pulled a bottle out of prosecco the fridge, happy to see they had another bottle. 

With the bottle opened, Remus went back into the living room, trying not to hop around or run too much with it. “You’re going to be a parent!” He held his arms out as he got to the living room again.

Sirius laughed, throwing their arms up. “Yes! We’re gonna have a baby! And raise them to be the coolest, most adored child in the world!”

“Yes!” Remus held the bottle out to them. “Oh god, I’m so excited.”

“Me too! Did you get wine glasses?”

“Fuck the glasses.” Remus sat down, sitting down next to them again.

Sirius snorted a laugh. “Ah, I see.”

“A baby, Sirius!” He pulled his legs up. “I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“I can tell!” Sirius plucked the bottle from his hand and took a swig. “Last time I was this jittery you threatened to tie me to my chair.”

“Ha! I did.” Remus laughed loudly.

“Thankfully, I’m not going to try and tie you anywhere.” Sirius had the biggest smile on their face, watching him fondly.

“No, you’d get tickled to hell.” Remus took the bottle.

“Exactly. Besides the fact I know you don’t like being restrained.”

“Well, yes that too.” He took a long sip before pressing a kiss to their lips. Sirius grinned into the kiss, looping their arm around his neck. “Let’s order Dora that diary I saw!”

“Yes!” Sirius laughed again, sitting back on the sofa. “You are so fucking adorable.”

“You’re adorable.” Remus reached for his laptop, where it was on the side table.

“I mean, objectively you are more adorable, because you can’t sit still.”

“Now you know how I feel when you’re the one vibrating out of your skin.” He paused for a moment, looking up at Sirius. “You are excited, right?”

Sirius rolled their eyes. “Of  _ course _ I’m excited! I’m over the fucking moon! It’s going to be amazing, we’re going to be parents!”

Remus knew that he was being ridiculous but every so often it crept up on him that Sirius didn’t want to a kid as much as he wanted. Of course they did, but he was just nervous. “Okay! I know, sorry.” Remus opened his laptop.

“Don’t apologise.” They leaned in and kissed his cheek, nuzzling there for a moment.

“I’m just having a complex.”

“You’re Remus Lupin, of course you are.” They kissed him again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus gave a little sigh into the kiss.

“You’re gonna be a Dad,” Sirius murmured against his lips.

“You’re gonna be a parent.” He groaned. “God, it’s going to be so good.”

Sirius nodded, pulling back to drink the wine. “We’re going to raise them right, aren’t we?”

“Of course, they’re going to get everything you wanted when you were a kid.” Remus smiled at them, pushing their hair back before going back to his laptop.

After buying the diary, Remus and Sirius drank most of the wine and shagged on the sofa before ordering something to eat. He felt delirious in the best sort of way. He and Sirius couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. The fact they were going to be parents was going to be groundbreaking and world changing, but it was going to be okay because they were doing it together.

The next morning they both woke up slightly hungover, so they had a greasy breakfast and plenty of coffee. They chatted about everything they had to get done in the next few months. Once they felt human enough again, they started to get everything together for the party. Remus’ gift was being delivered  _ during  _ the party and it was partly for him, but Sirius was going to enjoy it more than anything.

Soon enough everyone started to filter in, It was much smaller than their housewarming. It was just their found family and Dora, Bill, and Fleur. Everyone was bringing something to eat or drink, and Remus had picked up the cake from the bakery that day. His mam made her lemon slices without the THC, and with the THC, but Remus hid the ones with the THC. He had plans for Sirius later, they didn’t need to get high and they also did not need Reggie being ridiculous.

Remus was bursting to tell everyone, he couldn’t even look at his mam because she was grinning like a madwoman. He pulled Sirius close as Marlene was showing everyone how to do some dance move. Of course not everyone was doing it, but some were. “We need to tell everyone. I’m dying here. I don’t even want to speak to people.”

Sirius wrapped their arms around him, looking out at the group. “Shall I just do it now?”

“ _ Yes!”  _ Remus made eye contact with Dora and Fleur.

“Okay,” Sirius said softly before grabbing their wine glass and a fork meant for cake. “Alright everyone! Can I speak for a minute?”

“Speech!” James hollered from the back of the gathered group of people.

“I’m trying, Potter!”

“ALL RIGHT!” Remus shouted, making everyone fall quiet.

Sirius shot him a grin. “Thank you caro.”

Remus grinned and nodded, not letting go of Sirius. “Go on.”

“So… we have some really exciting big news to share with you all. A few months ago we asked Dora a really big favour, and we were lucky enough for her to be onboard.”

Everyone was staring back at them both with wide eyes and Remus saw his mam was crying.

“I’M PREGNANT THEY’RE HAVING A BABY!” Dora jumped up and Remus couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh god, sorry, I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Yes, Dora’s pregnant!” Remus grinned at her.

Sirius laughed as the whole room gave a cheer, suddenly filled with chattering and screaming. They looked at Remus, grinning ear to ear. He just kissed them again, not sure what else to do with himself. “Happy birthday.” 

Marlene  _ screamed _ at the top of her lungs, it wasn’t even a shriek. Dorcas was just looking at Remus with a nod. His mam was blubbering to Richard about why she was acting so weird yesterday was because she knew. Effy and Monty were already coming to hug them. Alice was bouncing Neville around talking to him, probably about how he was going to have another friend. Peter was jumping up and down. Everyone looked as happy as Remus felt.

James practically barrelled through the group and tackled Sirius into a hug, nearly pulling Remus with them too. “A BABY!”

“Ah! Yes! A baby!” Remus laughed.

“I had a feeling you were going to tell us today!” Mary said from somewhere near them, but Remus was too wrapped up in the hug.

“Bay-bee!” Ro shrieked, giving Auntie Marly a run for her money.

“A baby! Oh my god Harry gets a cousin!” James was blubbering between them now.

Remus patted his shoulder. “Yes mate, that’s happening.”

“I want a hug!” Effy tugged James back and soon Remus and Sirius were being squeezed by Effy.

“Ha! Hi Effy! You’re gonna be a grandma again!” Sirius said, sounding a little muffled.

“Another baby! We’re so excited.” Monty came up and wrapped his arms around the group. “You two are going to be fantastic parents.”

Remus just nodded, trying to breathe because the crush of the hug. Thankfully, they didn’t crush them as long as their son did, but right after his mam was there.

“Remus John,” She started to speak.

“Mam, when you start like that you’re either angry or about to make me cry.” Remus huffed a breath.

Hope gave a watery laugh. “I’m so happy for you, and so,  _ so _ proud.”

“Thank you mam.” Remus sniffled.

“Your father--”

Remus cut her off, shifting back to give her a look. “Mam.”

“No, he would be so happy for you. He  _ is _ so happy for you, dear.” She patted his cheek then turned to Sirius. “And you, you’re going to give this child the best home and love them so much.”

Sirius bit their lip, taking a breath. “I really think we will. I’m going to make up for… all of that.”

“I know you will. You love my son so much, I can’t imagine how much you’re going to love this child.”

Remus wiped the tears that were gathering in his eyes.

Sirius snuffed, hugging Hope hard. “Thank you.”

“Anything you both need, we’re all here for you.” His mam hugged them back as Marlene came over and screamed so loud that Remus was sure he blew an eardrum.

Thankfully, he was not suffering any hearing loss as everyone started to settle down a little. They enjoyed the food that was brought then had cake and gave Sirius their gifts. Just as they were finishing the gifts up, the doorbell rang because Remus had timed everything perfectly.

“Love, why don’t you go get that?” He grinned.

Sirius gave him a small frown as they got up, probably wondering why he had asked them to get the door, before going through to the hallway. He stood up, following Sirius into the entryway.

They were stood at the door, looking more than a little bewildered as they were confronted with the two delivery men and the huge box between them. Sirius glanced back over their shoulder as they started bringing it in, then spotted Remus. “What did you do?”

“Open it!” Remus grinned at them as the delivery men managed to get the box inside.

Sirius trailed around, looking for a name on the box by the looks of it, but the box was blank. They pulled at the tape on one end, unwrapping with the same care they did everything else. “No, but really, what did you do?”

“It’s not that pretty, but we can fix it up.” Remus thought he should warn.


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius bit their lip as they pulled at a piece of tape on the  _ gigantic _ box currently sitting in the hallway. Remus had that look on his face, his planning-a-surprise look, and Sirius was wracking their brains to think about what he might’ve bought that was  _ this big. _

The party was going so well and everyone was  _ so _ excited by the fact that Dora was pregnant. They had been having the most perfect day, like they did every time Remus planned a party, then he had told them to answer the door and now they were faced with  _ this _ . 

“Sirius’ track record opening gifts, we’ll be here for hours,” Lily said, chuckling.

“God, I didn’t think of that.” Remus let out a groan.

“Someone get them a knife,” Dorcas said. 

“Sirius, just rip the damn box.” Marlene huffed.

Sirius grinned to themselves, biting their lip. “I like taking my time opening things alright?”

“Sirius, just open the freaking box!” Peter shouted.

“God, open it, now, Sirius.” Dorcas spoke again.

“Sirius, really, hurry up.” Remus put a hand on their back.

“Fine,” Sirius said, glancing over their shoulder at him before ripping one part of the box back. It was… well, that looked like a  _ piano _ , but that wasn’t right, was it? Wide eyed, Sirius looked back to Remus. “No you didn’t.”

“I may have.” He chuckled.

“Remus!” They gasped, pulling another side of the box back with a rip. “Holy fuck, it’s beautiful.” 

“It’s old, but, I thought you’d like fixing it up.”

“I love it, it’s  _ antique _ .” 

“Oh! I didn’t know you played the piano too, Sirius!” Richard said, peering in, intrigued.

Sirius laughed, grimacing a little. “Oh, no, I don’t.”

“They want to learn.” Remus’ voice was even and cool.

“Remus gonna teach you?” Marlene said, making it sound lurid even if it wasn’t.

“They say I’m a good teacher,” Remus said, still giving nothing away.

“Oh yes, Remus is a really good teacher.” Sirius grinned at Marlene, pulling some more of box apart.

“Yeah, bet he is.” Dorcas snorted a laugh and then James made a weird strangled noise.

“Where on  _ earth _ are you going to put a piano, you two?” Effy said, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

“There’s that space in the living room.” Remus spoke up.

“Yes!” Sirius clapped their hands together. “Can we band together and move it there now?”

“It has wheels, love.” Remus pointed out. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“It does?!” Sirius gasped, pulling the rest of the cardboard away before pressing the little brake by the wheels then began to push it towards the living room. 

“Yes.” Remus snickered, helping them along.

Everyone else had piled in to move furniture out of the way and helping along. 

“You know,” Sirius said, “it’s my birthday, I feel like I should just sit on here and let you all wheel me around.”

“Get on then.” Remus rolled his eyes, but had a fond smile on his face.

Sirius barked out a laugh before bouncing on their toes and hopping up onto the closed lid of the piano. “Oh yeah, this is the life.” Their husband shook his head, wheeling right to the empty spot near the bookshelves. Before stepping back, Remus pressed a kiss to their lips.

“Mm thank you,” Sirius murmured, smiling.

“Welcome, we’ll get it tuned soon enough, okay?”

“Yes, and then you can teach me.”

“Ach, get a room you two,” Peter said, clapping Remus on the shoulder as he walked past.

“I’m sorry I’m happy, in love, married, and about to have a baby, Wormy!” Remus gave him a shove before going to kiss Sirius one more time.

“I will never tire of hearing you say that,” they said, kissing back. “Party game time?”

“Sounds good! Come on!” Remus turned to everyone.

There was another whirlwind of activity as the group launched into their usual gamut of games: charades, some awful rendition of Pictionary, and of course, the cereal box game. The whole evening went amazingly, they all had so much fun.

At one point, Sirius convinced Remus to play the piano, even if it was out of tune. They smiled and wrapped their arms around him and asked very nicely, so thankfully, he relented. Sirius had stood an appropriate distance away whilst watching, so they wouldn’t get too handsy, but sang along with  _ Hey Jude _ along with everyone else, watching Remus’ fingers on the keys. He knew it, too, smirking at Sirius whenever he glanced up. 

By the end of the night Sirius was so ready for everyone to go home, so it was with a smile that they shut the door behind James and Marlene, who were always the last to leave.

“Another successful party?” Remus asked from behind them.

“So successful.” Sirius turned, smiling. “You always throw me the best birthdays.”

“I’m glad, you deserve it.” He held out his hand. “I got you one more thing.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back a laugh. “As well as a bloody piano?”

“I mean, it’s kind of my gift too.” Remus grabbed their hand and started to pull them towards the stairs.

“Mm, okay, okay.” They had an idea what it might be, but perhaps not. Any thoughts they did have disappeared with the sight of Remus’ arse as he climbed the stairs, helped along with the wine they’d had earlier.

“I know that it’s been some time since we did any bondage. I was thinking, maybe we do that tonight?” He asked as they got to the top of the stairs.

Sirius turned to look at him, biting their lip. They had been careful with what they had done in the bedroom since their joint breakdown of sorts, but Remus was apparently up for things tonight. “Yeah, we can do that. I’d like that.”

“Good, I’m glad. I miss it and I want to give you something special tonight.” He came up to the door of the pole room.

“I miss it too…” Sirius watched him, wondering  _ what _ he had planned, because he had that look on his face. “What are you scheming, caro?”

“Take a look at what I did first.” Remus pushed them towards the door.

Sirius pushed open the door to the pole room, reaching in to turn on the lights. The mirrors they had installed before were along one wall, along with the barre. The pole was in the middle of the room, like it was before. But instead of the room being a little bare, it looked fully finished. There was a fainting couch on the opposite wall, next to a large white trunk. There was art on the walls too, photographs of dancers and artwork that was a little more  _ risque _ ; Sirius’ eyes were drawn to the triptych above the couch of the models arms tied behind their back, the knots perfect.

“Oh… Remus… this is…”

“I mean, no one is allowed in here now.” He laughed, going to sit on the couch.

“Absolutely, it’s ours.” Sirius bit their lip, turning slowly. Everything had been finished just wonderfully. “I love all the art… and that trunk? Does that have all our kink things in?”

“Open it!” Remus lounged on the sofa with a little smirk. “The code is the day we started dating.”

Sirius chuckled. “You are such a hopeless romantic.” They knelt down, undoing the lock with a few quick movements. As they tipped the lid back, they saw the trunk had been split into a few sections, because of  _ course _ Remus had it organised all nicely. Their rope was bundled in one section, their toys in another, the various lubes they had in another. Sirius grinned, trailing their fingers over one of the coils of rope. “This is amazing, caro… Though I imagine if we get worked up in the bedroom, I’ll be the one running in here for toys, hm?” They turned to him, so obviously teasing, before shuffling over towards him. 

“Well, I kept some rope in the bedroom and obviously the lube… everything else we’ll have to prepare for.”

“Of course, you think of everything.” Sirius smiled, standing up to sit on the sofa next to him. “Thank you, this is so beautiful. I’m in love, all the artwork, all the organisation.”

“I’m so happy that you love it.” Remus looked up at them. “Why don’t you change into something you want to dance in?”

Sirius grinned. “Oh yeah? Am I dancing for you?”

“Yes.” Remus gave a shrug, a hungry look in his eyes.

“Okay. I’ll be right back, then,” Sirius said, leaning over to kiss Remus quickly before hurrying through to the bedroom. 

They shrugged off their outfit for the party before pulling on a Prince tank top they’d modified into a crop top and a pair of suitably tiny shorts. On a whim, because they were in the pole room after all, they snagged their favourite leather collar--which was getting all nicely worn in--and fastened it around their neck as they crossed back to the pole room.

Remus was thumbing through what looked like some type of zine as he relaxed on the fainting couch. “Oh, hi princess.” He looked up with a grin.

“Hi,” Sirius said, smiling as they shut the door. “What are you looking at?”

“I bought this with some of the artwork because it looked like something you’d like. I mean, I like it too.” He held up the zine towards Sirius.

“Oh?” Sirius stepped forward, taking the zine.  _ Non-Binaries in Knots _ , the title read, and it appeared to be a whole host of artwork of various non-cis people in bondage. “Oh… my god.” They had never seen anything in the rope bondage world move beyond the gender binary, until this. They almost felt a little emotional with it. “Wow. This is amazing.”

“Isn’t it? There’s one in there I really thought of you.” Remus rubbed a hand over their thigh.

“Oh yeah?” Sirius glanced up, flipping back through the zine. They noticed one of a person wearing a gauzy looking piece of lingerie, with longer hair and a beard. Their legs and arms were bound up and they had an almost confrontational look on their face. “Oh, this one? It’s amazing… God I love them all.”

“Ha, yes!” He nodded. “Reminded me of you so much.”

“That’s so flattering.” Sirius closed the zine and set it down on the couch next to Remus. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re so welcome, princess.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to their knee. “Why don’t you dance?”

Sirius smiled, biting their lip as they ran their fingers through his hair. “Put some music on for me?”

“Sure.” Remus took out his phone and a moment later the bluetooth speaker made the noise that it was connected then the music started. “Hope this works.” Sirius recognised the music as the song they had danced to on that first day they met Remus, at the pole competition, the one where they were wearing a collar and cuffs, with those faux-bruises with makeup. 

Sirius smiled, remembering the routine well enough to recreate it, miming their hands being bound together, because they weren’t… yet. They kept eye contact with Remus throughout, like they had done that first time, dancing and twisting, moving to the music like they didn’t even have to  _ think _ about it. There came that moment where they were hanging in an inversion, brought their hand up to touch their mouth, smirking at Remus, before they dropped back down. It felt almost exhilarating to recreate their first meeting, to see how different they were now, how much they had grown together.

“You’re so good at this, princess. You’re amazing and so talented.” Remus smirked back instead of looking on in shock as he did before.

Sirius couldn’t help giving a shiver at the tone of his voice as they twisted around, dancing and moving to the music, sensuously slow. They were torn somewhere between losing themselves to the music and staying present to watch Remus watching them.

“You always amaze me like this.” Remus stood up from the couch.

“I do?” Sirius watched him, setting their feet back on the ground as they turned slowly, smiling.

“Always, I think you always will.” He bent down and picked up a bundle of red rope.

Sirius’ breath hitched, watching him as they kept dancing, a little slower, with less spinning. “I hope so…”

“I don’t have to hope, you will.” Remus walked over towards the pole.

“Oh, good,” Sirius breathed, recognition suddenly flooding through them as they shivered. Their natural instinct when Remus was prowling towards them like that was to press back but the pole was against their spine. Oh, but they knew what he was doing now, reminded of the very first time they had tried this whole power exchange; wanking whilst they described a lurid fantasy to Remus, of him tying them to the pole, having his way with them. “Oh…”

“Oh?” Remus finally reached them, cupping their cheek with his free hand before kissing them soundly. They made a soft noise into the kiss, their hands coming up to Remus’ upper arms, anticipation curling in their stomach with another shudder. His lips moved down their jaw to their neck, nipping and sucking at random spots. Sirius moaned, their fingers digging into his arms as they tipped their head back against the pole, arching a little. God, it was better than they had imagined.

His hands moved down to their wrists, bringing them up to pin them above their head.

Sirius couldn’t stop the whimper that came from their throat, squirming a little. “Fuck…”

“Stay still princess.”

They just nodded, not sure if they could speak with his mouth on their neck and their hands above their head like this. Remus pulled back a little with a smirk on his lips still, he plucked at the hem of their crop top before easing it off and tossing it aside. Then started to bind their hands above their head. They tipped their chin back to watch him work, quick as he knotted the rope around their wrists, his fingers sure and skilled. Sirius bit their lip, trying not to squirm but they were  _ so _ turned on from the idea of this.

“You don’t need to worry about your hands, I need mine for everything else.” He grinned before going back to their neck.

“Ahh, fuck,” Sirius whined, arching forward to press their hips against his. “Ye--yeah?”

Sirius could feel Remus smile against their skin as he started to kiss and bite down their neck and over their shoulders. Sirius squirmed, gasping at a particularly sharp bite. Their eyes flickered open, to the mirrors along the opposite wall. They could see the flush over their skin, their wrists bound, and Remus’ mouth working at their neck, leaving purple and red scattered in his wake.

“You’re going to have so many pretty marks.”

Sirius let out a moan in response. “God, yes, p--please.”


	14. Chapter 14

Remus was a little nervous because they hadn’t done bondage in a long time. Sirius was lost in it though, and they seemed to appreciate what he had done with the pole room. Now they were a mess with hickeys all over them and their tiny shorts hugging their hard cock.

“Wow, you’re so beautiful.” He grinned, staring at Sirius as he held the lube.

Sirius squirmed, twisting their wrists. Their eyes were flickering between Remus’ face and their reflection in the mirror over his shoulder. “Ahh, Remus, please.”

“Who?” Remus raised an eyebrow as he moved closer to them.

“Daddy,” Sirius said instantly, their wide eyes snapping to him.

“What do you want?”

They squirmed again, breathing a little heavily. “I want you to fuck me, Daddy. I  _ need _ Daddy to fuck me, please, please.”

Remus’ breath hitched. “Not yet, princess.” He hooked his fingers over the waistband of their shorts and pulled them down.

Sirius groaned, their hips canting forward a little against the friction. “Please, Daddy, please. I’ll be so good for you, I--I just need you inside me, please.”

“Oh, my poor princess.” He moved back so Sirius couldn’t grind against him as he poured lube onto one hand. Their gaze was fixed on Remus’ hand as he did.

“Please Daddy,” Sirius tried again, shifting their hips from side to side.

“You’re really begging a lot today, aren’t you?” Remus dropped the lube and hiked up one of Sirius’ legs to his waist.

They nodded, bottom lip caught between their teeth as their gaze flickered over him, down to his hand, then back to his face. “Yea--yeah. I need you Daddy, please, you’ve got me so worked up.”

“We still have a long way to go.” Remus pressed a finger against them, raising his other hand to their mouth. He traced his thumb over their bottom lip and as he pressed his finger into Sirius’ entrance, he pushed his thumb into their mouth. Sirius moaned, sucking eagerly on his thumb, the flat of their tongue over the pad, as they shifted their hips, pressing forward a little. Remus could feel their moan against his hand as their eyes flickered back to his face.

He worked his finger in them slowly, moving his thumb against their mouth as well. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

Sirius moaned luxuriously, their eyes fluttering closed. Remus felt them clench around his finger for a moment, bobbing their head a little like they were going down on his hand.

Remus wanted to fuck them now, but he had to wait because he wanted to carry out Sirius’ fantasy. He continued to kiss and bite all across their shoulders as he worked one more then two more fingers into Sirius, who was still working on his thumb. Sirius was moaning softly with every breath now, the vibrations through Remus’ hand, watching Remus raptly. They shifted back a little, tonguing at the pad of Remus’ thumb as they did.

“Can I--please can I come, Daddy?” Sirius said, their voice sounding rough.

“Yeah.” Remus nodded, letting his hand drop from their mouth to wrap around their cock as he continued to move his fingers inside of them.

Sirius whimpered, trying to chase his fingers with their mouth for a moment before sinking back against the pole. It only took Remus two or three strokes before he felt Sirius tensing, their body shuddering as they came into his hand.

Remus smiled at them before he brought his hand up to his own mouth and licked Sirius’ come off of it. Remembering Sirius’ fantasy, he didn’t remove his fingers from inside of them. Sirius let out a moan as they watched him, and Remus wasn’t sure if the way they clenched around him again was at the sight of him licking his hand, or just the aftershocks of their orgasm.

“Ohh, fuck…” they breathed, eyes wide, pupils blown and dark.

He hummed, some of Sirius still on his tongue as he leaned into kiss them. Sirius nearly  _ sobbed _ into the kiss, obviously still sensitive as they hungrily licked into Remus’ mouth, nipping at his bottom lip. Remus slowed the movement of the fingers inside of them, but he did not pull out. Sirius kissed him like he was the air they needed to breathe, their body shifting and squirming against him.

Remus pulled back. “Do you want to come again or should I fuck you, princess? What do you want?” He wasn’t sure if Sirius could handle anymore.

Sirius moaned, their eyes slipping shut for a moment as they licked their lips. “Fuck--ah--fuck me, please Daddy. Please, I want you to come in me, I--ah--I need you to.”

Remus didn’t need much more encouragement. He was so hard that his jeans were nearly painful. As easily as he could, he pulled his fingers out of Sirius then stepped back to get undressed. “God, I can’t wait to fuck you princess.”

They nodded almost frantically, their eyes fixed on Remus as he got undressed. They looked almost obscene, covered in hickeys, their arms bound above their head, unable to stay still. “Yeah, please, please Daddy. I need Daddy to fuck me so hard, please.”

Once Remus was out of his clothes, he went to grab the camera he had set on the small table near the couch. “Just want to make sure you know how pretty you look.”

It was so good, how well Sirius reacted to compliments, Remus thought as he watched them squirm and bite their lip around a moan. “Daddy.”

“You look so good right now.” He snapped a picture before setting the camera aside, barely taking the polaroid that it spat out. “You look so good, I’m so hard for you.”

Sirius’ gaze flickered to Remus’ cock, their lips parting a little. “I want Daddy’s cock in me, please, please.”

“You’re begging so much tonight.” He stepped closer again, taking himself in his hand. He groaned, finally at the feeling of touching himself.

“Daddy, ah, likes me begging,” Sirius said, watching him so closely, still breathing hard. “Please, please Daddy, please fuck me. I know you love how--ah--tight and wet I am for you, just for Daddy, please, please.”

Remus couldn’t take the feeling of desire and pure want anymore, he stepped forward, wrapping Sirius’ leg around his waist again. “I can’t wait to be in you.”

Sirius moaned, pressing their hips forward to try and grind against Remus’ cock, their leg tightening around his waist. “Please, Daddy.” He couldn’t tease himself or Sirius any longer, so he pressed his cock into them.

The feeling of Sirius around him, as he sank into them easily, sent Remus into pure bliss. “Holy fucking shit.” He let out a long moan, trying not to just come right there and then. He had pushed aside his own desire to give Sirius what they wanted. “Oh my god.”

Sirius gave a sharp moan, their head tipping back against the pole as they clenched around him again. “Ah, ahh. Do--do I feel good, Daddy? You li--like being inside me?”

“You feel so good -- ah, so perfect princess. “ Remus took a shaky breath before he started to thrust his hips. Sirius met him for every movement, their leg shaking a little around Remus’ waist. Every thrust made a glorious noise spill from their lips, their body clenching.

He could feel his climax creeping up on him so quickly that he felt dizzy. “Fuck, I’m going to come.” Remus dug his fingers into Sirius’ hips as he fucked them.

Sirius moaned, trying to press against him. “I wanna--come--again, please--wanna--” They licked their lips, whining softly-- “wanna come as Daddy comes in me, please.”

Remus let out a noise that surprised himself. “Yes, yes come -- ah -- shit -- princess…” He felt the climax crash over him after feeling so on edge for what felt like ages. He trembled and tensed as he fucked Sirius through his orgasm. Sirius came only a few seconds after he had given permission, their body around Remus only adding to his orgasm as they gave another beautiful throaty noise.

“Fuck, fuck.” Remus’ hips stuttered, finally calming down a little bit. “Shit.”

Sirius moaned again, sounding completely fucked out. “Fuck.”

_ Somehow _ , Remus untied Sirius and got them to the fainting couch. He could not care any less about the state of them both at the moment. All he cared about was snuggling up to Sirius and making them feel safe. Remus couldn’t do much thinking himself, so he just needed to be there for now.

Sirius curled up in his lap, their arms around his shoulders as they pressed almost sleepy kisses to his neck. “Fuck…”

“Are you okay?” Remus mumbled, rubbing their back.

“Mmm, so good. I--” They gave a satisfied sigh-- “I came so fucking hard.”

“Me too. God, did you actually come the second time?” Remus’ hand went up into their hair.

“Yeah. I came but I think it was… dry, I guess? I was basically just… fucked out the whole time.”

“Oh, have you done that before?” He opened his eyes finally, looking at them.

Sirius bit their lip. “I don’t think so? I basically felt like I was coming the whole time… As soon as I realised what you were doing I was on the edge.”

“Oh wow? So was there anything you didn’t like?”

They were quiet for a moment. “I guess I would’ve liked to last a little longer? Let you finger me a bit more but honestly I was so turned on I think I would’ve cried if you made me wait any longer.”

“I wanted to go longer, but you really were in pieces.” Remus carded his fingers through their hair. “I’m not sure if I could have waited longer myself.”

Sirius chuckled softly, trailing their fingers over his collarbone. “As soon as I realised what you were doing…”

“It was so hot.” He groaned. “Do you need anything or want anything?”

“So hot.” Sirius lifted their head to look at him, smiling softly. “You licked my come off your fingers,” they said, almost sounding smug as they ignored his question.

“I did.” Remus felt himself flush. “I thought you’d like it.”

“I’ve never seen you do that before. I thought I was gonna come again just from that.” 

He laughed. “You do taste good, it’s just not usually my thing.”

Sirius kissed his cheek. “I know, I like it enough for both of us.” They turned a little, resting their head on his shoulder and looking at the mirror across the room. “I love this.”

“I was so worried you’d come in here the last two days. I installed a key lock on the door so you couldn’t get in, but you didn’t even try.” Remus snorted a laugh.

“I was too busy with work, if I came home and even looked at a pole I think I’d scream, honestly.” Sirius smiled. “It’s beautiful, all the artwork, that photograph is beautiful. And this couch? Right opposite the mirrors.”

“I’m glad you love it. It’s a good playroom, right?”

“It’s perfect. And that trunk is amazing. It has all our toys in it?”

Remus yawned, “Good. It has everything, yeah. We can buy more toys, it’s a bit empty.”

Sirius gave a snicker, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Oh sure, that’s a reason to buy more toys.”

“Mmm, absolutely, not because I like them and not because I like using them on you.” He kissed their forehead. “Should we clean up and go cuddle in bed?”

“Absolutely not, not because Daddy is a sadist and his princess is a masochist.” Sirius grinned, looping their arms around his shoulders. “Yes, bed sounds nice.”

“You gotta get up first though, my love.” He poked them. “I’m too melty to carry you.”

Sirius groaned but practically poured themselves off the sofa. “I’m melty too. I’m… Christ, I can’t believe how hot that was. If that’s what acting out a fantasy is like, then we need to talk about if you have one.”

Remus hummed, not too sure he really had one. He never really thought of himself in situations that he and Sirius didn’t talk about. “Hmm.” He managed to stand up even though his entire body felt boneless.

Sirius started towards the door and Remus noticed a faint line of bruising against their spine along with the hickeys on the top of their shoulders. “You must have some filthy fantasy in the back of that brain.”

“I feel like we’ve done everything filthy that I could think of? I don’t know.” He led them to the bathroom after admiring their bruises for a moment.

“If you think of anything, you gotta share. That was… I’m gonna dream about that for years.”

“That was fucking good.” Remus groaned as they got to the bathroom.

As he went to cleaning them both up, Remus tried to think about what his deepest fantasy was. They had done so much that Remus had thought about but pushed away in the past. He was so safe here with Sirius, that it was ridiculous that he thought he didn’t need this space anymore.

While brushing his teeth Remus remembered the night at the hotel in New York. “Oh… I think I thought of something.” He stood up straight, the realization washing over him.

Sirius was perched on the edge of the bathtub, brushing their teeth and still looking completely spaced out. “Huh? What?”

“A fantasy.” Remus clarified as he leaned against the sink, toothbrush in hand. He was flushing just thinking about it.

“Yeah?” Sirius bumped him aside with their hip so they could lean over the sink. “What is it?”

“We don’t have to do it, obviously. But… but… Like, coming home and finding you with someone and I -- I fuck you just to make sure you remember who Daddy is and you fuck the other person.” Remus rambled off, not looking at Sirius.


	15. Chapter 15

Sirius was pretty sure they had toothpaste running down their chin but they couldn’t lift their hand to wipe it away as they stared at Remus, his words echoing in their head. 

_ I find you with someone and I fuck you just to make sure you remember who Daddy is. _

They opened and closed their mouth for a moment before looking up at him. “Holy fuck.”

Remus grimaced a little. “I know you wouldn’t cheat or anything and obviously we wouldn’t have to do this.”

“That sounds so fucking hot,” Sirius said emphatically, the words tripping out of their mouth as they managed to wipe the toothpaste away and put their toothbrush down. “ _ Fuck. _ ”

He relaxed, finally setting his toothbrush down. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, fucking hell… tell me more, what happens? Am I fucking them already and you come in and haul me off of them? Details, Remus,” Sirius said, straightening up and stepping over to him.

Remus made a face then laughed. “I don’t know, come home from work and you’re… maybe they’re going down on you or you’re fucking them? I’m not sure. But you’re both doing something in our bed.” He swallowed hard.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, grabbing Remus’ hand and tugging him towards the bedroom. “Maybe they’re going down on me, I’d like fucking them too though.”

“Well you two would stop whatever it was when I walked in and I would haul you up and snog you and ask you what you’re doing.” Remus let himself be pulled.

Sirius smiled, imagining the idea as they went towards the dresser, taking their collar off. “Would I be bratty or would I be really sorry?”

“Really sorry and calling me Daddy and everything and begging for me to fuck you instead.”

“Mmm yeah, begging you like I did just now?” Sirius threw pyjama bottoms to Remus, pulling their own on.

“Yeah, I loved that.” Remus grabbed the bottoms before they hit him. “You’d beg and I’d make you fuck them first and I’d tell you how to do it.”

Sirius could imagine it so easily, fucking someone with Remus nearby, him telling them how to do it, how fast or hard, whether they could come. “Yeah, I’d fuck them good?”

“Mmm, nice and hard and I’d… mm, I think I’d stop you before either of you came.”

“Of course you would.” Sirius chuckled as they padded back to the bed.

“Then I’d make them finger you.” He got under the covers. “I’d tell them how to do it. Then I would fuck you and they would suck your cock.”

“Yeah. I would do whatever you asked and be begging you to, hm? Calling you Daddy in front of them.”

“Yeah and I’d let you come then you’d have to sit on your knees while we came on you.”

Sirius bit their lip around a soft moan, feeling their stomach flip at the idea. “Yeah,” they said softly, their voice a little weak. “Fuck.”

“I mean, it’s a nice fantasy, but I’m not sure if it would ever happen.”

“We can make it happen, if you wanted it to. If it’s anything like how I felt just now, then it’s gonna be fucking amazing.”

Remus looked at them with wide eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, tucking their legs under the covers and running a hand through their hair. “Yeah, if you wanted. If we found someone who wanted to, you know? I… like the sound of you… reminding me who’s I am, you know? Marking your territory.”

“It wouldn’t make you feel… I don’t know, you’re always worried about me thinking bad of you.”

Sirius bit their lip. He had a point. “I think… if you weren’t  _ mad _ at me, if you just found it hot and wanted me for it, you know? I would be sad if you were angry at me, even if it was just roleplay.”

“No, I would think it was hot.” Remus moved over to cuddle with them. “I wouldn’t be angry with you.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “And if… like, the other person would have to be, nice? And if you… you know, I’d want you to be almost… protective… and like, possessive?”

“Yeah, of course.” Remus nodded, pressing a kiss to their shoulder.

“We can think about it. If someone comes up?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea princess.” He yawned. “I think it’s time for bed. Did you have a good night?”

“Mmm, such a good night. Thank you so much. I love you Daddy.”

“I love you too princess.” He paused. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

Sirius grinned, their heart feeling warm. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

Remus kissed their cheek then settled down. Sirius fell asleep not much longer after him.

The time between Sirius’ birthday and Christmas always seemed to rush by, and like always, it did that year too. Work was busy and they and Remus had fallen into a more comfortable place with their relationship. Everything seemed wonderful. They were both fawning over Dora, making sure she wanted for nothing. Remus was still beside himself, on some kind of baby Cloud Nine, and Sirius was more and more in love than ever.

Christmas appeared, and Sirius and Remus were hosting Hope, Richard, Regulus, Hestia and Benjy for Christmas Eve. Remus had gotten it into his head that they needed to be wonderful hosts, so he was in the kitchen, attempting to tackle some kind of food. Sirius was tidying the living room, humming Christmas carols.

“Sirius? Did you set the table?” Remus called out as there was a bit of a clatter. “Bugger.”

Sirius chuckled to themselves. “Yes, I’ve set it… Do you need a hand, caro?”

“No! I’m good, just dropped something.” He replied as the doorbell rang.

“Alright, alright. I got the door!” Sirius set down their cider bottle, going for the door as Snuffles gave his standard doorbell bark.

“Thank you!” Remus yelled back then swore under his breath.

Sirius was still laughing as they pulled open the door to Richard and Hope. “Hi you two! Happy Christmas Eve!”

“Hello Sirius!” Hope wrapped her arms around Sirius as soon as the door was open. “Happy Christmas Eve!”

“We’re so excited.” Richard was smiling over Hope’s shoulder.

“We are too! Remus is in the kitchen, concocting something!” Sirius stepped back, herding Snuffles back. “Come in, come in.”

“Oh, does he need any help?” Hope went in towards the kitchen without waiting for an answer. “Remus John!”

Sirius chuckled. “Well, he  _ said _ he didn’t.” They rolled their eyes after a moment. “Wine, Richard? Or shall we start at the whisky?”

“Wine for now. Though, I do know Remus bought some of that maple whiskey.” Richard was holding a large pot. “I’ve the mulled wine.”

“Oh, of course. We can’t miss out on the mulled wine. If you want to brave the kitchen you can stick it on in there to reheat?”

“I guess I should.” He laughed then headed in the direction of the kitchen as Sirius could hear the muted voices of Hope and Remus.

Sirius followed, lingering in the doorway to watch the chaos in the kitchen. Remus looked more than a little harried, with Hope flittering around him like a moth to a flame. “You alright, caro?”

“I was fine before my  _ mother _ came in here to change everything.” He threw a hand up as Richard set the pot on the stove and turned the burner on.

“I’m not changing everything! I’m just saying it will taste better if you add a little--”

“I’m trying to do this myself.” Remus huffed as Richard made a face then grabbed Sirius’ shoulder. 

“Say, did you fix up that piano yet?”

“Ah, yes! We got it tuned! It’s perfect, sound-wise, but it wants a little aesthetic fixing.”  _ Sure _ , they thought,  _ we’ve also shagged on it a good few times. _ They smiled at Richard before catching the strained look on his face. “Ah, come and see? We can talk about my plans for it!”

“Yes!”

“MAM! Really! I appreciate the--”

“Remus John, you know the trick to this is--”

“Let’s go!” Sirius ducked out of the door, going towards the living room and the piano in the corner. “God,” they said when they were sitting on the stool, “those two are a handful in the kitchen.”

“I try my best to keep out of the way of Hope while cooking. I love cooking, but she’s got it in her mind that she’s got the right way to go about everything. I love her, but…” He shook his head.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! THAT’S NOT HOW I WANT TO MAKE THE POTATOES!” Remus yelled from the kitchen.

Sirius grimaced. “Soooo…” they carried on, opening the lid of the piano. “Let’s just ignore that?”

“YES BUT THE--”

“MAM!”

“It’s probably for the best.” Richard laughed. “They’re very much alike I think.”

“Oh, so so much.” Sirius chuckled. “So, it’s all in tune, but I’m thinking of renovating it a little. I sort of want to go really nouveau with it and paint it a matte colour, you know?”

“Oh that’d be great. I love painting, you know? You should do some little pop on it with maybe your wall color.” Richard looked around. “Or silver, you’ve some silver accents.”

“Ah! That is such a good idea! Silver accents sound good… maybe like a dark teal base?”

“That would be nice, I think.” He nodded.

Sirius tilted their head, looking at the piano. “It definitely needs sanding down and repainting with  _ something _ , doesn’t it.”

“Ha, yes it does. If you ever need a hand, let me know. The retired life can be boring at times.”

“Oh, I will. It can be my project before the studio opens again in the new year maybe. We can tackle it then?”

“That sounds wonderful.” He agreed as the doorbell rang again.

“I GOT IT!” Remus called out then came out of the swinging door from the kitchen. “I fucking got it.”

“Remus John!”

Sirius stifled a laugh into their hand, giving Richard a look. “No more cooking though, right?”

“Ha, I’m not commenting on this argument.” Richard whispered as Remus made it for the front door.

“Probably a good idea,” Sirius agreed, grimacing. “That’s Reg, Hes and Benjy I reckon.”

“Maybe they can calm things down a bit.” Richard stood up.

“Richard! Why don’t you come pour the wine for everyone!” Hope called out.

He shot Sirius a look. “Coming!”

Sirius laughed, getting up and heading to the door to greet the others as they heard Remus open the door.

“Happy Christmas Eve!” Hestia greeted as she hugged Remus and Reggie was giving Snuffles love.

“Hi!” Sirius said, hugging Reggie as soon as he stood up from hugging Snuffles. “How are you?”

Benjy greeted them with a sneeze. “Hi! Happy Christmas Eve!”

“Hey, are you sick?” Remus asked after letting go of Hestia.

“Ugh, a little, but I’m alright.” Benjy waved a hand before Sirius gave him a quick hug.

“Want a drink?” Remus asked, throwing an arm around Regulus.

“Yes! Beer?”

Sirius laughed, going back through to the living room, absolutely avoiding the kitchen. Benjy, bless him, went straight for the sofa. Remus went over and gave Sirius a hug. “Pretty please go into the kitchen?” He whispered to them before turning to the others. “Hes, Ben, drinks?”

“Yes, caro,” Sirius murmured back, smiling. “Yeah, beer for you Reg? And you, caro?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a glass of wine?” Hes said, sitting down with her arm around Benjy’s shoulders. “What about you love?”

Benjy sighed, looking tired. “Yeah, wine sounds good.”

“Wine, please.” He kissed their cheek.

Sirius nodded, heading into the kitchen. It looked a little like carnage in there, with Hope in a flurry of action. Thankfully, Richard was at the stove, tending to the mulled wine. “I’ve come for mulled wine, do you need anything?”

Richard gave him a bit of a pleading look. “How many glasses, Sirius?”

“You know dear, why don’t you tell Remus to come back here?” Hope asked them.

“Oh, he’s showing Reg the bookshelves, I think Hope,” Sirius said, before looking to Richard. “I can do it if you like, Richard? I think Hes wanted to pick your brains about finding an allotment.”

“Really? Fabulous, I’ll go chat with her. Thank you, Sirius!” He grinned.

Sirius gave him a grin before setting about pouring mulled wine. “You want mulled wine, Hope?”

“Yes, dear, I’d love some.” She smiled, looking into the oven. “I’m just trying to help Remus, he’s being stubborn.”

“I know you are,” Sirius said, not wanting to get into the argument too much as they went about mulled wine. “But Remus also really likes cooking, you know?”

“I know, I was just trying to help him. He doesn’t need me much anymore, does he?” Hope sounded a bit teary.

Sirius paused, looking over their shoulder to her. “Oh, no, Hope, he will always need you, you’re his mam!” They set the glasses down and turned to her. “He’s always gonna be your son.”

She turned around, looking as teary as she sounded. “It’s not that I’m not happy for him and you… I thought I’d always host him for Christmas Eve and now you both have a house and you’re going to have a baby. He doesn’t even need me to make the potatoes any more.”

“That’s not how it is at all,” they said, going over to hug her tightly. “He loves you very much.”

“I know, I’m just being silly.” She shook her head, hugging them back.

“It’s not silly, not at all.” 

The door swung open a second later. “Oh, what’s wrong?” Remus’ voice sounded full of concern.

“Nothing caro,” Sirius said, patting Hope on the shoulder before they pulled back. “We’re good.”

“Okay… I came to help with the wine. Do, ah, do you need any help mam?”

“I’ll go and take these glasses out,” Sirius said, wanting to give Remus a moment with his mam. 

“No, dear, I don’t.” She spoke softly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.” Remus cleared his throat. “I’m just trying to make sure it’s nice night for everyone.”

Sirius lingered, giving Remus a reassuring smile. They were  _ so _ proud of him for bringing things up and apologising, and facing his  _ feelings _ .

“It’s okay, I understand, dear.” Hope was smiling. “You are making a nice night for everyone. I was just trying to give you a hand.”

“Think about how good the evening will go if you work together?” Sirius said with a little wry smile.

“Right, I’m sorry again, mam.”

“It’s okay, Remus, I’m sorry too for taking over.” She hugged him tight. “Sirius is right, let’s finish the dinner, hmm?”

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

Sirius watched, filled with happiness at how Remus was handling everything. They took a few glasses of mulled wine out to the living room, passing them out to the three there.


	16. Chapter 16

Even though Remus felt a bit crazy at the start of the night, Christmas Eve ended up being perfect. Well… once he apologized to his mother fighting with her about the potatoes. He knew that she was just trying to help, and when he came into the kitchen and saw Sirius hugging her, he felt terrible. So, they ended up working together to make the best meal. Everyone seemed to enjoy it -- even Ben who couldn’t stop sniffling, sneezing and coughing. Really the man looked terrible.

After dinner they watched Love, Actually and most of them shared a joint. Once Reggie got too giggly, Hestia hustled him and Ben home. Hope and Richard stayed behind to help clean up. When they left, Sirius and Remus went straight to bed, thinking about how they were going to have a wonderful Christmas at the Potter’s.

Waking up, Remus felt  _ terrible. _ He had the chills and Remus was completely stuffy. “Sirius?” He rubbed his eyes, feeling as if his head was stuffed full of cotton.

Sirius groaned, still tucked up asleep, which was not like them at all. They snuffled and lifted their head from the pillows. “Yeah? Shit.”

“ _ Benjy. _ ” Remus huffed, reaching for his phone. “I think I have a fever.”

“Mm?” Sirius huddled closer, they were freezing.

“I’m gonna get the thermometer, okay?” He yawned and saw it was fairly early, but they were meant to leave sooner than later.

“Mmkay. I’m gonna kill Benjy.”

“He’s going to be murdered once I can think straight.” Remus finally willed himself out of bed to walk towards their bathroom. What a great Christmas, spending it sick in bed.

Once he came out of the bathroom, with the thermometer he fell into bed with another groan. Just going the few feet was enough to take all the energy out of him. “When we kill Ben, how should we do it?”

“Slowly,” Sirius croaked before they coughed into the pillow.

“Mmm. Here, take your temp.” He crawled up the bed and held the thermometer out.

“You are sick too, Remus,” Sirius said, rolling onto their side and grabbing the thermometer to stick in their mouth.

“Take care of my princess, even when sick.” Remus yawned and got under the covers again once Sirius had the thermometer in their mouth.

They rolled their eyes, waiting for it to beep before they looked at it, squinting a little. “Oh my god, why are my eyes so blurry. Not only am I dying, I’m gonna need glasses, Remus, I’m getting old.”

“You’re not old. Gimme.” He took it from them. 38.9. “Oh yep. Sick. Fever.”

Sirius groaned again. “Oh god. What about you?”

Remus rubbed his face then reset the thermometer before putting it in his mouth.  _ God _ , all he wanted to do was go to sleep. His eyes sprang back open when it beeped again, finding he was at 39.1. “Death.”

“Oh, yep. We’re dead.”

“Rest in peace us.” Remus set aside the thermometer then closed his eyes again.

Sirius coughed again. “Yeah… we’re gonna have to cancel with the Potters, aren’t we?”

“Oh shit, yeah.” He patted his hand around for his phone. “Don’t want them to find our sick bodies.”

“I’ll call Effy,” Sirius croaked, their hand flopping out onto the nightstand to grab their phone. 

“Thank you princess. Do you need me to get anything?” He sneezed.

“No, no. I’m good.” Sirius hit call then put it on loudspeaker. There were a few rings before Effy picked up.

“Hello darlings!”

“Hi Effy,” Sirius said, sounding so stuffy.

“Hi Eff.” Remus shuffled closer to Sirius.

“Oh no, you two do not sound like you’re doing okay. What’s the matter?”

Remus closed his eyes, resting his head on Sirius’ chest. “We’re sick.”

“Benjy was ill when they came over last night and has spread it to us, apparently. So--” Sirius broke off to sneeze-- “I think we’re gonna have to cancel.”

“I’m calling Regulus and telling them to stay home as well. Why don’t you two rest and drink lots of fluids?”

Remus sighed because fluids were very far away.

“That involves getting out of bed, Eff,” Sirius groaned, curling up. “Maybe we’ll sleep a bit longer then we’ll make it out of bed.”

“Okay, I’m a little worried about you both. Do you need anything?” She questioned, her voice was full of concern.

“We’re okay,” Sirius said, sounding more and more tired.

“Okay, sleep. Take care you two. Merry Christmas.”

Remus drifted off to sleep before the call even ended, at least he thought. Everything was warm and he was just so tired. His dreams were full was very strange things that he could hardly remember when he opened his eyes.

“Sirius?” Remus mumbled, sitting up, feeling a little woozy as he did.

Sirius was propped against some pillows, drinking water. “Mm, hi. I made it out of bed.”

“You did?” Remus settled back against his pillows. “That’s good.”

“I got water for you, too,” Sirius mumbled, leaning over to pass him the glass.

“Oh, thank you princess.” He kissed their temple and took the water.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like crap. Merry Christmas.” He laughed, which sent him into a coughing fit. “How about you?”

“Ha!” Sirius coughed a bit too, trying not to get caught up. “Merry Christmas, caro.”

“We’re so miserable.” Remus sipped his water then set it aside before picking up his phone. He found a text from Dora.

**_Merry Christmas! I think we have a tiny bump._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Image.jpg_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_The little one is the size of a lime!_

This time Remus starting coughing before he could even speak. Instead he shoved his phone at Sirius.

“Aw!” They managed to croak out before they too started coughing, throwing a hand up in frustration.

He reached for his water again then cleared his throat. “We’re gonna have a baby this time next year.” Remus stared at the picture of the barely there bump. He was going to be a  _ dad _ . The realization hit him every so often, and he was sure that it was going to happen more and more now that Dora was going to start showing and they were going to go do scans and such.

“Next Christmas we’ll have a little one here too… They’re going to be so spoiled.”

Remus grinned then set the phone aside. “I know that her bump is probably because she ate a lot last night, but… it feels more real, you know?” He sniffled. “Hopefully next year we won’t have the plague.”

Sirius smiled in lieu of the laugh he knew they’d rather give. “I think it’s a bump. And next year I’m going to go wild with the hand sanitiser.”

“Next year no one is allowed in the house whilst ill. What was Ben thinking!?” Remus complained reached for a tissue. Now his nose was running, and he wasn’t sure what was worse: stuffiness or a runny nose.

“He probably wasn’t. Next year if anyone tries to see the baby and they’ve got a sniffle I’m going to refuse.”

“We’ll build us a nice safe bubble.” He blew his nose.

“Ugh. Next year.”

The rest of the time between Christmas and New Years was spent nursing the flu. Remus and Sirius took turns taking care of one another. Effy stopped by with soup and some ginger ale for them. She insisted on looking after the two for a little while, and Remus and Sirius managed to get to the sofa downstairs. They were both rather pathetic in Remus’ opinion. At least they had one another and sappy movies and plenty of fluids.

By the time January came around, Remus and Sirius were both feeling more like themselves. They were spending more time with Dora, and she was starting to show. It was all so exciting, especially when she insisted the come along to her first ultrasound a couple weeks after the New Year. Remus was glad it was scheduled before he went away for a comp.

“I’m so excited. This is exciting.” Dora was babbling in the backseat of the car where she was sitting with Fleur. Bill had to work.

Remus focused on the road even more than normal because he was very aware of the two pregnant women in the backseat. “I can’t wait!”

“I’m so excited. Thank you for letting us come along,” Sirius said, twisted around in their seat to talk to the women.

“It’s your baby! Of course you’re coming long.”

“She is right. I could have stayed home.” Fleur chuckled.

“You want to see though, I know you do, hon!” Dora laughed, kissing Fleur’s cheek.

“Remus will cry, obviously.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he pulled into the carpark and choose the first, closest space. “I’m sorry I’m showing emotion for my unborn child. I thought you liked me expressing my emotions.” He joked and Fleur laughed before she got out of the car.

“I  _ love _ you expressing your emotions, caro.” Sirius got out too, skirting around with Dora towards the doors.

Remus got out and went after them. He grabbed Sirius’ hand and they went inside. The office was nice and calming, it felt almost like a spa. Remus was reminded of Poppy’s office for some reason. Dora was called back first to talk to the doctor and such, and Fleur went with her. Soon enough Sirius and Remus were allowed back to the room.

“Okay, we’re gonna see our baby.” Remus looked at Sirius with wide eyes as they followed the nurse.

Sirius looked as nervous as he’d probably ever seen them, but they squeezed his hand. “Yeah… oh god.”

Remus took a deep breath as they went into the room. Dora was sitting with a blanket over her legs and her shirt pulled up so her belly was showing. “Oh, you must be the parents I keep hearing about.” The doctor smiled at them. She was standing with a bottle in her hand. “Ready to see your kid?”

“Yeah.” He moved closer, pulling Sirius with him. He took Dora’s free hand and stood near the little screen. Fleur was on the other side of the bed.

“Hey Dor,” Sirius said, smiling at her before looking back to the screen.

About a minute later, the screen flicked on and there was an black and white image on the screen. The doctor moved the instrument on Dora’s stomach and soon an image emerged. “There’s your baby!”

Remus stared at the monitor with his mouth hanging open. “Oh my god.”

“Oh…” Sirius made a noise, squeezing his hand. “Fucking hell.”

“Wow!” Dora let out a gasp.

“It’s amazing, my love.”

Remus couldn’t take his eyes off the screen as he squeezed Sirius’ hand again. “That’s our baby.”

“Sure is. Would you like some prints?” The doctor asked.

“Yes!” They all answered at once.

“Dora… you… that’s our baby,” Sirius said, sounding as if they were almost in shock.

Remus looked at Sirius, grinning with tears streaming down his face.

“Oh, Rem,” they said, turning to hug him tightly.

“It’s wonderful.” Remus wrapped his arms around them, letting out another long breath. Sirius hugged him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“This is mad,” Dora said. “That’s a baby and it’s… you know, there.” She gestured to her belly, laughing.

“It is a weird feeling, isn’t it?” Fleur questioned and Remus looked to see her stroking her girlfriend’s hair.

“So fucking weird, but amazing.” Dora looked back to Fleur, smiling.

Sirius squeezed their arms around Remus’ waist. “We’re so lucky.”

“So lucky.” Remus let out a laugh. “A baby.”

“A baby,” Sirius repeated, wiping their eyes.

Remus kissed them on the cheek, feeling completely elated.


	17. Chapter 17

Sirius never looked forward to time away from Remus, especially when one of them was at a competition and the other couldn’t make it to support them. This time, Sirius was lonely, but it seemed a little easier, with work being busy, and getting the house just as they wanted.

As promised, Sirius checked in with Dora often, because they knew Remus would have a fit if they didn’t in his stead. She seemed to be doing fine, as well as she could be with the rigors of growing another human inside her.

One evening, Sirius was sat on the sofa with Snuffles after taking him for a run. Nothing was on the television and they were looking for something to do. With a big sigh and a long look around the room, their gaze landing on Remus’ journal on the coffee table.

He’d said they could read it, if they wanted. There was nothing in there he had to hide, and Sirius was feeling mushy and missing him lots. Before they could talk themselves out of it, they grabbed the journal and flipped it open to a random page.

_ I think the whole love making you crazy thing, might be true. Slightly at least. I’m finally getting a tattoo! I’ve always wanted to, but never could settle on it or where to put it. Well, I’ve made an appointment to a place that Frank recommended to me. It’s going to be an anniversary gift for Sirius as well -- a square knot with the words Hopeless Romantic. The rope and knot has so many different meanings: our rings, the meaning of the type of knot, climbing, and bondage. It’s like our own little secret. Like the bracelet I got them before. I hope they like it. _

Sirius grinned reading, hearing Remus’ voice as they did. They didn’t like the tattoo, they  _ loved _ it. It was so perfectly Remus and so perfectly  _ them _ too. They bit their lip, thinking of if they were to do the same. What tattoo would they get, and where? Sirius loved the hidden meaning of Remus’, and yet, they almost wanted something more overt, but only in a place where he saw. They had the nautical star on their hip from their teenage years, and that was well hidden almost all the time, so maybe something else on their hips? But  _ what _ .

They ended up spending the rest of the night buried on internet searching, looking to find the perfect tattoo idea. It must’ve been the early hours of the morning when they happened upon it, and they woke Snuffles up with a shout of excitement at how  _ perfect _ it was. The next day Sirius called the same shop Remus went too, excited that they had a space the day after thanks to a cancellation. They could hear Poppy in their head talking about impulsivity, but this was far too exciting.

At airport arrivals three days later, Sirius was buzzing with excitement. They had gotten the tattoo on the outside of their hip, firmly disguised under clothes, because there really wasn’t a hidden meaning to it at all. They were so excited to show Remus, and to have him back home.

“My pearl!” Remus called as he came through, grinning ear to ear. “Hi,” he said again once he got closer.

“Hi caro!” Sirius grinned, enveloping him in a hug. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. How are you? Did you have a nice day?” He gave them a squeeze.

“I had a good time, even without you.” They kissed his cheek. “Come on, let’s go home, Snuffs has missed you.”

“I’m sure you’ve given him so much love though.” He kissed them soundly for a moment before pulling away and grabbing his luggage. “Lead the way.”

Sirius drove home, with Remus in charge of music for once, them both smiling all the way home. They were desperate to show Remus their tattoo but they couldn’t well show him in arrivals, could they? 

“Are you hungry?” They asked as they started out home. “We’ve got food in the house.”

“Mmm, not super hungry yet. I could do with a snack, I guess.”

“Remus Lupin, not hungry?”

“I’m not  _ super _ hungry. I could eat.” He snorted a laugh.

“We can figure something out, I’m sure.” Sirius put a hand on his knee, squeezing softly. He smirked over at them then looked back out the window. “Oh,” Sirius said, smiling too, “I know that smirk. Why do I feel like you’re not particularly hungry for food?”

“Haven’t the foggiest what you mean.”

“Of course not.”

Remus leaned over and kissed them on the cheek. “My scale tipped yesterday for some reason and I’m very happy to be home.”

“Mm, I see. How ever did you manage yesterday, caro?”

“Lots of wanking.”

Sirius groaned, their eyes flickering away from the road to him. “You should’ve told me, we could’ve video called.”

“You were out with Dora then the Potters.” Remus put his hand on Sirius’ thigh.

“That’s true. I’m very sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m home now.”

“And we’re nearly home, so that’s even better.”

“I’m very excited.” Remus’ hand moved up their inner thigh.

“Mm, I can tell.” Sirius grinned across at him, pressing their legs together as they turned into their neighbourhood.

He wiggled his fingers with a laugh. “What would you like to do?”

“Well, I have a present for you when we get home, so maybe we can decide after that?”

Remus hummed, “A present? What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I hate surprises, but okay.” He sat back as they pulled into their driveway.

Sirius parked up, turning to him. “I know, but this is a very good surprise, I think you’ll like it.”

“I trust you.” Remus pecked their lips before getting out of the car.

With a grin, Sirius got out of the car too, going to unlock the front door. They could hear Snuffles barking excitedly on the other side of the door. Remus as he managed to get inside without Snuffles escaping. The dog jumped up on him, nearly toppling Remus over.

“See, he’s missed you!” Sirius shut the door behind them, grinning.

“He did! Hi bud! I missed you too Snuff.” He gave Snuffles some pets, and eventually the dog let him breathe a little.

“Tea, caro? What do you wanna do?”

Remus stood up straight once he was free from Snuffles. “I want my present, really.”

Sirius grinned, leaning against the doorframe. “Hmm, shall we go upstairs then? Or on the sofa.”

“It’s that type of gift?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Well, not specifically, but I feel like it might descend into that rather quickly.” They pushed themselves off the wall, padding over to him. “Especially with you feeling like you do, hm?”

“Great, let’s go to the sofa then.” Remus slipped by them, leaving his luggage behind.

Sirius chuckled, following after him. Instead of sitting beside him, they stayed standing, moving in front of him. “I think you’ll like it.”

“Where is it?” He looked up at them from the sofa.

Actually feeling quite nervous, Sirius bit their lip as they tugged down the waistband of their workout leggings, turning slightly to show Remus the side of their hip. The tattoo was a heart, shaped out of rope, with two hands bound in the middle by that same rope. On the side of the heart were the words  _ Dominate Me _ . 

“Princess…” Remus trailed off, his hands going to their leg.

“You like it?” They asked, voice a little quiet.

“I love it.” He kissed the skin right about their tattoo. “I love it so much.”

Sirius smiled, their fingers going into his hair as relief flooded through them. “Yeah? It’s not as double-meaning as yours, so it’s a little more hidden.”

“No, it’s sort of right out there isn’t it?” He kissed their hip again. “I love it. Thank you for my gift.”

“You’re welcome. It’s not too much?”

“No, it’s perfect, like you.” Remus’ lips traveled up their side as he pushed up their shirt. Sirius made a noise of contentment, watching him closely. 

“I’m glad you like it.”

“You’re so good to me princess. Can I be good to you?”

“Always, Daddy,” they said, shifting their hips. “Where do you want me?”

After a few more kisses, Remus took a deep breath, “I want you to go upstairs to the pole room and get undressed. Put on a collar then take out some rope before kneeling on the couch.” His teeth dragged up their side.

Sirius groaned softly, their head tipping back. “Yes Daddy.”

“I want to be so nice to you.” He smiled against their skin. “Oh and the lube.”

“Of course.” Sirius stepped back, biting their lip. They had missed him so much, not just this, or sex or the way he told them what to do, but his voice and his touch and his  _ presence _ .

Remus grinned up at them, something else playing in his expression. Some sort of questioning. “And wait nicely for me?”

“I always wait nicely, Daddy,” Sirius said, grinning wide as they stepped back again.

“Not  _ always _ , princess. I love you.”

Their heart fluttered, like it always did whenever they heard him say that. “I love you too,” they said back, before turning and heading upstairs.

In the pole room, they got undressed before pulling out the rope and lube, as well as their favourite leather collar. They thought of the  _ Daddy’s Princess _ one for a moment, but something twisted in them at the idea, feeling a little too close to masculine today for the lace and frills. As they knelt on the couch, Sirius realised they were staring right at themselves, kneeling there with nervous anticipation, their tattoo on their hip still new enough to call their attention every time. Remus was going to make them wait, they imagined.

Sirius could hear him on the stairs a few moments later, humming to himself a song that Sirius couldn’t exactly make out. “I’m just putting my things away,” Remus called out from their bedroom next door.

“Okay,” Sirius called back, licking their lips. They knew Remus loved to make them wait, so they were trying to enjoy the anticipation instead of fighting it.

In their room, Sirius could make out the noises of the luggage opening and drawers being opened and closed, as well as the sound of the clothes in the hamper. Every so often, they could hear Remus’ voice singing. They didn’t know what he was singing though.

Sirius let out a breath. It surprised them how reassuring it was to hear him move around in the other room. It was the first time he had done this since they had their breakdown over their dynamic. Sirius thought they might feel nervous, but it was easy, because Remus was right there and he would be in in a moment. Though Sirius didn’t  _ quite _ appreciate being made to wait whilst he unpacked, that came from being a brat and not any kind of anxieties or worries.

Some time later, they could finally hear Remus’ footsteps coming down the hall. They had no idea how long it had been, and wondered for a moment if Remus had purposefully not put a clock in the room. Sitting up a little straighter, Sirius shifted, gaze going to the door.

Remus came in, wearing only his briefs and a smile on his face. “Look at you.”

“That’s all I’ve been able to do for like, the last hour,” Sirius retorted, smiling themselves.

“Hour? Hardly.” Remus rolled his eyes, walking over to the couch. He leaned down and picked up the rope Sirius had dropped.

“I wouldn’t know.”

“No, you wouldn’t, would you?” He hauled Sirius up with a hand under their arm.

Sirius gasped, resisting just a little. They didn’t want to fight so much Remus changed his plan, but they wanted to make him  _ work _ for it. “No, Daddy didn’t put a clock in here.”

“I didn’t, you don’t need one, I got the time.” He struggled to get them to turn around, trying to bring their arms together behind their back.

“It’s good that I trust you then, hm?” Sirius grinned, squirming but eventually letting him bring their forearms together, eternally glad for their flexibility.

“Yes, it is, princess.” Remus pressed a kiss to their shoulder before Sirius felt him being binding their arms together.

“I get the feeling Daddy doesn’t want me moving much,” Sirius said, concentrating on not losing their balance as he tugged them around.

“No, not now. Not your arms at least.” Remus knotted the rope up to past their elbows.

“It’s a pity I’m so flexible. You have to tie it really tight, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s going to leave pretty marks on your skin.” Remus nipped at their shoulder before Sirius heard Remus sit down on the couch behind them.

“Mm, and we both like that.” Sirius glanced up, loving that they could see him in the mirror.

“Mmm, I love leaving marks on you. It reminds you you’re mine.” He ran his tongue down their cleft before pressing it against them. “Hmm, legs apart a bit more?”

Sirius groaned, their head tipping back a little. “What if I say no?”

“What do you think I’ll do if you say no?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure.”

Remus ran his fingers up their side lightly. “Wonder what it could be.”

They tensed for a moment, going to step away before Remus’ hand on their bound arms pulled them back. “Ah… what did you want me to do again, Daddy?”

“You’re not listening very well, princess, maybe I should just be tickling you anyway.”

“Don’t do that Daddy. I’ll be good and listen properly.”

“I said spread your legs apart a little more.” Remus swatted at their bottom.

“Ah, kay.” Sirius bit their lip, smiling as they stepped their feet apart a little more, not too far to lose their balance easily.

“Lean forward.” Remus’ tongue took the same path it did earlier.

They held back on the urge to say  _ please _ , knowing they were probably on the verge of getting tickled and didn’t quite want to brat  _ that _ much. Thankfully, their balance was pretty good, so Sirius did as he asked, leaning forward just a little, their body clenching in anticipation.

Remus tongue pressed against their entrance before licking over it. Sirius moaned, their eyes fluttering shut at the sensation; god, Remus was so good at this. His tongue did a lovely fluttery thing then circled around the area.

“Ahh, fuck--god, I bet you’ve been thinking about this for--ah--days.”

“Mmm,” Remus replied, his hands coming up to the arse to spread them a little more.

“Yeah?” Sirius arched back towards him, moaning again. “In your hotel room thinking about eating me out?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about how you taste.” Remus continued to run his tongue over them but dropped one of his hands and slipped it around to Sirius’ cock.

“Ah fuck, yeah. Poor--ah--Poor Daddy, all by himself.”

“Mmm, just wanted you like this in my hotel bed,” He murmured before returning his mouth back to Sirius, stroking his hand over them.

Sirius felt their knees buckle just a little, swaying if it weren’t for Remus’ hands on them. “Ah, god, Remus, fuck.”

He didn’t reply, his tongue relentless against them as his grip on their cock became firmer.

If Sirius weren’t so lost in sensation, they would be surprised he didn’t tell them off for saying Remus and not Daddy, but they were too close to the edge, moaning with every breath. “Ahh, fuck. I--I’m close, already.”

Remus still didn’t pull back, if anything he tried to increase the pace and intensity he was working at. He moaned against them, as if Sirius tasted better than his favorite cake.

“Fuck, fuck--can I, please?”

“Mmmhmm,” was Remus’ only reply as he didn’t pull away or stop stroking them.

Sirius moaned sharply as they came only a few strokes later, hips bucking to push back against Remus’ glorious mouth. He didn’t let up until Sirius stopped coming. They had to gulp in a few breaths before they could speak, knees shaking a little. “Fuck.”

“Thank you for your gift princess.” Remus kissed the small of their back.

‘Welcome Daddy,” Sirius breathed, voice a little shaky.

“I love you princess.” He sat back, keeping a hand on Sirius’ thigh.

They watched him for a moment in the mirror, still catching their breath. “Can I sit down, please? I’m--ah, shaky. Floaty.”

“Mmmhm, yeah.” He nodded at them, still smirking with his lips pink.

God, that expression would never fail to get them. “Unless,” they said, “you’d prefer me on my knees? Did you think about that in your hotel room too?”

“I did.” Remus didn’t take his eyes off of them in the mirror. “I was going to let you lie down on the sofa with your head in my lap, but I do love you on your knees.”

Sirius turned on the spot to look at him properly. “Mm, I know you do. Which one do you like best?”

“On the sofa. You were kneeling enough today, I don’t want my princess to hurt their knees.” He patted his lap.

“Mmm, you’re so good to me, Daddy,” Sirius murmured, climbing onto the couch next to him.

“I know, you deserve me to be good to you.” He smiled at them before practically forcing Sirius down with a hand in their hair. Sirius moaned, pressing their mouth over him through his briefs, swirling their tongue and wetting the already damp fabric.

Remus let them swirl his tongue around for a moment before taking himself out of his briefs. One of his hands was still tight in their hair. They took a moment to gulp in a breath, looking up at him with a smirk before their tongue swirled around the tip of his cock.

“I love you mouth.” Remus smirked back.

“Mm, it loves you too Daddy,” they murmured, sucking lightly on the tip.

“Yes darling,” Remus gripped their hair a little tighter then pressed down against the back of their head.

Sirius’ eyes fluttered shut at the affectionate nickname and the way they had to concentrate on relaxing their jaw, letting Remus push into their mouth, tonguing over the underside. They always thought they would hate this, someone pulling them around like this, holding tight, but with Remus? They loved it.


	18. Chapter 18

Remus came, holding Sirius down around his cock he saw stars. It took him a bit to gather himself enough to untie Sirius, but pulling them up for a cuddle. He had missed them so much while he was away the last week. He was also thrilled and bowled over when Sirius showed him their tattoo. It was the perfect gift.

“You okay?” Remus asked, running a finger over the indents of the rope around their arms.

They were still panting a little but rolled their shoulders, probably grateful to move again. “Mmm, so good,” they murmured, voice raspy.

He reached over to the bottle of water that was sitting on the side table. Remus wondered if Sirius had left it from dancing at some point recently. “Here, drink some of this.”

“Thanks.” They sat up a little, taking the bottle and gulping half of it down thirstily. “God, I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Did you like that?” He was a little nervous when he had asked Sirius to go wait. It had been so long since they did that -- not since they had that breakdown months ago now. Remus made sure he was loud enough for Sirius to hear him in the room over.

Sirius smiled softly. “Yeah. I liked waiting, I was really glad I could hear you. I did get a little… impatient?”

“But it wasn’t bad?” Remus’ stomach did a little twist.

“No, not bad. Not impatient in a bad way, impatient in a bratty way.” Sirius kissed his cheek, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Good, you’re always impatient with a bratty way though.” He snorted a laugh, his arms going around them to hold them tight.

They chuckled, leaning into him. “You really like my tattoo?”

Remus nodded, pulling back a little to try to see where it sat on their hip. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

Sirius twisted a little to let him see, kneeling up. “I wasn’t sure where to put it, it needed to be somewhere hidden even when I’m dancing, you know?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good spot.” Remus put his hand under the heart. “All mine.”

“Mhmm, all yours. I saw a similar design and thought I had to, the hands, the rope… they’ve even got glittery black nail polish.”

Remus laughed, noticing the nail polish now. He had been so distracted by the fact that Sirius got a tattoo that said  _ Dominate Me _ for Remus’ eyes only. The details were a little lost on him when he first laid eyes on it. “Oh, that’s great. Does it hurt? Are you taking care of it right?”

Sirius chuckled, their cheeks a little pink. “Yes Daddy, I’m taking care of it. It doesn’t hurt so much now. I have to be careful with how I’m dancing sometimes.”

“ _ Sometimes _ ?” Remus rolled his eyes. “You need to be careful until you’re healed up properly.”

“I know, I know. I’m being careful.”

“You said sometimes.” He gave their thigh a squeeze before looking at the tattoo again. “You need to be careful all the time.”

“Okay Daddy,” Sirius said, sounding as if they were trying to appease him. “I will.”

“How come I don’t believe you?” Remus kissed their temple. “Let’s go put on some clothes and eat something.”

“You are so very Daddy today, you know?”

“I missed my princess.” He carded his fingers through Sirius’ hair, which had fallen out of the bun it had been in. “I got to take care of you.”

“Mmm, I missed you too Daddy. I like you taking care of me.” Sirius leaned into his touch, kissing his wrist. “Maybe tonight, that’s what we can do? You can… you know, take care of me. You wanna cook dinner and cuddle on the sofa and we can have a bath, wash my hair or something, and… I don’t know. Would that make you feel good? If I… leaned into it?”

Remus’ stomach fluttered in a way it usually did when they talked about what they liked. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Sirius nodded, watching him very earnestly all of a sudden. “Okay. That’s good,” they said, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth before they cuddled back into him.

“Come on, let’s go.” He smiled then kissed them back.

Sirius stretched out languidly for a moment before standing up, stretching their arms above their head again; god they were so bendy. “Clothes first? I’m cold.”

“Yeah, clothes first. What do you want to wear? Those cozy bottoms you like?” Remus glanced to the window to see it was snowing out. He was thankful that he made it home before any weather.

“Mm, you can pick Daddy, you know what’s best.”

Remus grinned, standing up from the couch. He took Sirius’ hand and pulled them out of the playroom. “We can clean up later in here.”

“Yeah, I can do it later, if you want?” Sirius followed him through, swinging their hands a little.

“No, princess, I’ll clean up.” He laughed as they got into their bedroom. “Maybe you can dance a little while I clean. Only if you want though, you must be tired.”

“Maybe. I’ll see how I feel.”

“Well, we don’t have to think about that yet.” Remus stopped at their dresser. He pulled out a pair of briefs for Sirius then found his coziest bottoms and softest shirt. “Here, put these on.”

Sirius gave him the warmest smile as he crossed over to them before taking the clothes and shrugging them on. “Thank you.”

After getting dressed they headed downstairs, and Remus made them a fairly early dinner. Sirius sat at the kitchen table, watching him with their chin on their hand and occasionally writing in a crossword answer. Every so often they’d ask Remus for help and he answered most of them easily, making him wonder if Sirius was just doing that to get him involved.

“Okay, dinner is done.” Remus split the chicken, broccoli, and ziti dish between the two bowls he had set out. “You can pick if you’d like to eat here or on the sofa.”

Sirius bit their lip, thinking for a moment. “Mmm, sofa?”

“Excellent choice,” He said as he turned the stove off and set the pan in the sink. “Why don’t you go find something on telly and I’ll bring in the dinner and our drinks?”

“That’s a good idea, Daddy. I’ll get something.” They stood up, stretching again, before padding through to the living room.

Remus set to grabbing a beer and a cider then headed out to the living room to join Sirius on the sofa with dinner.

They ate dinner together while watching Bake Off -- even if they’d seen every episode (the Christmas specials included) but it was just a nice show to have on. When they finished eating, Remus cleaned up quickly before coming back to the sofa with some ice cream for them both. 

“Oh, now I’m cold.” He laughed, pulling the blanket from the back of the sofa over himself and Sirius. “I guess ice cream while it’s snowing may do that.” Remus pulled Sirius close to him.

“Ice cream is the best, though,” Sirius said, cuddling up to him. “And dinner was really tasty.”

“Yeah? I’m glad you liked it, I found the recipe while I was scrolling endlessly in bed the other morning before I had to get up.” He wrapped his arms around them, resting his hand on their stomach.

“Mm, good. You’re good at that.” Sirius nuzzled into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss there.

“Scrolling mindlessly?” Remus chuckled as he kissed their cheek.

Sirius snorted a laugh. “No, you’re a good cook.”

“I know, I’m just teasing you princess.”

“You’re mean.”

Remus kissed down their cheek. “Aww, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t think you are, Daddy.” Sirius nipped at his neck, cuddling up. 

“I am, princess. How can I make it up to you?” He lazily drew patterns where his fingers were resting on their stomach.

“Whatever you like. You know best, Daddy,” Sirius murmured, leaning into him.

“But I want to make you happy.” He rested his chin on their shoulder. “I don’t want to be mean.”

“Hmm, that’s true.” They nuzzled into him, running their hands over his arms. “I missed you this week.”

“I missed you too. I don’t like being away from you so long.” He sighed, fingers still tracing over their stomach.

“Mmm, tickles,” Sirius mumbled, writhing away from him.

“Come here, princess, I didn’t mean to tickle you.” Remus stopped what he was doing and put his hands on their waist.

Sirius smiled, wrapping their arms around his shoulders. “Thank you Daddy.”

“Do you want to take a bath?” He asked as the episode on the TV came to an end. “Then we can watch a movie in bed.”

“Mm, yes, that sounds nice. Mm, I’m very comfy here.”

“I’m sure but think about how nice a warm bath is going to feel.” Remus kissed their forehead and ran a hand up their back.

Sirius hummed, shifting against him. “That sounds nice, too. Will you run it for me?”

“Of course, what do you want in it?”

“Mmmm, you pick?”

“I will. Stay here under the blanket and I’ll call you up?” He kissed them softly.

Sirius smiled, nuzzling a little further into the blanket. “Yes please.”

“Okay, love you.” Remus managed to wiggle off of the sofa without disturbing Sirius too much.

“Mmm, I love you Daddy,” Sirius murmured, cuddling up.

With one more smile at them, Remus headed upstairs to their room. He turned the fair lights on in their room then went into the bathroom to turn the taps on. As it heated up, Remus pulled out some candles and lit them before adding all of Sirius’ favorite things to the bath as soon as it was nice and warm.

As soon as everything was ready he called down to Sirius, “Princess, the bath is all ready.”

“Mmm, coming!” Sirius called back.

A few moments later, Sirius trailed up the stairs, still looking a bit sleepy. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He took their hands again. “Come on my love.”

Remus brought them to the bathroom, and got them undressed. Pressing kisses to their skin as he carefully set aside their warm clothes. “Okay,” Remus mumbled against their skin. “It’s nice and warm, get in.”

Sirius let him, kissing his shoulder as they leaned into him. “Are you coming in too?”

“If you want me to princess.” Remus wrapped his arms around them, not wanting them to be cold.

“Mmmkay.” They kissed him briefly before stepping back and climbing into the bath. “Oh, this is perfect. Thank you Daddy.”

“You’re so welcome, princess. Do you want me to wash your back?”

“Yes please?” They tilted their head to the side, watching him. 

“Okay.” Remus picked up the soap and dipped it in the bath before he settled on the little ledge around the tub. “Do you want to see if Dora wants to do lunch tomorrow?”

“Mm, yes, that sounds nice. Where shall we go?”

“How about the café that makes their own tea blends? They make good soups too.” Remus ran the soap over their back. He could hardly help himself when he pressed a kiss to the back of their neck.

Sirius hummed, stretching their neck. “Yeah,” they hummed, sighing softly. “That sounds lovely.”

“That’s good, we can text her after.” Remus set aside the soap to get the cloth. “Do you know what movie do you want to watch?”

“Something old-school romance. Something Austen heroine?” Sirius glanced over their shoulder at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He leaned over and kissed them on the lips, lingering for a moment. “How about Little Women?”

“Mmm, that sounds perfect.” Sirius kissed back, nudging their nose against his. “Thank you for looking after me.”

“Of course, princess. I’ll always look after you.” He nudged their nose back.


	19. Chapter 19

Sirius woke the next morning, cuddled up with Remus. Like almost always they were wide awake straight away, but instead of going downstairs and making coffee they just cuddled up further, pressing a kiss to Remus’ cheek. They loved slow mornings with him, especially since he’d been away for the past week or so.

Last night they’d fallen asleep in bed watching a movie, after Remus had looked after them all night. It was something he’d wanted, and Sirius had been more than happy to lean into it a little, ask for more help, for him to make the decisions. Perhaps it was because he’d been away, but Sirius could see how Remus enjoyed those moments. 

They had made lunch plans with Dora this afternoon, but for the morning at least, they could just relax. Next to Sirius, Remus rolled over a little and squinted at Sirius. He looked half asleep still. “Mmm, morning.”

Sirius smiled, kissing the end of his nose. “Morning caro.”

“It’s nice and cozy in here.” He yawned.

“Mm, it is, isn’t it? You sleep alright?”

“Brilliantly, glad I’m home.” Remus moved to rest his head on their chest. “I never sleep as good as I do with you.”

“Mm, me neither. Even if I get to starfish in the bed, it’s not as good.”

“Right.” He chuckled. “So… last night? We should talk about it, right.”

“You beat me to it, I was just about to bring it up.” Sirius grinned. “Yeah, let’s talk about it. You awake enough or shall we get coffee?”

“Coffee might be good.” Remus rubbed his eyes.

Sirius sat up with a small groan. “Coffee, okay. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay, love you.” Remus moved over a little.

“Love you too caro.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his forehead before slipping out of bed and heading down to the kitchen. Setting coffee on was the first port of call, and by the time they’d fed Snuffles and let him into the garden, it had finished. Snuffles followed them back upstairs, and Sirius was half-surprised to see Remus’ eyes open when they came into the bedroom.

“Thank you.” Remus sat up in bed.

“Welcome,” Sirius murmured, climbing back into bed and holding a mug of coffee out to Remus.

When he took it, he grinned. “Hmm, wake just by the smell.”

“Course you are, you coffee addict.” They took a sip. “So, last night.”

“Yeah, did you like it?”

Sirius nodded, sipping their coffee again. “I really liked it. Feeling… looked after was nice, and I liked it because I knew you got satisfaction from it, you know? What did you think?”

Remus held his coffee between his hands, looking thoughtful. “I really liked it. I liked taking care of you, I always do, you know? I missed you so much this week, it was like a build up of -- care?”

“Yeah, like, you had to make up for all the time you’ve been away?”

“Mmm, yeah, like I wanted to show you I still love you and care about you and I was back.” Remus shrugged.

Sirius bit their lip, nodding. “That makes a lot of sense. Maybe… if it’s something you’re like… needing to really reinforce, we can do it more often, you know?”

“As long as you like it and enjoy it too, yeah.” Remus took a drink of his coffee. “Was there anything you didn’t like about it?”

“I like it. It’s not… I don’t think I get the same level of satisfaction you do? Like… ah, I mean that in a good way. I can see how much you enjoy looking after me and  _ that _ makes me feel good, not necessarily being looked after? But I like leaning into it, letting you, you know, I dunno, pick my clothes and help me get undressed and wash my back.”

Remus looked as if he relaxed a little more. “Okay, I like that.”

“Me too. Maybe, sometimes I might need it, if I’m feeling… I don’t know, some type of way. But if you do too, we gotta bring it up?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Remus set his coffee on the side table.

“Look at us, communicating.”

“It’s like we’re adults in a healthy, loving relationship.” He moved to cuddle up with Sirius again. “Wake me up before I miss lunch with Dora, hmm?”

Sirius chuckled, wrapping their arm around him. “Of course.”

At the end of February, Dora had her first birthing class. She’d asked Sirius and Remus to come along… well, more like  _ insisted _ , and of course they were only too happy to oblige. Sirius had decided to take the back seat and let Remus be Dora’s birth partner, seeing as he was  _ so _ excited, and would clearly be a huge worrier over the baby. So, whilst Dora and Remus were on the floor doing some sort of wildly uncomfortable looking breathing exercises, Bill and Sirius were sat at the sidelines, watching.

Sirius had been trying to stifle laughter since the class began, because Remus looked so intent, and listening to every word. The man was  _ taking notes _ , for god’s sakes. Dora was also very focused, which was interesting. Now they were working on techniques to deal with pain. Remus was telling Dora something, looking very stressed.

“Dear god, what a pair they are.” Bill snorted into his cup of coffee.

Sirius snickered. “Good god, Remus is taking notes, Bill. I wanna bet their alphabetised, his notebook has five sections. I swear to god, if he pulls out a highlighter, I’m going to leave.”

“He looks so tense, do you think that he’s going to okay on the actual day?” Bill questioned as Dora tried to stand up at the teacher’s instructions. Remus quickly got up first and Sirius could hear him talking about she needed to be careful.

“Oh Christ…” Sirius shook their head. “Absolutely not. He’s going to lose his shit. Frank fainted when Alice went into labour, but I feel like… that’s not dramatic enough for Remus, you know? Not anxious and tense and… uptight enough?”

“I see a lot of pacing and questioning the doctors. Dora’s gonna end up begging for Fleur to come in instead of Remus.”

“Okay, but can you just, teleport the baby here?” Sirius gave their best, slightly exaggerated Remus impression. “Why is that happening? Is that normal? She’s allowed to do that? Is that a thing? Oh my god, Dora, are you okay? Can I help? Squeeze my hand, no, squeeze it properly, no, not  _ too _ hard! Don’t hurt your hand!”

Bill was laughing out loud now, which drew looks from the class. Remus was sending a glare their way. 

Sirius rubbed a hand over their forehead, partially to hide their face from Remus. “What are you giving her now? Is that normal? Will that help the baby? Push, but not too hard, don’t--” Sirius switched back to their normal voice, sniggering with laughter. “And then some screaming and crying when the baby appears.”

“Then he sobs. Then you sob. Then you both will love the little thing for the rest of its life.”

“Oh so much sobbing, and so much love.” Sirius grinned, looking back to Remus with a look of pure innocence.

Remus rolled his eyes then picked up his notebook and pen as he and Dora went back over to the tables they had been at earlier.

Sirius chuckled; oh shit, they were gonna be in so much trouble.

“How mad do you think he’ll be if I graffiti his Birthing Class notebook, eh Bill?”

“I think it depends if you ruin his notes or not.” Bill scoffed.

“True, very true. Or if I mess up his colour coding.”

“Don’t mess up the colour coding, Sirius, that’s mad!”

Sirius snorted with laughter. “Can you imagine? What if the breathing exercises are blue instead of green and ‘things to look up’ is green?”

“Not to mention the list of everything that could go wrong being purple instead of red!”

“The  _ horror _ .”

The teacher started to wrap up the class, and Remus was back to jotting some more notes down in that bloody notebook. Soon everyone was filtering out and, of course, Remus was chatting with the teacher after as Dora made her way over to them.

Sirius bit back their grin as they waved them over. “Hey. Success?”

“Yeah! Learned some great stuff, but oh my  _ god _ , he’s mad.” Dora whispered, glancing over her shoulder. “He’s so worried! I thought Hope gave you guys some weed, please give him some ASAP.”

Sirius laughed. “Oh trust me, I will get him high, don’t you worry. Maybe I can get him high before the next class?”

“God, please.” She shook her head then practically jumped, putting a hand on her stomach. “Oh! They’re kicking! It hasn’t happened with you around yet!”

“Ah! Oh my god!” Sirius jumped as she did. “Can I feel?”

“Yes!” She moved back. “Moony! The baby’s kicking!” She shouted over to him.

Remus broke right away from his conversation with the teacher. Sirius snickered at the way he practically  _ ran _ over, letting Dora take their hand to position on her belly.

“Oh my god! Really?” Remus dropped his notebook down. “What’s it feel like?” He put an arm around Sirius.

“Oh…” Sirius could feel their  _ baby _ kicking. It only felt like a little flutter, but they could feel it, pressing against their hand. “Holy fuck…” Their voice definitely didn’t sound a little choked.

“They’re really dancing in there.” Dora was beaming.

“Can I feel?” Remus asked, rubbing their side.

“Please, oh my god,” Sirius said, grabbing Remus’ hand to put it over where theirs was.

The smile that bloomed on Remus’ face rivaled the brightness of the sun. “That’s our baby.”

Sirius melted watching him, their arm around him. “It is. It’s our baby in there.”

“You’re so cute, you two.” Dora let out a chuckle.

“Shh, don’t ruin my street cred, Dora,” Sirius murmured, watching Remus. He looked completely on another planet.

“Street cred, yeah right.” Remus shook his head and sniffled. “Ah, no, they’re not kicking anymore.”

“Probably tired, right, Dor?” Bill chuckled.

“Yeah, they don’t dance all the time.” Dora waved a hand.

“Okay,” Remus said as he dropped his hand. “Should we do lunch, yeah? We can talk about your birthing plan then.”

“ _ Oh yeah _ , perfect lunch topic.” Bill stood up.

“Perfect,” Sirius echoed, rolling their eyes.

Lunch, thankfully for Sirius, was mercifully devoid of too much talk of bodily fluid, and eventually they parted ways. Sirius and Remus had planned to work a little on the nursery that night, because they’d finally decided on a theme. 

“We’re not naming this kid to do with anything in the sky, are we? Or dogs? That’s just too on brand for us.” Remus laughed as he was painting a wall a deep blue that reminded them of the night sky.

Sirius snorted with laughter. “God, fuck, that would be too on brand.”

“I’d like his middle name to be my dad’s name, I think. If it’s a boy, of course.” Remus glanced over at Sirius.

Sirius smiled, melting a little. “That sounds wonderful.”

“Yeah? Good, okay.” He nodded, setting the paint roller down once his wall was finished.

“What about if it’s a girl?” Sirius asked. They weren’t so sure how comfortable they were with the gender talk here, but then, their child would always know that if they wanted to talk gender, then they  _ could _ . “Would her middle name be Hope?”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded with a big grin then studied Sirius’ face for a moment. “We could go with something gender neutral if you fancy.”

God, that was why they loved Remus. He just  _ knew _ . Sirius nodded, biting their lip. “I think a gender neutral name might be nice? For a first name, maybe.”

“We could do that, yeah.” Remus nodded. “Do you have any thoughts about it?” Remus wrapped his arms around them.

“Mm, I like their middle name as something from the family. But something… cute and modern and neutral for their first name?”

“That sounds perfect.” He was beaming at them again. “We’ll think about it.”

“Nothing wild, though? I don’t want a kid named Apple or something.”

“Please, god, no.” Remus shook his head. “What do you say, we go relax and think about names? We can’t do much until this paint dries.”

Sirius smiled, tidying up the paint a little. “Perfect.”


	20. Chapter 20

It had been a bit of a whirlwind of a day for Remus and Sirius. The first birthing class was held, and Remus was full of information that he felt like he desperately needed to remember but knew he’d forget in the heat of the moment. Then he felt his baby kick for the first time, and the look on Sirius’ face was so perfect that he was sure he was about to cry over that expression more than the baby’s kicks. Following that they did a late lunch and talked about the birth plan before coming home and working on the nursery. Not to mention they had just compiled a list of baby names.

“Look at you, using my baby notebook.” Remus rolled his eyes as he was getting ready to roll them a joint. Sirius was adding Quinn to their name list.

They stuck their tongue out at him. “Don’t get too excited, it’s just a notebook,” they said airily. “What about Robin?”

“Brat. I like Robin.” Remus agreed with a nod. They noted it down before capping their pen, watching Remus about to roll.

“Mhmm, good.”

“We’ve lost them now, folks.” Remus started to roll the paper between his fingers.

“Oh shut up,” they mumbled, watching. “Like you’re surprised.”

“I’m not, just making fun because you made fun of me and my notebook all day.” Remus stuck his tongue out to lick the seal.

Sirius seemed to take a breath as he did. “Look at this thing though, caro. It’s got a key, it’s bloody colour coded!”

“Yes! What’s the problem with that?” Remus raised an eyebrow, grabbing the pen Sirius had been using.

They just laughed in response, setting the notebook on the coffee table. “God, light that already, will you?”

“Yes, princess.” Remus plucked the lighter from the coffee table then lit the joint. As soon as he did, Sirius plucked the joint from his fingers and took a quick drag.

“Oi!” Remus put the lighter back.

“Mmm?” Sirius gave him an innocent look as they blew out a plume of smoke.

“You are  _ such _ a brat today.” Remus pinched the joint between his fingers, taking it away from Sirius.

“You love it,” they said, cuddling up and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Lucky that I do, princess. Though, you interrupted the class and you’ve been teasing me all day about the notebook, I should tickle you.” Remus took a hit then offered it to Sirius again.

They took a hit without taking the joint from his hand. “Don’t tickle me, Daddy. I’m sorry I was teasing. Besides, we’re getting high, and that’s not safe, sane and consensual.”

“As if we haven’t played around while high before.” Remus could think of a few times they had broken that rule. He was sure that Sirius was using it right now just to get out of a tickle.

Sirius gave him a wide eyed look, maybe playing just a little. “Daddy, that’s bad.”

“Well, I guess we’re bad then, huh? I should have tickled you before.” Remus huffed, feeling like he couldn’t do it  _ now _ , even though they had done it in the past.

“Mm, that’s true. We are bad, and I trust you implicitly, Mr. I’ve Been a Stoner for a Decade. So, whatever you wanna do, right Daddy?”

“I guess I won’t tickle you tonight.” Remus scoffed before taking another drag. “Decade and a half,” he corrected as he played with their hair.

Sirius snorted a laugh. “Decade and a half.” They kissed his arm. “You know, I’ve been thinking about your birthday.”

“Oh yeah? Not a surprise party, right?” Remus put the joint to their lips again.

“Nuh-uh,” Sirius hummed, taking a hit. “Your birthday, and then, that fantasy you told me about.”

Remus’ stomach did a little flip, “Yeah?”

“Mhmm. Who we could ask, and whether it would be a good birthday present.” Sirius was watching him carefully.

His cheeks felt warm as he brought the joint up to his own lips. “What have you been thinking?”

“I think it would make a good present. Would you want to know who I’ve been thinking of?”

“Yeah, I think I would.” Remus nodded, agreeing in his head that it would be a  _ wonderful _ gift.

“I thought about asking Kingsley,” Sirius said, taking a drag as they watched Remus intently for his reaction. 

Kingsley was incredibly good looking. Plus, Remus knew him but they weren’t close to him. He was also off traveling a lot for the ballet. They wouldn’t have to suffer much awkwardness.

“I think the company is taking a break around your birthday…” Sirius bit their lip. “What do you think?”

“Do you think he would want to because I think that would be good.”

Sirius’ smile brightened. “I think he would be interested… he and I, uh, hooked up at a company party a few years ago.”

“Great, okay… how would you ask, do you think?” Remus smiled back at them.

“Hmmm, honestly think I’d just meet him for coffee and bring it up? Kingsley appreciates a distinct lack of bullshit.”

“If you think he’s into it and you trust him, then that sounds perfect.”

“Okay. Would you… want me to tell you when we’ve planned it? Like, what day? Or do you want the surprise?”

Generally, Remus hated surprises, but he also sort of wanted this one. “What if you gave me like a warning… like tell me that it’s going to happen between two certain days?”

Sirius always looked so earnest and interested when they negotiated like this. They nodded, biting their lip. “That works. We need to make sure you’re not repulsed, either.”

“Right, maybe we kind of check in with that each day during that time?” Remus offered the joint to them.

“Mhmm. You read my mind. You could let me know every morning? During that time, obviously.” Sirius took another drag, letting out a slow plume of smoke.

“I like that idea.”

They grinned wide, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. “Leave it to me, then.”

“I will.” Remus kissed them back, humming happily.

With that, the plan was set in motion. The week before his birthday, Sirius had told him that Kingsley was interested. They had told him the whole plan, and gave Sirius the days he would be around. Sirius also told Remus what Kingsley’s hard limits were.

So, they gave Remus a 2 week timespan. Everyday, as negotiated, Sirius checked in with him if he was repulsed or not. It was impossible to tell when Sirius really had planned for it to happen. Everyday, Remus would come home wondering if he’d find Sirius in bed with Kingsley. It was a ridiculous turn on — just the idea of it. When his scale was compliant, Sirius and he got a lot of use out of the playroom.

Friday, about halfway through their negotiated time, Remus came home to find Snuffles at the door already. Normally he was occupied with Sirius then bounded over just as he closed the door. He gave Snuffs a few pets, looking to see another jacket hanging up on the rack. In instead of nerves, as he assumed he’d feel when it actually happened, he was filled with excitement and a good form of anticipation.

Upstairs, Sirius was doing something with a very handsome man, both of the waiting for Remus to come home. Remus kicked off his shoes, hung up his jacket, and then headed for the stairs. Figuring he was meant to surprise them in bed, he didn’t call out for Sirius as he normally did when he came home after them. Instead, he walked up the stairs, hearing the sounds of Sirius’ moans. If he could think, he would have been sure he was already hard.

With one deep breath, Remus opened the door to the bedroom. Sirius was stood at the edge of the bed, naked, with their hands on Kingsley’s shoulders, cock in his mouth. They looked so stunning like this. Remus’ whole body flooded with desire and just a tiny bit of jealousy. The jealousy was that Kingsley was tasting Sirius, not him.

“Princess,” Remus managed to say as he stood in the doorway. He wanted to watch more, but couldn’t stop the word from tumbling from his mouth.

Sirius’ head whipped up to look at him, eyes wide, cheeks pink. Their hands were frozen on Kingsley’s shoulders as the man pulled back just a little. “Oh, shit… Daddy, I—”

“What are you doing?” Remus managed as he walked closer.

“I thought you were working late,” they said, frozen to the spot.

“So you brought someone home to play with without me?” Remus was finally close enough to touch Sirius but he didn’t, not yet.

Sirius gave a shudder. Kingsley shifted on the bed, watching Remus. His hand was on Sirius’ thigh. Sirius just nodded, biting their lip.

“I think you need a reminder of who Daddy is.” Remus pulled Sirius away from the bed, bringing them close.

Sirius stumbled a little, looking at him with wide eyes still. “I’m sorry Daddy, I didn’t mean to—”

“So Kingsley just sort of accidentally ended up sucking your cock without my permission?” Remus held on to their hip tightly with one hand as the other came up to their cheek. “Did you forget you were mine?”

Sirius whimpered, nodding minutely.

“I should… go—” Kingsley said, going to get up from the bed.

“No. Stay.” Remus didn’t even look at him, his gaze focused on Sirius. “It’s okay, princess, I can remind you.”

“Yes please Daddy,” Sirius said softly.

He kissed them softly, remembering that Sirius wanted him to be nice about it. “Of course, princess.” He wrapped his hand around their cock. “You’re all mine and you need to ask for permission.”

Sirius kissed back, their lips parted. They were staring at him in awe, moaning softly at his touch. “I’m so sorry Daddy. I’m all yours, please.”

“If you’re all mine then you would have asked first. Clearly I need you to have a reminder.” Remus continued to stroke them. “You’re mine and I get to tell you what to do.”

“Ahh, I’m sorry Daddy, I’m sorry, please remind me,” Sirius whined, their head tipping back.

Remus stopped stroking Sirius, changing his original fantasy as he shoved Sirius back towards Kingsley on the bed. “You don’t even know how to suck their cock right.” Remus looked at Kingsley finally.

Kingsley sat up straighter, smiling. “Maybe you can show me?” He asked as Sirius stumbled back towards the bed again.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay princess.” Remus took a seat on the bed, turning to Kingsley. “Take them in your hand at the base.”

Sirius came to stand in front of them, their chest rising and falling as they watched. Kingsley leaned forward and did so, wrapping his hand around Sirius’ cock, stroking slowly as he turned his head to look at Remus.

“All right now swirl your tongue around the tip and tongue at the slit.” Remus moved a little closer.

Kingsley kept eye contact with him as he leaned forward, doing as he said, slowly curling his tongue around the top of Sirius’ cock.

“Fuck,” Sirius breathed, groaning as their hips canted forward.

Remus bit back a moan as he watched, knowing what Sirius tasted like. “Right, now lick down the underside with your tongue flat.”

Sirius gave a whine, their eyes flickering between Remus and Kingsley. Kingsley moaned softly, tilting his head so Remus could see as he did so.

“Good, is it good princess?”

“Ohh, so good Daddy, so good. Thank you.” Sirius bit their lip, their hips rocking forward.

“Okay take just the head of their cock in your mouth and swirl your tongue again and suck.”

Sirius moaned sharply as Kingsley did so, before he pulled back enough to murmur, “You’re a good teacher.”

Remus put a hand on the back of Sirius’ thigh. “Thank you so much.” He smiled at him for a moment. “You can take them all the way in your mouth.”

Sirius groaned, their hips rocking forward as Kingsley took them in further. Usually, when Remus went down on them they didn’t thrust so much but they did here, moaning.

“Princess, stay still.” He pinched the back of their thigh.

“Ah! Sorry, sorry Daddy,” they said, squirming. Kingsley just made a noise something like a chuckle as his head bobbed.

“It’s okay, you don’t want to hurt Kingsley on accident, do you?” He kissed their hip.

They shook their head. “No, no sorry.”

“Kingsley, suck a little harder and use your tongue.” Remus instructed him, pressing another kiss to their skin.

He gave a hum in reply, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked. Sirius moaned sharply, their hips bucking again. 

“Ah, Daddy—”

“Stay still, princess!” Remus smacked them on the arse. “Kingsley, bob your head faster.”

Sirius yelped, their eyes shutting. “Ahh, Daddy, m’close, I’m gonna—”

“No, not yet. Kingsley, pull off.” Remus insisted, giving them another pinch. He didn’t want Sirius to come yet.

Kingsley sat back, smiling as he wiped his mouth on his arm. Sirius whimpered, shifting awkwardly.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, princess?” Remus looked up at them, pressing his lips to their hip again.

“M’really sorry. I’m all yours.”

“You are all mine, princess, I know.” He pulled them down onto his lap. “Maybe you need more a reminder though?”

Sirius nodded. “Yes please, I don’t want to ever forget, Daddy.”

“You won’t princess.” He kissed their shoulder. “What do you think, Kingsley, would you like to get them ready for me? I can teach you how.”


	21. Chapter 21

Sirius had been so very nervous about enacting Remus’ fantasy. They were concerned about Kingsley and them, and whether it would translate well enough into reality.

Sirius and Kingsley had met for coffee not long after Sirius has suggested bringing Remus’ fantasy to life. They had talked for hours, and Kingsley seemed very up for it, as he was wont to do; Kingsley was always up for experimenting. Sirius had been worried about letting someone into their dynamic, and oddly protective over  _ Remus _ , but Kingsley understood. They went over all their groundrules, their hard no’s and what they were comfortable doing. Sirius had also texted Remus to make sure he knew them too.

But now, on their hands and knees on the bed, with Remus stood behind them and Kingsley sitting at the head of the bed, Sirius wasn’t concerned anymore. It was worth it when they saw the way Remus was so turned on, already hard by the time he’d walked into the bedroom,  _ surprised. _

“Please Daddy,” they said, Remus’ words as he instructed Kingsley on how to finger them echoing in their head. “I need you, please.”

“Of course, princess.” Remus’ finger slid into them easily. “You’re so ready for me.”

Sirius moaned, their hips pressing back. “Please Daddy.”

“Okay, princess, I’ll fuck you. I do need to remind you who you belong to still, huh?” Soon his finger was gone, replaced with the head of his cock.

“Ah, I do, I do, make me not forget, Daddy, please,” Sirius mumbled, trying to arch back towards him. They were a little surprised by how hot they found this; it was Remus’ fantasy after all, and whilst Sirius didn’t find Kingsley explicitly attractive—he was an old friend—they found the situation so hot, seeing how turned on Remus was, how possessive he was of them.

“I got you princess, okay.” Remus finally sank into them, let out a long moan as he did.

Sirius moaned, their eyes fluttering shut. “God, fuck you feel so good, Daddy, you feel so good.”

“Kingsley, come suck their cock again.” Remus instructed before snapping his hips.

They watched Kingsley shift forward to lie beneath them, his tongue swirling around the tip of their cock. Sirius whimpered, getting a bit shunted forward by Remus’ thrusts. Kingsley’s cock was right near their face, his hips between their hands. They wondered if Remus would let them...

“Who’s are you, princess?” Remus asked, grabbing Sirius’ hair as he fucked them hard and fast.

Sirius shivered, almost overwhelmed by the way Kingsley was lavishing attention on their cock and Remus fucking them hard. They had to swallow a few times before they could answer. “Yours, Daddy. All Daddy’s.”

“Yeah, you’re mine.” He pulled their hair at the base of their skull. “Kingsley, suck harder, if you’re not.”

“Ahh, fuck,” Sirius whimpered, back arching. They had no idea whether to press forwards or backwards, their hands clenching in the sheets. “All—Daddy’s. M’sorry, Daddy. Never—never anyone but you.”

“That’s right, only if you ask -- ask nicely.” Remus sounded out of breath. “Princess, wrap your lips around Kingsley’s cock.”

Kingsley gave a hum as Sirius shifted forward, taking him in their hand before they swirled their tongue over him. They couldn’t even really think with all the stimulation, with Remus talking slightly out of breath, knowing how hot he found it, how they had been on edge for so long.

“You feel so good princess. You’re -- you’re so good. Perfect. Shit, are you close?” Remus gave another pull to their hair.

Sirius whined in response, on edge and trying not to come whilst also giving Kingsley a good blowjob. They wanted to come, so badly, and then what happened next…

Thankfully after a few more thrusts Remus spoke again, “I want you to come.”

Another moan, then Sirius was coming, their body tightening and clenching, their hips bucking. Remus fucked them through their orgasm, not letting up. God, and Sirius just kept coming, Kingsley sucking them too. When they came back to themselves Sirius was still shuddering with the aftershocks, Remus still fucking them.

At some point, Remus pulled out of them and Kinglsey stopped blowing them. Sirius could hardly comprehend what was happening as Remus shoved them and pulled them here and there so they were on their back on the bed. Remus and Kingsley were standing over them, their head just on the edge of the bed. “Aren’t they so perfect, Kingsley? They listen so well.”

Sirius groaned, squirming a little on the bed at the sight of the two of them. “Fuck…”

Kingsley smiled down at them. “They’re so good.”

“They look extra pretty with come on them. They love come on their face.” Remus took himself in his hand. “Just don’t get it in their eyes.”

“‘Course not,” Kingsley murmured, doing the same.

“Fuck, please,” Sirius whimpered, squirming again in anticipation.

Remus watched them intently as he stroked himself, he was probably far more than ready to come. Kingsley as well, it seemed because he came first over Sirius’ cheek and chin. This apparently sent Remus over the edge because a few strokes after, Remus came. Sirius nearly came again themselves, shutting their eyes at the last moment and letting out a long, broken moan, toes and fingers curling into the sheets.

“Fuck, you’re amazing princess.” Remus groaned, his breathing sounding like a pant as Sirius felt Remus’ fingers on their cheek, swiping up some of the come. “Kingsley, why don’t you get a cloth from the bathroom?”

Sirius’ eyes flickered open to Remus above them as they felt the mattress shift. They made a soft noise, dutifully sticking their tongue out. Remus smiled as he slid two fingers into their mouth.

“Sure, shit, yeah.” Kingsley let out a shaky breath somewhere near them.

“Mmmhm,” Sirius hummed, holding Remus’ eye contact as they sucked his fingers clean.

“You did so well princess.” Remus kissed their forehead, shifting to sit more comfortably next to them.

Sirius nodded, smiling softly. “Mm, thank you,” they hummed as they let his fingers slip out of his mouth. They wanted to immediately know whether it was what Remus wanted, but they couldn’t formulate words just yet, not still shaking with their orgasm and come all over them.

“Are you okay?” Remus murmured as Kingsley came back over with the cloth. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, so good. Are you? Both?” Sirius tried to sit up, feeling a little jellied still.

“I’m brilliant.” Remus let out a low laugh as he started to wipe Sirius’ face. “Are you all right Kingsley?”

“Yeah, wow, that was fucking hot.” Kinglsey sat back down next to them.

Sirius chuckled, tilting their chin up and letting Remus clean them up. “Yeah, it was. Fuck…”

“This was a great birthday gift.” Remus tossed the cloth aside before moving to sit against the headboard, bringing Sirius with him. “Thank you both.”

“Yeah, thanks Kingsley… That’s a weird request from a friend, huh?”

“It’s fine. I loved it.” Kingsley looked around for a moment. “So…”

Remus laughed for a second, nuzzling Sirius’ neck. “Stay and have a cuddle for bit then I’ll make dinner once I can think.”

“Yeah, don’t go, come cuddle,” Sirius mumbled, cuddling up to Remus. They held a hand out to Kingsley.

Kingsley moved forward, shifting on the other side of Remus. “All right.”

Remus put his arm around Kingsley’s shoulders as he rubbed Sirius’ back. “So… anything we didn’t like?”

Sirius chuckled, because Remus’ Daddy tendencies were so far-reaching. “Not for me.”

“Yeah, no, that was fucking amazing.” Kingsley nodded. “Who knew, huh?”

“Yeah, it was bloody brilliant.” Remus kissed Sirius softly. “Do you need anything?”

“Ha, the most frustrating thing is  _ no one _ will believe you, Kingsley.” Sirius shrugged. “No, I don’t think so… Do we have water?”

“No, I’ll go get some.” Remus pressed his lips to their forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

“Shit, sorry, I forgot that huh?” Sirius shifted to the side to let him up.

“It’s okay, princess, I normally do that.” He laughed as he picked up his briefs off the floor and pulled them on. “I’ll only be a minute.” Remus was still grinning as he went out the door for the stairs.

Sirius chuckled, watching him go for a moment before looking back to Kingsley. “That was… Are you glad you didn’t shoot me down right away?”

“So glad! Shit, that was bloody fantastic. I never really got like power exchanges or Daddy kink before but…”

“Yeah?” Sirius bit their lip, a little worried about how he might judge their relationship. “I didn’t really get it either… at first, you know?”

“So you weren’t always like this together because it felt so natural?” Kingsley turned a little to look at Sirius.

“Nah, we were vanilla for a while. Then we sort of stumbled across power exchange, and I jokingly called him my sugar daddy and now… well here we are?”

“Ah, that’s interesting.” Kingsley nodded with an interested look on his face. “I’d never guess you two were like this.”

Sirius laughed. “Yeah, tell me about it. It’s a running joke that everyone would lose their shit if they found out. Even if you tried to tell someone they wouldn’t believe you.”

“I would never, but yeah I could see that. Remus is very unassuming.”

“Isn’t he? He’s great. Kinky as hell, mind.”

“Are you talking about me being kinky as hell again?” Remus’ voice came from the hallway.

“Of course!” Sirius called back, grinning at Kingsley. 

When Remus walked in he was carrying three glasses of water carefully. “There are only four people who know my kinkiness levels. It’s a very exclusive club and two of them only know because Marlene is like a dog with a bone with this shit.” He handed Kingsley and Sirius a glass.

“Thank you caro,” Sirius said, sitting up. “It’s definitely a well kept secret.”

“And Dorky only knows because Marlene.” Remus snorted as he climbed in between the two.

“Exactly.”

Kingsley laughed, sipping his own water. “Well, your secret is safe with me.”

“Good, if it wasn’t there would be a problem.  _ But _ , I trust Sirius to pick someone perfect.” Remus leaned over to kiss Sirius softly.

Sirius felt their stomach flip at such a heartfelt compliment, leaning in to kiss him. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” Kingsley smiled. “That was fucking hot.”

Remus nodded. “Fucking hot.”

They were so pleased it had worked out well for Remus, and been everything he wanted. Perhaps they would talk a little more in depth once Kingsley had gone. “So fucking hot.”

Eventually, when everyone could feel their toes, they went downstairs and Remus cooked them a simple dinner. They sat in the kitchen and made idle conversation, before Kingsley gathered himself together to go home. Sirius thanked him again, so glad he’d been up for it and it had worked out well for everyone. 

“Yeah, bye Kingsley. Let me and Lily know when you’re back in the area with the company, yeah?”

“Yeah, course. Take care you two.”

Sirius shut the door as he started down the street, sighing contentedly as they leaned against the door. “So… yeah.”

“So… yeah?” Remus snickered, holding his hand out to them.

“Ha… what did you think, caro? A good birthday present?” Sirius crossed to him, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles.

“It was the best birthday present.” Remus tugged them along to the living room. “It was perfect and Kingsley was great.”

“Yeah, he was really down for it and happy to do what we wanted. Tell me what you were thinking? I wanna know everything you thought about it.” Sirius kissed his cheek, following him through towards the sofa.

Remus pulled them down and cuddled them before he spoke. “I’m not sure if I had any thoughts other than:  _ holy fucking shit this is so hot. Sirius looks so hot. They’re so perfect and I can’t believe we’re doing this. Holy fucking shit. _ ”

Sirius chuckled, nuzzling into him. “I could see it on your face, I think. You looked so very turned on.”

“I was so turned on. I just wanted to make you mine and I wanted Kingsley to know you were mine.” His hand went to their hair.

“All yours,” Sirius said, tipping towards his touch. “You know, I thought I was gonna come again when you came on me?”

“Mmm, shit, that’s really hot. I’m glad you liked that.”

“Yeah, so much. It was so hot, like…” Sirius trailed off, shaking their head. “When you walked in the room I was so nervous but so turned on.”

“I’m sorry you were nervous, but I hope that it went away quickly.” Remus played with their hair.

“Nervous in a… good way? Excited anticipation? It was very weird fooling around with someone else, and then I was really hoping it would translate into reality.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I felt the same way, I think. What did you do before I got there? What was it like?” He questioned.

Sirius bit their lip. “It wasn’t a passionate tryst. We sort of kissed a bit and got naked, just kinda, made out and… yeah. I love Kingsley, he’s a great mate but it was weird.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it was. I mean, I know what you mean because of my previous threesome. But I was drunk then.”

“Ha, yeah. And we were… doing it for you, you know? To a point?” Sirius shrugged. “Obviously, I enjoyed it, it was fucking hot, but it was for you.”

“Yeah, I’m so fucking happy. I love you so much princess. It was perfect.” He kissed them softly.

Sirius kissed back, smiling. “You couldn’t stop smiling after. I love you too, so much.”


	22. Chapter 22

Remus was on cloud nine after his birthday present. To say he wasn’t nervous for it before it all, was a lie. He was terrified. But it was so hot and perfect. He just wanted to show Sirius how much he loved them and cared for them. Not to even mention of wonderful Kingsley was with them. He slid right into the dynamic and did everything just as Remus said on top of not doing anything Sirius didn’t like. The whole thing was just what Remus had fantasized about, and it wasn’t very awkward after either -- much better than the last time he had a threesome.

Now Sirius and Remus were back in their usual swing of things without the thought of the fantasy pulling at Remus’ thoughts. Nope, now he was all about Sirius and all about getting ready for the baby -- which was now only about over three months away. They were so busy with appointments and lists and  _ everything _ Baby on top of work and their usual life. It was all so exciting though.

The day that they had finished painting the nursery, Dora came over with a mobile that had stars and moons dangling from it. It fit the room perfectly. They had gone with a night theme, with deep blue walls and silver constellations painted around the room. The bedding had a sheet that said “to the moon and back” on it along with an illustrated moon. Their wood floor was covered partially by a grey area rug with constellations sewn into it. Everything felt so soft and warm, including the rocking chair that Monty and Effy had came over with one day.

“This is so beautiful, he’s going to love it!” Dora said just as Remus finished hanging the mobile. She was sitting in the chair, rubbing her ever growing belly.

Sirius was on the floor, putting away some clothes people had bought them. “He?” They asked, sounding a little choked.

Remus stepped off the step ladder looking at Dora with wide eyes. “He?” They said they weren’t going to look at the sex of the baby because if didn’t matter. They weren’t going to raise the baby completely gender neutral, but they were going to just let them sort of pick as they grew up.

Dora made a face. “Oh! NO! I went to your mum’s shop yesterday, Remus, and she said that she’s carrying like she did with you. Reckons that it’s a boy. I mean, it doesn’t matter, obviously, but I keep thinking with the pronoun he now. Baby brain.”

He nodded, taking a seat next to Sirius to help them with the clothes. “Okay.”

“It’s totally not a big deal. I’ll stop. I’m so fucking sorry.” Dora groaned.

“It’s fine, Dora… they could be amab, and if anyone knows it’s Hope and her creepy intuition, right?” Sirius gave Remus a smile.

Remus had a feeling they were putting on the smile a bit. “Right, my mam is creepy with that shit.”

“Okay, okay, I feel less like a dick now.” She rubbed her stomach.

“Don’t worry about it Dora,” Sirius said, leaning back onto their hands. “Until they tell us otherwise then they’re he, right? Or she, in the unlikely event Hope is wrong.”

Remus shuffled over and gave them a quick kiss. “Right, whatever happens, it’s fine. How about we go down stairs for some tea? We’re all done here. Mam dropped off some cinnamon bread stuff that sounds good.”

“Tea sounds good,” Sirius hummed, smiling. “It’s all good, honestly.”

After the tea, Dora headed home because Fleur had a headache and she wanted to take care of her. She was getting close to her due date and everyone involved was excited and a bit stressed. It also reaffirmed that their baby was going to be coming along soon enough.

“Do you want to do something this afternoon?” Remus asked as he cleaned up their mugs.

Sirius wrapped their arms around his middle. “We could do, couldn’t we? What are you thinking?”

“Mmm, we could go take Snuffles to the park and maybe just do something nice.” He leaned back into them.

“That sounds amazing,” Sirius said, kissing his shoulder.

“Are you all right?” Remus questioned, since Sirius seemed not to be bringing it up.

“Yeah… I mean… our baby is going to have a sex, you know? It’s going to be assigned male or female when it appears.”

“Right, and how are you feeling about that?” Remus turned in their arms so he could look at them. He leaned back against the counter.

“Fine, I guess? My own biological sex is unavoidable most days?”

Remus nodded, putting his hands on their waist. “We’ll do everything possible to show this kid that no matter what, we’re going to love them.”

“Of course. I just… hate that everything is so gendered? Obviously, if they are cis, then that’s wonderful, I know the world will be easy for them, but I… worry.”

“I worry too.” Remus brought a hand up to cup their cheek. “I think we’re going to be worrying about them the rest of our lives. I can’t even list all the things I worry about. Gendered changing rooms is like number 18. Bullying arseholes/transphobes/homophobes are like number 2.”

Sirius chuckled, leaning into his touch. “We’re going to make it as easy as possible for them.” They kissed his hand. “What’s number one?”

“Me being a completely shit parent somehow.”

“That definitely won’t happen, Remus.” Sirius smiled.

“I know, it’s still a big worry, you never know, but we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”

“I just want to make sure they’re safe and loved growing up, that’s all.”

“We will. Everyone will.” Remus kissed them softly. “You know what, my mam has been bugging us about having a baby shower…”

“Maybe we should… I can’t do that ‘gender reveal’ thing, though.”

Laughing, Remus shook his head. “Fuck that. Oh!” He paused, reaching into his pocket for his phone as he remembered something funny he’d seen online.

“Oh?” Sirius chuckled, leaning into him.

“Hang on, I might not get the joke right.” He tapped away, trying to remember a bit of what he had seen. “Ah hah! Here.” He shoved the phone towards Sirius.  


Sirius let out a shriek. “Ah! Oh my  _ god _ , Remus, can we do this? Please?”

“Yes!” Remus nodded. “It’ll be great. I mean, let’s do it in the garden and not flood the room.”

“Oh, of course. We can just--oh! It’s not a pipe but it’s a balloon! You know there’s coloured confetti in it sometimes? Maybe it’s just a water balloon!”

“Yeah! Let’s do that. We can plan it today, how about that?” Remus took their face in his hands and kissed them soundly.

“I would like that,” Sirius murmured as they pulled away, smiling widely. “Can we take Snuffs to the park, talk about it there?”

“Sure, that sounds good. I’ll grab my notebook.” Remus gave them a quick peck on the lips before slipping away from them. “Why don’t you get him on his lead?”

“Yep,” Sirius said, grinning. “I’ll do that.”

So they planned for their baby shower and “gender reveal” because even though they didn’t mean anything by it, everyone kept asking if they were having a boy or a girl. Sirius and Remus had planned out the perfect “gender reveal”, and Remus hoped it would put an end to it all along with making Sirius feel a bit better.

In between the planning and the party, Fleur went into labor and had a sweet healthy little girl. They named her Victoire, and the trio were thrilled. Dora kept crying when they were in the waiting room according to Bill, both happy and anxious about her own impending delivery. Remus couldn’t blame her because he felt close to the same way -- not exactly the same way because she was actually going to be the one doing the whole delivery.

Fleur came to the party with Victoire, all bundled up and sweet. Remus couldn’t believe that he was going to be having his own bundle of joy soon. “Is she the sweetest, Sirius?” Remus asked as he cradled the baby. They were just waiting for Regulus, Hestia, and Benjy to show up for them to do their “gender reveal”.

“She’s so cute, I love her.”

“Me too!” Remus couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. “Only about two months until we have our own.”

“I can’t wait,” Sirius said, wrapping their arms around his waist.

“Neither can I,” Dora interjected. “Get this baby out of me, I’m ready to see my feet again.”

“They are still lovely feet.” Bill rubbed her back.

“Almost there.” Remus looked back down to the baby as Snuffles gave a bark.

“Sorry! My paper took longer than I thought.” Regulus shouted from somewhere.

“Ah! Hi Reg!”

“Hey, Reggie.” Remus smiled as they came over to greet them. “Do you want to do the reveal, love?” He asked Sirius.

“I can’t believe you’re doing a gender reveal.” Dora took a seat on the closest chair.

“You’ll see,” Sirius said, sing-song, as they strolled over to the large balloon.

Sadly, Remus had to give the baby back to Fleur before following after Sirius. Everyone was chatting and eating in the garden, generally not paying attention. “All right!” Remus shouted to get their focus to be on Remus, Sirius, and the balloon.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, grabbing the safety pin from the table. “Okay, here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, all the questions you’ve been asking.” They held the pin up, waiting for everyone to pay attention. “I’m sure you’ve seen this before, but just so everyone knows, blue confetti for a boy, obviously, and pink confetti for a girl.” Remus could _ see _ how Sirius barely held back a wince at that, their hand clenching by their side a little.

He grabbed their hand and kissed them on the cheek. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Sirius murmured. The gathered crowd were murmuring too, excitement and maybe a little bit of confusion. 

“Remember, you have to do the gender is fluid thing.” He grinned at them. “Okay! Sirius is going to pop it now!”

With the biggest smile, they jabbed the pin into the balloon, which, instead of confetti, spilled water over the feet of the gathered crowd. 

“Surprise!” Sirius said over the shrieks. “Gender is fluid, bitches!”

“I knew you were going to do something like that!” Lily yelled.

“As if we’d actually have a real gender reveal. How unpunk of us.” Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius.

They gave a laugh, smiling even though they were sort of wet. “As if we would! This kid is going to be loved, no matter what.”

“Right you are, dears.” His mam came over to hug them both. “We’ll all love the little thing.”

“Yes, they’re going to be so loved.”

Remus agreed again for the millionth time before going to grab a drink from inside. He was looking for the good whisky he had bought at the distillery to celebrate gender fluidity and the fact their baby was going to be coming along in about two months. In the kitchen, he found Richard cutting up some fruit. They had been getting along the last few months, but there was still a long way to go. Remus knew it was on him to open up and let him in.

“Hi, Richard. Mam asked you to do that? She didn’t push you out to do it better?” He laughed, reaching for a piece of melon.

Richard gave a chuckle. “She entrusted me with the melon. I know, it’s strange to think.”

“She must really love you.” Remus went to their bar cart, finding the whiskey. It wasn’t until he picked it up that he realized what he had said. He hadn’t really thought about them being in love, obviously they were.

Richard smiled. “I’d certainly hope so.”

“Yeah, me too. Er, you want a glass?” Remus held up the bottle.

“Oh… yes, is that the maple stuff?”

“Yes! I don’t drink it a lot, it was rather expensive.” He took out two glasses. “How’s, ah, your gardening going?”

“Well! The runner beans are giving me some trouble, but the petunias are blooming nicely.” Richard smiled, leaning against the counter.

“That’s great.” Remus nodded, pouring out a rough measure for each of them. “Mam said you’re entering some competition for your roses this year.”

“Yes! Thanks to Monty, too. They’ve really come on well this year.”

“That’s good.” Remus slid a glass to him.

“Thanks,” Richard said, gesturing with it. “How’s your own garden coming on?”

“Fine, I think. I’m worried I won’t have much time to care for it with the baby. I am going to be staying home for a while, but I know I’ll be going mad with baby things.” He looked out the window at Sirius pressing their ear to Dora’s bump.

“A lot of it will look after itself… plus, if you need some help, I’m sure I can pop over…” Richard smiled.

“Oh! Yeah? You would?” Remus hoped the surprise on his face wasn’t too insulting.

“Of course! You’ll have a baby to look after, I’d be happy to help.”

“Thanks, Richard, really.” Remus rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I’ve still been… distant? I do like you.”

“Oh, yes. It’s just… still an adjustment, isn’t it?” Richard smiled, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Yeah, it is. But I’m glad you’re here, really.”

Richard paused, apparently touched for a moment. “I… thank you, Remus. I very much appreciate that.”

“The baby will be happy you’re around too.” Remus swallowed, thinking a moment about his dad.

“Yes… I’m… very honoured to be a part of their life… yours too, and your mums.”

“Ah, yeah.” He cleared his throat.

Richard nodded curtly. “Right. Well, this whisky is just as good at home, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” Remus smiled, feeling more relaxed. “We should go back there one day.”

“Another tour, absolutely!”

Remus looked back out the window at Sirius, who grinned at him through the window. They disappeared for a moment then reappeared in the kitchen. “Hi you two!”

“Hi love.” Remus smiled at them. “How’s it going out there?”

“Good! I’m glad everyone liked our reveal.” Sirius came up to him and wrapped their arm around his middle.

“Yeah?” He offered Sirius his whiskey as Richard picked up the bowl of fruit and his own glass.

“See you out there.” Richard shuffled by them.

“Okay, thanks again, Richard.”

“Any time, Remus.” He stepped back out into the garden.

Sirius smiled up at him, kissing his jaw. “Look at you two, talking.”

“I know, I told him about how I might not have time for the garden and he offered to help me… and I told him I’m glad he’s going to be in the baby’s life.” Remus gave a sigh at the kisses.

“Ah, that’s great, caro. I’m so proud of you.”

“I do like him, and I’m so happy for my mam.” Remus kissed them softly.

“Of course. You are both getting so much better about talking. I’m so proud,” Sirius murmured as they pulled back. 

“Come on, let’s go back out there and celebrate our baby.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small content warning here for an explicit reference to child abuse in Sirius' past here. thank you to the lovely anon on tumblr for the most respectful request!

Sirius was a little nervous to see Andi after so long. They were at Dora, Fleur and Bill’s, waiting for Andi and Ted to arrive. They were coming over from Norway to see Dora and help her through her pregnancy. They also wanted to see Vic, so the timing worked out perfectly.

“What exactly is Andi like?” Remus asked Sirius, putting an arm over their shoulders as they squeezed into the armchair together.

“She’s lovely, from what I remember, you know? Last time I met her I was 21.” Sirius tucked themselves into his side.

“I’m sure she’s great.” Remus spoke as the doorbell rang.

“Yeah, she is, I’m sure. She’s Dora’s mum after all, you know?” Sirius smiled, leaning forward as Bill went to the door.

“Ah, Alphard! Riley! Hi, good to see you!”

“Hi all!” Riley was wearing a green hat today. “Oh, Dora, you are glowing!”

“Thanks, I feel like I’m as big as a boat. But whatever.” She grimaced, shifting on the sofa to stand.

“No, no, we’re coming to hug you.” Al shook his head as he came into the living room.

Riley grinned, hugging Dora tightly. “You stay right there, darling.”

“How are you two doing?” Al turned to Sirius and Remus after hugging Dora.

“Ah, good. Ready, nervous?” Remus rambled off.

Sirius smiled. “No need to be nervous, caro, it’s only Andi.”

“I was mainly talking about the baby, love, but yeah.” Remus kissed their cheek.

“Andi is a good one, Remus, don’t worry about that.” Al put a hand on his shoulder and Sirius saw his cheeks go a little pink.

Sirius smiled, rubbing a hand over Remus’ arm. “Exactly, she’s good.”

“Mhmm,” Riley murmured, sitting on the edge of the sofa. “She’s wonderful.”

“I believe you all.” Remus laughed.

Bill hopped up as the doorbell rang again. “Ah, that will be Andi and Ted!”

“I’m excited, I have not seen Andi in so long.” Fleur looked up from Vic.

“She gets to see her daughter, and meet her future grandchild too.” Dora said, rubbing her stomach.

Bill reappeared in the hallway, smiling. “Here they are!”

Andi and Ted came into the house, both carrying gift bags. “Look at you, Dora! You look even bigger than on video chat!” Ted went over to her.

“Ted!” Andi let out an exasperated noise.

Remus let out a low laugh next to Sirius.

“Dad! Oh, it’s a good job I love you!” Dora stood up, greeting her parents with a hug.

“You look wonderful!” Ted insisted as he hugged his daughter.

Andi turned to Sirius as they stood up and met her for a hug. “Sirius! Hi! It’s been so long. How are you?”

Remus stood up behind them, hovering close by.

Sirius hugged her back, smiling. “Hey Andi! So good to see you. This is my husband, Remus.”

“Oh yes! It’s so great to meet you, Remus. Dora’s told me all about you.” Andi pulled away from Sirius and looked to Remus.

“I’m sure she made a joke about being her baby daddy.” He snorted a laugh.

“Actually, yes, amongst other things.” Andi shook her head.

“Well, I mean, it’s not wrong,” Sirius said, laughing.

Remus nudged them as Ted came over. “You’re both just too funny.”

“Oh ha ha.” 

Ted embraced Sirius. “Hi Sirius, so good to see you! And we’ve heard so much about Remus, good to meet you too!” He said, hugging Remus too.

“Hi, oh, nice to meet you too!” Remus looked surprised by Ted’s hug.

Andi smiled, sitting next to her daughter. “Ted is a little bit of a hugger.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He hugged Ted back before Ted pulled away.

“I’m so excited for you all.” Andi had her arm around Dora’s shoulders.

“There’s so much happening.” Remus sat back down in his seat.

“It’s going to be wild, but fantastic.” Dora grinned.

Sirius settled back next to Remus, smiling. “We’ll have to make a point to come and see you more often, Andi. The kids will love you, I’m sure,” they said, smiling as Fleur sat on Andi’s other side to introduce her to her granddaughter.

“Yes! You should come up to Norway, we’ve plenty of space.”

“We do love having you come to visit. Remember when you came over for that week when you were, god, what, fifteen?” Andi smiled.

Sirius managed a smile. Nothing in their teenage years was worth recounting, but Andi didn’t know that, they were sure. She didn’t realise what happened when they went back home. “Ha, yeah.”

“You did that?” Remus laughed next to them.

“Yes! I came out to the garden and there was Sirius sitting on the front step waiting for us to wake up.”

He put his arm around Sirius and kissed their cheek. “You never told me this. How did you manage as a 15 year old to go to Norway?”

Sirius smiled. “Ha, I just forged a signed note from… my mum, and bought a plane ticket. The pluses of having credit card access at fifteen, I guess? It was the half-term at school, so I just wanted to go see her.”

“That’s mad.” Remus gave them a squeeze. “What’s Norway like, Andi?”

“Oh, it’s so lovely. Cold, most of the time, but gorgeous.”

“Boring as hell,” Dora commented with a laugh.

“You’d say that, love,” Andi chuckled.

It was just after that the Bill came from the kitchen, announcing that lunch was ready. Everyone went to the dining room, where Dora complained about how she felt too big with her bump to sit there. She was just fine though. Next to Sirius, Remus made conversation with Andi and Ted.

Sirius bit their lip, listening to the conversations and trying not to think about their teenage years, how they’d ran to Norway only to be sent back again once their parents realised where they were, how it hadn’t even really been worth it.

Eventually, when Victoire was going down for a nap and Dora was falling asleep on the sofa, Sirius and Remus headed off back home. Sirius knew they were being a little quiet, but they were hoping no one had really noticed. In the car they put on King Princess and sang along, thinking about  _ now _ , how they were going to correct all those past mistakes and bring their child up to be so loved.

Remus was quiet next to them the whole ride, joining in on the songs every so often. He reached over and squeezed their leg once and a while. Before he could pull his hand back to the wheel, Sirius grabbed it, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” He smiled as they pulled into the driveway. “Let’s go inside and we can talk?”

Sirius unclipped their belt and opened the door. “Yes, please.”

“Okay, we’ll make some tea,” He said before getting out of the car.

Nodding, Sirius trailed around and went to the front door, stepping in to see Snuffles greeting them with his usual enthusiasm. “Hey bud,” they said, promptly sitting in the hallway to hug him.

Remus gave Snuffles a pet before running his fingers through Sirius’ hair for a moment. “I’ll go make the tea, okay?”

Sirius sniffed. “Yes please.” They watched him walk into the kitchen before taking a breath. “Can we… can you look after me tonight?”

“Of course princess.” Remus turned away from the kettle, holding his arms out. “Come here.”

“‘Kay,” Sirius mumbled, standing up and padding over to Remus. They folded themselves against his chest, pressing their mouth into the crook of his neck.

“What’s wrong?” He rubbed their back in soothing circles. “Daddy wants to help.”

“That week I ran away to Andi’s?” Sirius said, not lifting their head from his neck.

“Yeah? What happened?” His voice was soft.

“Walburga figured out where I was and dragged me back to the house. Got locked in my room for a few days after that, and the silent treatment for a-- for about a month. Andi… Andi doesn’t know, or I don’t think she’d… she wouldn’t have let me go back, you know?”

Remus nodded, his hands still gentle and calming on their back. “No, I don’t think she would have. She loves you and cares about you.”

Sirius nodded. “Just, remembering that other people’s perceptions, you know? She had… no idea. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. No food for like, three days, and the whole house silent for a month? It just… yeah.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sure that was hard. I’m here for you though and you’re far away from them. I got you.”

They let Remus’ words sink in, wrapping their arms around his waist. “Yeah. Thank you.”

“I’ll take care of you, make you feel a little better.” Remus brushed a hand through their hair again as the kettle clicked off.

“Yes please Daddy,” Sirius mumbled, pressing a kiss to his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He hugged them tight. “Why don’t you go to the sofa and I’ll bring the tea and something sweet.”

“Okay. Can we make a blanket fort?”

“Yeah! That’s a great idea. Do you want me to do it or should we do it together?”

Sirius bit their lip. “Can you do it?”

“Of course, I’ll make it just how you like and nice and cozy.” Remus kissed their forehead. “Anything you want princess.”

“Thank you.” Sirius leaned into him before padding off towards the sofa to curl up there. They felt a bit silly being stuck down memory lane after all this time, and the mention of something so fun, but here they were.

Remus brought the tea in the went to work making a blanket fort, dragging in some chairs and nearly all their blankets and pillows. He looked like he was on a mission. Sirius smiled, watching him as he worked. “You’re very good at this.”

“Thank you princess, I think it’s about ready. We can watch a movie on the TV from here too.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Sirius sat up straighter, setting their tea down. “Thank you.”

“Let’s go get changed into pjs first, okay?”

“That’s a good idea,” they said, letting Remus lead them upstairs to their bedroom. For a moment they were concerned about asking him to do too much, about clinging too much, or being too needy, but they knew that Remus enjoyed taking care of them.

Slowly, Remus undressed Sirius down to their briefs, leaving the lightest kisses on their skin. He then got them into baggy flannel bottoms and Remus’ shirt with the diagram of hands on it. “Comfy?”

Sirius leaned against him, feeling happier already. “Mm, I like this t-shirt.”

“I know you do.” He kissed their cheek. “I’ll get changed and we can go down?”

Sirius sat on the end of the bed whilst Remus changed, then followed him downstairs, grabbing their tea and phone on the way. Snuffles was already in their fort, warming the blankets, but he’d kept a space for Sirius and Remus.

“Come on, let’s have a cuddle.” Remus gestured to the fort.

Sirius did so, clambering into the fort and curling up with a blanket. It was cosy in there, and Sirius felt safe and warm. Remus cuddled up with them, wrapping his arms around Sirius. “Do you need anything else princess?”

Sirius smiled, kissing his shoulder. “Just you, here… Talk to me? Do we have things left to do in the nursery?”

“Mmm, I think it’s all set. The baby shower got us the last bits we need. I check off everything on that list.” Remus played with their hair. “We have to set somethings up but we have time.”

“You and your list,” Sirius murmured, their eyes closing. 

“It’s helpful. We could make a list to make you feel better, princess.”

Sirius smiled. “Mm, what kind of list?”

“Everything I love about you?”

“Ha… mmm… you know I like compliments.”

Remus kissed their temple. “Well, I love how hard you try and you never want to give up on things. You make me smile every single day, even when I’m in an anxiety spiral. You’ve grown so much over the last few years.” He pressed another kiss to their cheek.

“Thank you, Rem,” Sirius murmured, pressing their face into his neck.

“Mm? Rem?” He laughed. “I love how you laugh, like you’re just letting it all out.”

Sirius smiled. “Daddy. You’re the best, Daddy, I feel all warm. I… get worried you think I’m calling you Daddy too much?”

“No, princess, you’re not, not when we’re like this.” He tucked their hair behind their ear. “You have the best smile when you look at me and are thinking about something funny you’re bursting to say. When I wake up in the morning, and you’re there with coffee you look so fond.”

“I smile whenever I look at you Daddy, you’re so good to look at. Especially when you’re sleeping, or saying something stupid in your sleep.” 

“Stupid?” He sounded like he was trying to be annoyed, but Sirius knew better.

“Mmhmm,” Sirius replied with a chuckle. “You talk to Snuffs in your sleep sometimes, or about breakfast.”

“I love that you let me sleep in and you get all cuddly with me.” He kissed their temple.

“Daddy needs his sleep.”

“I do princess, thank you. You make me happy all the time, and I would do anything for you just to hear you laugh and see you smile.”

“You do make me happy. You look after me like no one else has ever done.” Sirius smiled wider, squeezing their arms around him as they pecked a soft kiss to his lips.

“I love how you’re just you and you don’t apologize for it.” Remus kissed them back. “Mmm, I’ve been at this for a bit and haven’t gotten naughty at all.”

“I love you. I don’t feel like I have to apologise,” Sirius murmured, grinning. “I know. I’m very proud Daddy… maybe one or two naughty things though, hm?”

“If you want.” He laughed, fingers playing with their hair. “Hmm, I love the breathy little noise you make when I wrap my fingers around your neck.”

Sirius shifted, lying down a little more so they could close their eyes and still feel him close. “Mm, I bet you do. I like that too, I feel very safe.”

“I love making you feel safe. I love that you feel safe with me.”

“I do,” Sirius murmured, kissing his shoulder. 

Remus hummed before he continued to rattle off more things he loved about Sirius. So many things so big and so small that it made Sirius dizzy. Sirius smiled wider, leaning into him and listening to them all, letting them sink in; here they were safe and loved, looked after and adored. It was still strange to think, but Sirius let themselves sit with it, knowing that their childhood was far behind them. 

Next, they could focus on bringing their own child into the world, making sure it had everything they didn’t; that it would be safe, loved, looked after and adored.


End file.
